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issue41 kito组,非主流研究
Issue41:
Such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
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教的太迟,真不好意思
提纲:
1、非主流研究领域的简单介绍,然后表明自己的观点:非主流研究满足了一些人们的需要,但对社会起反面作用。
2、非主流研究娱乐人们的生活。
3、非主流研究给予人们精神鼓励。
4、但是,非主流的领域对社会起着反面作用。一是少数人控制大多数人的大脑。如邪教的集体自杀;二是人们依赖精神力量,不再奋斗;三是非主流的过于强大会掩盖一些客观事实。非主流科学的发展在一定程度上阻碍了主流科学的传播与发展
5、随着科学的逐渐完善,非主流作用会慢慢降低。从历史可以看到,(1)自然科学的发展。人们对各种自然现象的认识越来越深刻,人们已经认识了雨的行成方法并且人工造雨(2)现代心理学的发展,使人们学会了放松的方法。
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正文:(551)
Non-mainstream areas of inquiry, such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits, investigates investigate alleged phenomena and events that appear to be unaccounted for by conventional physical, biological and psychological theories, and non-mainstream areas of inquiry gain information by psychic means, rather than through the physical senses. 看了你第一段关于非主流领域的简单介绍,按照提纲你是不是要表明自己的观点了?可是观点在哪呢?再看。。。。
Although scientists have rejected or doubted这两个词互换一下这样动作发生的先后不就很清楚了吗?:) the principle of non-mainstream areas' study, millions of people continue to believe it or practice it. In my opinion, insofar as non-mainstream areas of inquiry is are content to a part of people's psychic demands, nonetheless, it is nonsensical to the progress of the society, and sometimes it obstructs the development of the science, thereby slower slowing down the social progress.为什么观点到第二段才给出?让人感觉你第一段对非主流领域的解释象是多余的
For one aspect, non-mainstream areas of inquiry can attempt to acquire hidden knowledge and insight into events--past, present, and future 不明白你这里的past, present,future指的是什么的过去,现在和将来,你看看这样改可以不? events including their past, present and future,....? through psychic means. It satisfies They satisfy people's curiosity to a huge extent. For example, nowadays there is a popular game what is as a simple form of astrology on the web. Through input inputing personal information, such as birth date, blood type, and so on, the computer will output your preexistence, your fortune at a period of time. Many young people like to play it; some of them consider it is a good form of entertainment.我终于看到entertainment了,其实你一开始想要说的就是这个,那为什么不直接从占卜术满足人们的好奇心开始说呢?末尾简单说一下有些人认为它是一个好的娱乐方式就完事是不是有点不负责任,是否应该说一下它给人们带来休闲娱乐的同时帮助人们缓解工作的压力及其它精神方面的的困扰呢?
For another aspect, non-mainstream areas of inquiry can let people pin their hope on the outer world, then acquire psychic encourage. The empirical evidence supporting this position is overwhelming; yet one needs look no further than an ordinary people. He falls across a very huge frustration. Despair, depression haunt within himself. He always bethink thinks of death and seems cannot recover after a setback. However, all these have been changed. He pulls up his slack again. Indeed, psychic enforce, through hint hinting him that a supernatural force is always kind to everyone, let him find a psychic comforter. He is not someone else; he is my uncle.看了半天不知道你这个例子说的是什么?你想说的是你叔叔在遭遇一次重大挫折后极度失望和沮丧,总想死,然后一切突然改变了,又开始重新生活是吗?你说精神的力量通过暗示他超自然的力量对每个人都是友善的让他找到精神安慰对吗?按我的理解,你这个例子语序不清楚,表达混乱,说的还是你叔叔,那就更没说服力了,你说我举个我叔叔或小姨的例子你会信吗?
However, non-mainstream areas do not contribute to the development of the society, instead, it obstruct obstruct the social progress. Firstly, non-mainstream areas of inquiry is are short of the rules of objectivity, entirely numinous--psychic这两个词重复了,用一个就好 phenomena are difficult to define or isolate 你看用discern会不会好一点? since the phenomena occur only for a select group of observers, it result in the fact that people's mind is easy to be controlled by a few people. There are countless collective suicide of heretics is去掉 in such instance. 感觉用异教徒集体自杀的例子来说明非主流领域的弊端比较好
Secondly, non-mainstream areas of inquiry causes cause that people rely on the psychic force 你看看能不能这样写?cause people's excessive relicance on the psychic force? and stop personal struggling. It seems that people absolutely maze themselves and lost the funny and enjoys the importance and enjoyment of life.
Thirdly, the overly 副词不能修饰,你看看用overwhelming可否? mightiness of non-mainstream areas always cover the true nature of the thing. In other words, it blocks the development and the prevalence of mainstream science. Review the hardness of astronomy's progress and its prevalence at the sixteenth century when non-mainstream areas are prevailed at that time.这句话缺少主语,你看看能不能这样写:Reviewing the development of neoteric astronomy, we will find that the nonmainstream areas of inquiry impede the progress of it. All of extraordinary contemporary scientists suffered tragic encounters. Copernicus published his theories about the sky in the dying hours是"日心说"吗?我也不太清楚具体的表达方式; Galileo was sentenced imprisonment into prison for about 300years; Bruno was burned to death.这段论述的比较好,其实我觉得真正对非主流领域的驳斥有这一段论述就够了,个人愚见,呵呵
Glimpse at the history, natural science increasing increasingly explains various natural phenomena, people increasing increasingly realize the principle of those phenomena; psychological development of modern times是说现代的心理学发展吗?看不懂,the development of modern psychology? let people acquire the method to calm down calm down?应该是使人们获得知识去进一步探索,发掘真理才对呀?. The inescapable conclusion, then, is that with the gradually perfect of the science,科学不是完美的哦? the influence of non-mainstream will reduce用被动吧?be reduced.
感觉文章的开头写的很繁琐,我觉得没有必要去解释什么是非主流,直接用第二段表明自己的观点不就好了吗?然后是你叔叔的例子,没有说服力而让人感觉语无伦次。感觉用异教徒集体自杀的例子来论证非主流的不利影响比较好,此外对非主流如何阻碍科学领域的发展那段也写的比较好,恩,jiejie有什么意见说出来大家一起讨论讨论?
[ 本帖最后由 jingjingtous 于 2006-1-11 12:47 编辑 ] |
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