[i习作temp] issue54 480字，回拍给连接！ [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-7-16 10:54:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

54"History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today."

Does history tells us only about the past and little about today or future as the speaker's contention? At first glance, this opinion seems appealing, however, further reflection tells us that history does not only teach us knowing about the past, but also can help us to make decisions today for the following reasons.

In the first place, studying history can show us the past and give us inspiration. For example, a student studies the history of science, and he may know many stories and achievements about scientist. He or she inspired by the courage history's great scientist, such as Newton, Archimedes, Albert Einstein, and so on, may decide as a result to pursue to be a scientist in Physics, Mathematics, or Chemistry. Even for the student is not inclined to pursue these sorts of careers, studying historical example of scientists' courage in the face of difficulty and adversity, can provide motivation to face the personal fears in life. In a word, history can tell us many stories and great men in the past, and these stories and men can intensify our courage of facing every problem and adversity in life.

In the second place, the most crucial effect of studying history is that history can help us to make decisions today under the basis provided by history. As a matter of fact, history can tell us many great successes and failures。These successes or failures that our ancestor experienced can provide us a myriad of references. For instance, the nuclear accidents at Three Mile Island and Chernobyl have been studied to ensure that they do not happen again. The study of oil spills and their effects on environment gives similar guidance on how to avoid or at least diminishes the damage of an oil spill on the environment. The study of the disintegration of the ozone layer over the earth has give birth to new law and regulations on certain chemicals .In short, all these examples can gives us value on how to make decisions today.

Admittedly, everything changed form time to time and it may wane the effect of studying history. However, human being can also use these experienced the history provided in the rapid developing world. For example, the ancient Chinese author Sun Wu's book "The Art of War", was a bible of War. But today, not only military commanders but also business leaders gather value information that allows them to operate more efficiently and effectively. The time and society is changing, but the attraction of history is still appealing and attractive.

In sum, from what we have discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that the history does not only tells us the past things but also help us to make decisions today. Admittedly, the time and society is changing, however, human being can use their wisdoms to gather useful information form history.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-16 at 23:30 ]

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Alexandra
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-16 19:26:57 |只看该作者

继续努力哦

issue 54 480字，回拍给连接！

54"History teaches us only one thing: knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today."
我觉得应该抓住题目的关键词，在审题的时候。

Does history tells us only about the past and little about today or future as the speaker's contention? At first glance, this  opinion seems appealing  [个人认为，这个词用在这里不恰当。] , however, further reflection tells us that history does not only teach us knowing about the past, but also can following reasonstoday for the following reasons. [我认为，这样连着写，感觉好象是历史因为这几个following reasons 能following reasons，太主观。我改为：I follow the reasons in turn.]

In the first place, studying history can show us the past and give us inspiration. For example, a student studies the history of science, and he may know many stories and achievements about scientist. He or she inspired by the courage of history's great scientist, such as Newton, Archimedes, Albert Einstein, and so on, may decideas a result to pursue to be a scientist in Physics, Mathematics, or Chemistry. Even for the student is not inclined to pursue these sorts of careers, studying historical example of scientists' courage in the face of difficulty and adversity, can provide motivation to face the personal fears in life. In a word, history can tell us many stories and great men in the past, and these stories and men can intensify   [改为定语从句，怎样？] our courage of facing every problem and adversity [改为hardship怎样？] in life.

inspired...may decide... 病句吧？

In the second place, the most crucial   [意思是否重复？] effect of studying history is that history can help us to make decisions today under the basis provided by history. As a matter of fact, history can tell us many great successes and failures。These successes or failures that our ancestor experienced can provide us a myriad of references. For instance, the nuclear accidents at Three Mile Island and Chernobyl have been studied to ensure that they do not happen again. The study of oil spills and their effects on environment gives similar guidance on how to avoid or at least diminishes the damage of an oil spill on the environment. The study of the disintegration  of the ozone layer over the earth has give birth to new law and regulations on certain chemicals .In short, all these examples can gives us value on how to make decisions today.

Admittedly, everything changed form   [from] time to time and it may wane the effect of studying history. However, human being can also use these experienced the history provided in the rapid developing world [是中心句？] . For example, the ancient Chinese author Sun Wu's book "The Art of War", was a bible of War. But today, not only military commanders but also business leaders gather value information that allows them to operate more efficiently and effectively. The time and society is changing, but the attraction of history is still appealing and attractive.

In sum, from what we have discussed above, we can finally draw a conclusion that the history does not only tells us the past things but also help us to make decisions today. Admittedly, the time and society is changing, however, human being can use their wisdoms to gather useful information form history.

（1）题的关键词，没有抓住。
（2）在开头，你没有限定一个范围，而在后面，也没有往大的方面写。显得力度不够。
（3） Admittedly那一段和In the first place 那一段，我感觉，虽然，入手点不同，但是都一个意思，即学习历史，能得到很多东西，比如经验等。

个人意见，欢迎批评。:)