[a习作temp] Arugment147 VMARCH组作业,谢谢 [复制链接]

savagett
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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-2-9 18:07:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past
two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales
trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what
features they thought were most important in a video game. According to
the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which
require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced
several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at
people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games.
It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to
increase dramatically in the next few months."
第一：调查数据很模糊，不能代表所有玩家都喜欢这个特点的游戏。
第二：即使调查的确表示玩家喜欢这个游戏，也不一定会买，因为这种游戏对配置要求太高。
第三：买也不一定买这个牌子的
第四：广告也不会有很大作用
所以，这个销售增加的结论不可靠。

The arguer predicts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to have a great increase in the next few months since their newly launched games will be very popular. He cities the survey to illustrate that their latest products featuring lifelike graphics are welcomed by young people, and he also considers the advertisements will benefit the sales a lot. The editorial seems to be understandable, yet there are several logia cal flaws in it.

The first flaw makes the editorial unconvincing is survey, which contains no reliable statistic at all. The survey demonstrates players are fond of games with lifelike graphics, however, is this result typical enough to represent the whole game players? What's more, who took part in the survey and what was it mainly about?  Failing to offer complete statistics and contents of the survey, it is entirely possible that people who are fans of graphical games are the major responders of this survey. Or, the survey only provides little alternatives which none of them is the most wanted features by players, while the lifelike graphics feature is just the comparatively better one. Therefore, the survey is fraught with vague which unable to fully substantiate new games with lifelike graphical features will sale well.

Secondly,  even if just as the survey indicates, that lifelike graphics is the most significant feature to all players nowadays, it will not certainly have any effect on the sales for Whirlwind video games. Since as the editorial mentions, the recent released games with such characteristics require higher equipped computers. It is with the most up-to-date computers can the games work. Considering most players will not replace their computers just for a new game, the expected increase sales of Whirlwind games might not follow. In short, he survey only implies players appreciate this feature most, not that they will buy any new games with the feature definitely. Given this scenario, the survey is insufficient to implicate the new sales trend again.

What's more, assuming consumers would like to buy most up-to-date computers for these new games, hardly can the speaker assert they will choose Whirlwind games. Also as mentioned in the editorial, the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined for two years, this trend can not be reversed easily. Perhaps, facing many new games with almost the same features, people have so little confidence and interests in Whirlwind products that they would still choose other brands games. The speaker’s assertion that the dramatic increase is less evident.

Finally, the speaker cites the extensive advertisements as another factor which will make the sales sore. The advertisement is focused on people 10 to 25 years who thought to be mail players of the game. Nevertheless,  this age group players might do not notice advertisements at all, so the advertisement have little impact on their choices. Therefore, the advertising campaign will not server for the goal to increase the sales absolutely.

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songsuenghun
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沙发

发表于 2006-2-10 00:19:23 |只看该作者

占个位置，明天上午有课，下午改

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songsuenghun
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板凳

发表于 2006-2-10 20:58:15 |只看该作者

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past
two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales
trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what
features they thought were most important in a video game. According to
the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which
require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced
several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at
people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games.
It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to
increase dramatically in the next few months."
第一：调查数据很模糊，不能代表所有玩家都喜欢这个特点的游戏。
第二：即使调查的确表示玩家喜欢这个游戏，也不一定会买，因为这种游戏对配置要求太高。
第三：买也不一定买这个牌子的
第四：广告也不会有很大作用
所以，这个销售增加的结论不可靠。

The arguer predicts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to have a great increase in the next few months since their newly launched games will be very popular. He cities the survey to illustrate that their latest products featuring lifelike graphics are welcomed by young people, and he also considers the advertisements will benefit the sales a lot. The editorial seems to be understandable, yet there are several logia cal logical flaws in it.

The first flaw makes the editorial unconvincing is survey, which contains no reliable statistic at all. The survey demonstrates players are fond of games with lifelike graphics, however, is this result typical enough to represent the whole game players? What's more, who took part in the survey and what was it mainly about?  Failing to offer complete statistics and contents of the survey, it is entirely possible that people who are fans of graphical games are the major responders of this survey. Or, the survey only provides little alternatives which none of them is the most wanted features by players句子看着别扭,语法有错误,while the lifelike graphics feature is just the comparatively better one. Therefore, the survey is fraught with vague which unable to fully substantiate new games with lifelike graphical features will sale well.

Secondly,  even if just as the survey indicates, that lifelike graphics is the most significant feature to all players nowadays, it will not certainly have any effect on the sales for Whirlwind video games. Since as the editorial mentions, the recent released games with such characteristics characteristic require higher equipped computers. It is with the most up-to-date computers can the games work中国式英语. Considering most players will not replace their computers just for a new game, the expected increase sales of Whirlwind games might not follow. In short, he his survey only implies players appreciate this feature most, not that they will buy any new games with the feature definitely. Given this scenario, the survey is insufficient to implicate the new sales trend again.

What's more, assuming consumers would like to buy most up-to-date computers for these new games, hardly can the speaker assert they will choose Whirlwind games. Also as mentioned in the editorial, the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined for two years, this trend can not be reversed easily. Perhaps, facing many new games with almost the same features, people have so little confidence and interests in Whirlwind products that they would still choose other brands of games. The speaker’s assertion that the dramatic increase is less evident好象只有明显的含义,可改成is lake of evidence.

Finally, the speaker cites the extensive advertisements as another factor which will make the sales sore?. The advertisement is focused on people 10 to 25 years who thought to be mail the main players of the game. Nevertheless,  this age group players might do not notice advertisements at all, so the advertisement have little impact on their choices. Therefore, the advertising campaign will not server for the goal to increase the sales absolutely.
最后是不缺少一个总结段?再把出现的问题反面说一下?

[ 本帖最后由 songsuenghun 于 2006-2-10 22:06 编辑 ]

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savagett
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地板

发表于 2006-2-11 00:20:33 |只看该作者

Or, the survey only provides little alternatives which none of them is the most wanted features by players句子看着别扭,语法有错误

这样子说呢： the survey only porvides little laternatives, among which no one the the most wanted features for playrers.

It is with the most up-to-date computers can the games work中国式英语
这句话，我想用强调句来着呢，怎么改呢？
the gmaes will wokr well only with the most up-to-date computers..

果然忘记贴结论了。汗
To sum up, the editorial fails to give any compelling facts to support his prediction that Whirlwind video games will have an increasing sales. To better convince readers, the speaker should offer a survey whose result is more reliable with detailed statistics. And the producers should do more search to confirm that players are determined to buy Whirlwind new video games featuring lifelike graphics.

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