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clearbaby
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-7-10 19:52:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

------题目------
The following appeared in a newsletter on nutrition and health.
'Although the multimineral Zorba pill was designed as a simple dietary supplement, a study of first-time ulcer patients who took Zorba suggests that Zorba actually helps prevent ulcers. The study showed that only 25 percent of those ulcer patients who took Zorba under a doctor's direction developed new ulcers, compared to a 75 percent recurrence rate among ulcer patients who did not take Zorba. Clearly, then, Zorba will be highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers and if health experts inform the general public of this fact, many first-time ulcers can be prevented as well.'

------正文------
In this argument, the arguer recommends that Zorba will be highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers and even many first--time ulcers can be prevented as well. To substantiate the recommendation, the arguer cites a recent study, which showed the different recurrence rates between people who took Zorba and the ones who did’ t. At first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat logical. A careful examination of it, nonetheless, hardly can the reasoning be valid if only on the strength of this evidence.

To begin with, the arguer depends on the gratuitous assumption that the decreasing of people' s recurrence rate is only relative to the use of Zorba. Actually, it is not necessary the case. There is no evidence to show that the people chosen to the survey are sure to develop new ulcers without Zorba, so it is unconvincing to draw the conclusion that Zorba has the affection to ulcers. And the arguer ignores to consider and rule out other possibilities that maybe preventing recurrent ulcers. Something maybe true that when people get first--time ulcers, they paid more attention to their living habits. They ate more fruit and vegetables than before and drank more water. While at the same time, they kept pleasure mood and tried to angry less. Naturally, they have less opportunity to get recurrent ulcers. So the mere fact that people prevent recurrent ulcer is insufficient evidence to conclude that Zorba is effective to prevent recurrent ulcer.

Moreover, the survey cited in the argument is too vague to believe. Firstly, samples chosen have to be representative enough. However, in this survey, there is no information to illustrate that the people who were chosen can represent the entire world. Maybe the ones who took Zorba are logically stronger than the ones who didn’t. Obviously, the former’ s recurrence rates are lower than the later. In this case, the result of the survey is invalid. Secondly, the quantities of people in each group are unclear in the survey. Only 25 percent and 75 percent are unsound numbers. If there are 10 people in the former group, thus 100 people in the later group, the result cannot support the conclusion. Lacking specific information, it is impossible to gain reliable result or make an informed recommendation.

In addition, it is arbitrary to result that Zorba is effective to first—time ulcers. The arguer simply equates recurrent ulcers with first—time ones, which is unwarranted. If people can prevent recurrent ulcers due to the immunity they got after the first—time infection, it is impossible for the people to prevent first—time ulcers. Anything has be done before draw the conclusion.

To sum up, the argument is not well reasoning and lacks credibility because the survey quoted in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more valid, the arguer needs to make more effective and representative survey, such as the people’ s logical characters and the samples’ s information in detail, to support the argument.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 14:21 ]

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clearbaby
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-10 21:26:53 |只看该作者

顶一下，请指教

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11yaoyao
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-12 21:49:35 |只看该作者

我也在写这个

占个座位

我待会写完再上来看的说

把我的也贴出来我们一起讨论下成不?:D:p

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clearbaby
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地板

发表于 2005-7-13 07:50:12 |只看该作者

嘿嘿，好的，非常乐意

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11yaoyao
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5楼

发表于 2005-7-13 10:43:54 |只看该作者

不好意思,起晚了,寒……

------正文------
In this argument, the arguer recommends that Zorba will be highly effective in preventing recurrent ulcers and even many first--time ulcers can be prevented as well. To substantiate the recommendation, the arguer cites a recent study, which showed the different recurrence rates between people who took Zorba and the ones who did’ t. At the first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat logical. A careful examination of it, nonetheless, hardly can the reasoning be valid if only on the strength of this 因为有几条错误，也就是有几个EVIDENCE，所以最好用复数，不过如果楼主只以为一个，也没问题evidence.
我觉得还是有点长，我就是这个烂毛病，同意酸奶的说法，或者，楼主看看蒙蒙的分析吧

To begin with, the arguer depends on the gratuitous assumption that the decreasing of people' s recurrence rate is only relative to the use of Zorba. Actually, it is not necessary 副词 the case. There is no evidence to show that the people chosen to the survey are sure to develop new ulcers without Zorba, so it is unconvincing to draw the conclusion that Zorba has the affection to ulcers. And the arguer ignores to consider and rule out other possibilities that maybe preventing 这里我同意嘉的意见，用maybe的话显得底气不足，而且这个maybe是副词，prevent不用进行时 recurrent ulcers. Something maybe true that when people get first--time ulcers, they paid more attention to their living habits. They ate more fruit and vegetables than before and drank more water. 可以连成一句，while对比 While at the same time, they kept pleasure mood and tried to angry less. Naturally, they have less opportunity to get recurrent ulcers. So the mere fact that people prevent recurrent ulcer is insufficient evidence to conclude that Zorba is effective to prevent recurrent ulcer.
楼主的叙述比我的详尽多了，学习ING……

Moreover, the survey cited in the argument is too vague to believe. Firstly, samples chosen have to be representative enough. However, in this survey, there is no information to illustrate that the people who were chosen can represent the entire world. Maybe the ones who took Zorba are logically 为什么是logically, 我觉得是physically stronger than the ones who didn’t. Obviously, the former’ s recurrence rates are lower than the later. In this case, the result of the survey is invalid. Secondly, the quantities of people in each group are unclear in the survey. Only 25 percent and 75 percent are unsound numbers. If there are 10 people in the former group, thus 这个thus放在the result cannot support the conclusion会比较好，这里可以用个yet对比一下，或者and并列 100 people in the later group, the result cannot support the conclusion. Lacking specific information, it is impossible to gain A，或者result加S reliable result or make an informed recommendation.

In addition, it is arbitrary to result that Zorba is effective to first—time ulcers. The arguer simply equates recurrent ulcers with first—time ones, which is unwarranted. If people can prevent recurrent ulcers due to the immunity they got after the first—time infection, it is impossible for the 这里泛指，不用the people to prevent first—time ulcers. Anything has been done before draw DRAWING the conclusion.
挖卡卡，这个也是攻击点，我都没有写

To sum up, the argument is not well reasoning and lacks credibility because the survey quoted in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more valid, the arguer needs to make more effective and representative survey, such as the 这个the也是多余的，其实我也有这个毛病，写的时候惯了，回头一读，赶紧删，要想个办法…… people’ s logical characters and the samples’ s information in detail, to support the argument.
结尾我觉得很好，不罗嗦，起码比我的简洁多了
楼主写的真好啊，除了部分语法错误，行文还是比较流畅的字数也够了，攻击点抓的也不错，要是开头能简洁点，应该没问题了。我都不好意思了，第一篇那叫一个恶心，虽然一个模板也没用，但是别人看了说跟模板似的又僵又硬而且字数还不到400，可以问下你怎么写么？还有时间上怎么控制呢？

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clearbaby
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6楼

发表于 2005-7-25 09:12:49 |只看该作者

回11yaoyao：
不好意思我现在才看到~~
argu的错误基本就这些吧，推荐你看一下苏明明的材料里有一个argu里的七宗罪。因为我水平不是太高，所以还是要用模版的，也算不上是模版，就是有一个固定的写作思维。可以把这些错误都分类写好，到时候套就可以~~
开头和结尾我也是自己先总结好的，没有太多的题目相关内容，这样就可以避免考场上紧张而导致开头结尾写不好了。

现在我限时写作argu勉强刚刚完成，大概480字左右，因为我以前没有看过题目，也没有写过提纲，所以开头需要比较长的时间...

希望对你有帮助，加油！！

8.17 济南

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