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[i习作temp] Issue61 终于有了自己的第一篇I,,,,(coffee小组--Espresso) [复制链接]

shiel
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楼主

发表于 2005-12-21 10:25:26 |只看该作者

下午要上课,,argu得晚些交了.....不好意思啊___

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Cappuccino☆
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沙发

发表于 2005-12-21 11:52:11 |只看该作者

加油加油！！！

呵呵~~没关系~~在晚上11点前交都OK

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【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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Cappuccino☆
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板凳

发表于 2005-12-21 15:13:51 |只看该作者

提纲]:
开头__ 不同意观点.
1. high-profile awards实际是在提倡一种可贵的精神,位社会树立一面精神旗帜,鼓励社会进步.
2. 要用正确的态度来看待high-profile awards,每个人都应追求进步,可以像那些获奖者学习.
结尾__ 通过那些获奖者的榜样作用,以及奖励本身对获奖者的鼓励作用,high-profile awards是对社会有利的.
[字数]: 388 words
[正文]:

Always there are the minorities called elite of any certain aspects in our society, they devote their lives to the enterprise even work greatly harder and make much more contributions to society than the others. Accordingly, they deserve such recognition as high-profile awards, which not only acknowledge their contributions but also encourage them to carry on their pursuits. Thus high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are not harmful to society, on the contrary, these high-profile awards in fact help our society to gain progress.

The high-profile awards were founded to the advocate positive attitudes and noble spirits indicated by awarders. For instance, Nobel Prize emphasize the dedication for the development of human being, the Olympic spirit is “higher, faster, stronger”, and so forth. Those like the banners in the individual fields, inspire people to pursue ideals for the better lives, consequently benefit the advancement of society. Einstein, a Nobel Prize awarder represents the attitude of query in the realm of science. Deng Yaping, a table tennis champion of Olympic Games demonstrates the fortitude of athletics and life. High-profile awards actually help the society to step forward by setting the outstanding examples.(例子用的不错,但是在举例完了后应该要展开,例子是为论证服务的,这段几乎没有什么强有力的论证,建议看看calsunny的作文)

Admittedly, only a small portion of people can be awarded, but it does not mean that the high-profile awards would damage our society. Others should not feel frustrated owing to have few opportunities to gain such high-profile awards, and what we should realize is that everyone can develop the capacities for moving toward the achievement. Each individual of the world are equal, however, some one pay more time and energy than the others for their pursuits. So they deserve the awards, others also could be recognized if to do hard work like them. Even though we will not gain the high-profile awards by making every effort, we benefit from the process of learning all the same. The incentive effect of high-profile awards advance social progress, based on the proper viewpoint of excellent persons who were awarded. (这段的论证不错~~再接再厉！！)

To sum up, while some complaint that high-profile awards such as Nobel Prize are damaging to society, the truth is that they have favorable function to social advancement. The awards are not conflicting with the harmony of our society, they are inspiring the awarders to get farther development and animating others to learn those lofty characteristics of the splendid models.

还是结构上的问题~~和冰河谷一样~~呵呵

第一段: 简单分析题目并提出观点(50~80字)
第二段: 阐述观点1 (150字)
第三段: 阐述观点2 (150字)
第四段: 阐述观点3 (150字)
第五段: 重现观点并总结(50字)

字数虽然没有严格的规定,但篇幅大概应该这样组织

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shiel
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地板

发表于 2005-12-21 17:49:26 |只看该作者

谢谢coffee组长!!

努力改进-----

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冰河谷
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5楼

发表于 2005-12-22 11:26:58 |只看该作者

我觉得不是逻辑很清晰，有待改进

There are always a minority called the elite of any certain area in our society, who devote their lives to their enterprise and work greatly harder and make much more contributions to the society than the others. Accordingly, they deserve such recognition as high-profile awards, which not only acknowledge their contributions but also encourage them to carry on their pursuits. Thus high-profile awards such as the Nobel Prize are not harmful to the society, On the contrary, these high-profile awards in fact help our society to gain progress.

The high-profile awards were founded to the advocate positive attitudes and noble spirits indicated by the winners. For instance, Nobel Prize emphasizes on the dedication for the development of human being, and the Olympic spirit is “higher, faster, stronger”, and so forth. These are like the banners in the individual fields, inspire people to pursue ideals for the better lives, and consequently benefit the advancement of society. Einstein, a Nobel Prize winner represents the attitude of query in the realm of science. Deng Yaping, a table tennis champion of Olympic Games demonstrates the fortitude of athletics and life. High-profile awards actually help the society to step forward by setting the outstanding examples.

Admittedly, only a small portion of people can be awarded, but it does not mean that the high-profile awards would damage our society. Others should not feel frustrated owing to have few opportunities to gain such high-profile awards, and what we should realize is that everyone can develop the capacities toward the achievement. Each individual of the world are equal, however, some people spends more time and energy than the others for his pursuits. So they deserve the awards, others also could be recognized if they have done the same hard work like them . Even though we may not gain the high-profile awards by making some effort, we benefit from the process of learning. The incentive effect of high-profile awards advance social progress, based on the proper viewpoint of excellent persons who were awarded.

To sum up, while there are complaints that high-profile awards such as Nobel Prize are damaging to society, the truth is that they have favorable function to social advancement. The awards are not conflicting with the harmony of our society, and they are inspiring the winns to get farther development and animating others to learn those lofty characteristics of the splendid models.

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