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happy_shirley
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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-1-10 14:00:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue7."The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records." 7．数码相机可以精确地拍摄当代人们的生活，它的重要性已经超过了纸笔记录。
论点：在当代人的生活中，纸笔记录仍然发挥了重要作用，不亚于数码相机。
1、数码资料提供的信息更丰富。
2、纸笔记录可能因语言的使用问题引起歧异。而录像资料更加客观，更加可信。
3、数码资料具有跨语言的优势。
结论：随着科技的不断发展，数码相机将发挥越来越大的作用。

As the development of technology, video camera has played a more and more important role in our daily life. I strongly agree with the above issue that the video camera has become a more important form of documentation than written records.

First of all, the video camera can provide rich and colorful information which written records can not carry out. It is known to all that the video camera can contain a recording of music, conversation, pictures and other visual and auditory information. The record is undoubtedly more interesting and lively. When people go traveling, they are accustomed to take the video camera to record their wonderful experience instead of writing diary.

In addition, the video camera can provide more objective information without any misinterpretation. The written records are recorded by language, which means that anyone can have their own comprehension about it. It is not rare to see that people involve into legal proceedings for their different comprehension with the items in the contract. Therefore, the records provided by video camera can be more direct, with less misleading information than written records.

At last, as a researcher in language field, I strongly recommend the video record because it can be understood by people using different languages. It is a very important advantage which makes the video information more popular than written records.For example, when a Chinese recorder writes records, he or she probably write it in Chinese. However, when other people who do not speak Chinese, want to know the information in this records, it will be impossible for them to read. On the contrary, using video records, most people who have normal eyesight can comprehend what happened. That is why video information gets more and more popular across the world.

In sum, I believe that as the development of science and technology, video camera will influence our daily life more and more deeply. Though it can not take place of written record in a short time, but more and more people will tend to use video camera to record our colorful and wonderful life.

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shashafeng33
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沙发

发表于 2006-1-10 20:57:20 |只看该作者

当代人们的生活，它的重要性已经超过了纸笔记录。
论点：在当代人的生活中，纸笔记录仍然发挥了重要作用，不亚于数码相机。
1、数码资料提供的信息更丰富。
2、纸笔记录可能因语言的使用问题引起歧异。而录像资料更加客观，更加可信。
3、数码资料具有跨语言的优势。
结论：随着科技的不断发展，数码相机将发挥越来越大的作用。

As the development of technology, video camera has played a more and more important role in our daily life. I strongly agree with the above issue that the video camera has become a more important form of documentation than written records.简洁有力的开头,学习

First of all, the video camera can provide rich and colorful information which written records can not carry out. It is known to all that the video camera can contain a recording of music, conversation, pictures and other visual and auditory information. :L写成数码相机了The record is undoubtedly more interesting and lively. When people go traveling, they are accustomed to take the video camera to record their wonderful experience instead of writing diary.语言真没说的,向你学习

In addition, the video camera can provide more objective information without any misinterpretation. The written records are recorded by language, which means that anyone can have their own comprehension about it. It is not rare to see that people involve into legal proceedings for their different comprehension with the items in the contract. 司法事件中各人不同理解证明的是语言表述有多种理解,语言的歧义证明了纸笔记录的不客观性,感觉这例子有点绕,不如直接说.Therefore, the records provided by video camera can be more direct, with less misleading information than written records.

At last, as a researcher in language field, I strongly recommend the video record because it can be understood by people using different languages. It is a very important advantage which makes the video information more popular than written records.For example, when a Chinese recorder writes records, he or she probably write it in Chinese. However, when other people who do not speak Chinese, want to know the information in this records, it will be impossible太绝对了,可以翻译啊,是不是改成very different for them to read. On the contrary, using video records, most people who have normal eyesight can comprehend what happened. That is why video information gets more and more popular across the world.

这里是不是要加上一小段video carema 的不足或written record的好处来作个让步呢?否则仅仅在结尾段提到有点突兀

In sum, I believe that as the development of science and technology, video camera will influence our daily life more and more deeply. Though it can not take place of written record in a short time, but more and more people will tend to use video camera to record our colorful and wonderful life.

关于提纲想说一点,shirley你有没有注意到题目，里面是video carema, 而不是digital camera.所以你文章中的有关数码的部分需要修改一下
还有,原题里面是在讲在documentation这个领域将两者比较的,点到这一点比较好.
shirley,你是英语系的吗?文章写得很流畅啊,搞得我有点象鸡蛋里挑骨头了,水平有限,请多指教啊

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加一
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板凳

发表于 2006-1-10 21:35:23 |只看该作者

提几个小问题，比如提纲中说的是笔纸仍然发挥着主要作用，而作文中就变观点了。
还有文中出现了4次more and more,其中最后4行就出现了3次，建议在一些地方换成an increasing...
还有就是字数的问题，有人说600以上分数才会高，有人说300多即可，但我觉得尽量上400吧

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happy_shirley
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地板

发表于 2006-1-10 22:20:46 |只看该作者

谢谢组长帮我拍文，交流还是很重要的。
我会再看看大家写的再修改。

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happy_shirley
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5楼

发表于 2006-1-10 22:58:33 |只看该作者

原帖由加一于 2006-1-10 21:35 发表
提几个小问题，比如提纲中说的是笔纸仍然发挥着主要作用，而作文中就变观点了。
还有文中出现了4次more and more,其中最后4行就出现了3次，建议在一些地方换成an increasing...
还有就是字数的问题，有人说600以 ...

不好意思，刚开始本来从反面写的，后来改了，但是提纲没有改过来。
more and more可能写的时候没有注意。:L 语言有点贫乏了。

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happyleer
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6楼

发表于 2006-1-12 14:29:31 |只看该作者

一点小意见

At last, as a researcher in language field, I strongly recommend the video record because it can be understood by people using different languages. It is a very important advantage which makes the video information more popular than written records.For example, when a Chinese recorder writes records, he or she probably write it in Chinese. However, when other people who do not speak Chinese, want to know the information in this records, it will be impossible difficult for them to read. On the contrary, using video records, most people who have normal eyesight can comprehend what happened. That is why video information gets more and more popular across the world.

如果语言不通，我们也看不懂录像的内容呀, 从这一方面论述有点危险！

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