[i习作temp] Issue7 技术类高频，敬请大家随便拍，谢谢！必回拍 [复制链接]

Archer1123
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-1-6 23:33:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

感觉写得很不好，很杂乱
ＩＳＳＵＥ总频率５２
7 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
不同意：各有优缺点，互补形式
1. video camera 优缺点
2. written 优缺点

With the invention and application of video camera, the style of recording has changed dramatically. The influence on people’s daily life is so significant that some people hold the view the video camera has won the traditional form of documentation -- written records. As far as I am concerned, it is hard to say which is better, while which is worse in that either of them has merits and demerits. The video camera and the written form are complementary forms to record people’s civilization.

As an innovative recording form, the video camera has appealing characters, such as vivid, accurate record and practicing easily, which leads people into a whole new and colorful world. With the video camera, people can record objectively what happened with sound and image, which redounds to others understand the detailed information of events, just like on spots. Though the wedding video record, friends and relatives who do not attend the wedding ceremony can share the joy and happiness also. We can really appreciate the shaking natural power by watching the earthquake, volcano eruption record. Moreover, what video camera recorded conduces to making an unbiased judgment. Such as traffic accidents, crime conducts, officers’ misconduct or malpractice. To some extent, the video camera is an objective witness with perfect memories. Moreover, there is no special request on the people using the video camera to record, just following the user menu to operate it, even a child is competent.
Every coin has two sides. The video camera form is limited by the equipment. First of all, people must prepare the video camera in advance, then they can record what happened. No video camera, no record. That is to say, video camera might be unfit for some unexpected or emergent circumstance. Furthermore, the lens limits the scope of the video camera. The video camera only can record the exterior of current events but rather the deep of whole things, especially in interior thought, affection. That is why the attraction of some films adapted from fiction is inferior to that of original fiction.

When it come to the written record, it is available to everywhere and epoch. The written document appeared after the invention of words. It can describe the events within wide time range and space; the annals is a best instance to illustrate the point. What’s more, the written record form can express the abstract documents, the law and rule, the scientific theory, people’s interior thoughts and feelings, etc.
Similarly, the traditional record form has the disadvantage in some aspects, because it is people who record events, not machine. For one thing, the record process needs educated people to finish, at least those who have ability to write letter. For another, people will add their subjective factors into the record more or less, even if they try to avoid it. For example, there are various interpretations about the same historical affair. Additionally, it is a difficult task to preserve the written document completely and integrally, since the written record will occupy spacious room and be destroyed by high temperature or humidity easily.

Based on what have discussed above, it is obvious that the video camera record form cannot replace the written documents, just like the TV program cannot substitute the newspaper. A video record companied the interpretation is better than either single form. We should make good use of two forms to serve us.

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sallyxindu
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沙发

发表于 2006-1-18 21:13:42 |只看该作者

感觉写得很不好，很杂乱
ＩＳＳＵＥ总频率５２
7 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
不同意：各有优缺点，互补形式
1.       video camera 优缺点
2.       written 优缺点

With the invention and application of video camera, the style of recording has changed dramatically. Theits influence on people’s daily life is so significant that some people hold the view the video camera has won overthe traditional form of documentation -- written records. As far as I am concerned, it is hard to say which is better, while which is worse去掉，多余了 in that either of them has merits and demerits. The video camera and the written form are complementary forms to record people’s civilization.
不错的开头，简洁明了

As an innovative recording form, the video camera has appealing characters, such as vivid, accurate record and practicing easily,注意词性的一致 which leads people into a whole new and colorful world. With the video camera, people can record objectively what happened with sound and image, which redounds to others understand the detailed information of events,to 是介词啊，后面跟的不太对 just like on spots. Though the wedding video record, friends and relatives who do not attend the wedding ceremony can share the joy and happiness also. We can really appreciate the shaking natural power by watching the earthquake, volcano eruption record. Moreover, what video camera recorded conduces to making an unbiased judgment. 不要断开Such as traffic accidents, crime conducts, officers’ misconduct or malpractice. To some extent, the video camera is an objective witness with perfect memories. Moreover, there is no special request on the people using the video camera to record,but just following the user menu to operate it, even a child is competent.

Every coin has two sides. The video camera form is limited by the equipment. First of all, people must prepare the video camera in advance, then they can record what happened. No video camera, no record. That is to say, video camera might be unfit for some unexpected or emergent circumstance. Furthermore, the lens limits the scope of the video camera. The video camera only can record the exterior of current events but rather the deep of whole things, especially in interior thought, affection. That is why the attraction of some films adapted from fiction is inferior to that of original fiction.
这段的观点和论证点很好～～～！学习中
When it come to the written record, it is available toin everywhere and epoch. The written document appeared after the invention of words. It can describe the events within wide time range and space; the annals is a best instance to illustrate the point. What’s more, the written record form can express the abstract documents, the law and rule, the scientific theory, people’s interior thoughts and feelings, etc.
Similarly, the traditional record form has the disadvantage in some aspects, because it is people who record events, not machine. For one thing, the record process needs educated people to finish, at least those who have ability to write letter. For another, people will add their subjective factors into the record more or less, even if they try to avoid it. For example, there are various interpretations about the same historical affair with some of which are too subjective to be held true. Additionally, it is a difficult task to preserve the written document completely and integrally, since the written record will occupy spacious room and be destroyed by high temperature or humidity easily.

Based on what have discussed above, it is obvious that the video camera record form cannot replace the written documents, just like the TV program cannot substitute the newspaper. A video record companied the interpretation is better than either single form. We should make good use of two forms to serve us.

Archer,我大概看了下结构和观点，细节就没怎么仔细看了，觉得观点真的是不错，但行文结构需要注意下，这样一好一坏然后又一好一坏的结构不是特别好，象垒积木的感觉，太机械了，可以适当调节以下，比如，象传统记录的描述可以不分成两段来写了，重要写他的对数码产品的弥补，然后在同一段里带过一下他的缺陷。
另外，对于表达的地道性可再提高，第２段的有些表达不是很好，比较中式，比如说a child is competent，这个意思其实是更强调这个小孩有能力，而不是说这个小孩都能完成这么一个工作．

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