[a习作temp] Arguement170 崩溃的边缘，今天只写了409字，越写越少了 [复制链接]

leedgen
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-2-15 19:45:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

170. For the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. This trend began shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters. But scientists have now devised a process for killing the bacteria. Once consumers are made aware of the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are likely to be willing to pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters, and greater profits for Gulf Coast oyster producers will follow.
提纲：
1．科学家发明了杀死细菌的process，但是没有任何确凿的证据来证明这一点。细菌有很多种，这个新的过程能不能完全杀死那些有害的细菌呢？另外，会不会有什么副作用？
2．即使消费者相信了Gulf Coast oysters的安全性，他们也不一定再买GC的牡蛎，并且还以和AC一样的价格购买。可能由于要经过杀菌的过程，GC的牡蛎不如AC的新鲜，营养成分、口感也差了；最重要是AC很可能进行降价，这就更使得他们的牡蛎受欢迎。
3．另外即使消费者又重新购买Gulf Coast oysters，生产商的利润也不一定增加，因为要花费一部分杀死有害的细菌。

It is hard to say that consumers in California are willing to pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters because they might be not sure about the increased safety and be afraid of the possible side-effects in the processed Gulf Coast oysters. Further, the conclusion that the followed greater profits is also unwarranted.

There is no solid evidence to prove that the process that scientists devised for killing the bacteria is effective and the processed oysters will not do harm to heath. Perhaps this process is only effective in killing one kind of the harmful bacteria, but as to other kinds it does not work at all. More experiments and investigations need to be taken to make sure that an effective process does kill all the kinds of harmful bacteria in raw Gulf Coast oysters. In addition, consumers should be made aware of the potential side-effects exerted after they eat the processed raw Gulf Coast oysters. Hence, it is unfair and also irresponsible for the speaker to assume the safety of Gulf Coast oysters can be increased.

Granted that consumers are convinced about the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are still likely not willing to pay as much for their oysters as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters. Firstly, it is completely possible that Gulf Coast oysters become less fresh and contain less nutrition than northeastern Atlantic oysters. Thus, why are consumers willing to pay much on this kind of oysters? It would be absurd for consumers to buy Gulf Coast oysters rather than the fresh and nutritional northeastern Atlantic oysters. Secondly, considering the increased safety and the possible tough competition of Gulf Coast oysters, northeastern Atlantic oyster producers might develop a series of actions to keep their customers, such as cut in price, or other appealing sales methods.

Finally, even if we concede that lots of consumers begin to buy Gulf Coast oysters, it does not follow that profits will increase. The process for killing the harmful bacteria will cost those oyster producers a great number of money, and additionally the oyster producers have to pay a lot to keep oysters’ fresh appearance to attract customers. Without considering these crucial facets to profits, it is presumptuous to assume that the profits of Gulf Coast oyster producers will be greater.

On balance, the speaker fails to take into account those significant factors concerning what consumers care about oysters and what influences the profits.

KITO
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leedgen
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沙发

发表于 2006-2-15 21:24:59 |只看该作者

大家帮看看那，先谢谢了

KITO
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板凳

发表于 2006-2-15 21:26:02 |只看该作者

占位~~ 一会儿帮你看

用心就不会错过...

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地板

发表于 2006-2-15 21:50:06 |只看该作者

1．科学家发明了杀死细菌的process，但是没有任何确凿的证据来证明这一点。细菌有很多种，这个新的过程能不能完全杀死那些有害的细菌呢？[觉得前面这个不是题目说的重点，好像没必要驳斥] 另外，会不会有什么副作用？
2．即使消费者相信了Gulf Coast oysters的安全性，他们也不一定再买GC的牡蛎，并且还以和AC一样的价格购买。可能由于要经过杀菌的过程，GC的牡蛎不如AC的新鲜，营养成分、口感也差了；最重要是AC很可能进行降价，这就更使得他们的牡蛎受欢迎。
3．另外即使消费者又重新购买Gulf Coast oysters，生产商的利润也不一定增加，因为要花费一部分杀死有害的细菌。

It is hard to say that consumers in California are willing to pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters because they might be not sure about the increased safety and be afraid of the possible side-effects in the processed Gulf Coast oysters. Further, the conclusion that the followed greater profits is also unwarranted.[开头间要阐明论点，不错]

There is no solid evidence to prove that the process that scientists devised for killing the bacteria is effective and the processed oysters will not do harm to heath. Perhaps this process is only effective in killing one kind of the harmful bacteria, but as to other kinds it does not work at all.[这块就如我在你提纲里说的] More experiments and investigations need to be taken to make sure that an effective process does kill all the kinds of harmful bacteria in raw Gulf Coast oysters. In addition, consumers should be made [这里用被动形式好像没必要阿] aware of the potential side-effects exerted after they eat the processed raw Gulf Coast oysters. Hence, it is unfair and also irresponsible for the speaker to assume the safety of Gulf Coast oysters can be increased.

Granted that consumers are convinced about the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are still likely not willing to pay as much for their oysters as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters. Firstly, it is completely possible that Gulf Coast oysters become less fresh and contain less nutrition than northeastern Atlantic oysters [加上after the process好一点]. Thus, why are consumers willing to pay much on this kind of oysters? It would be absurd for consumers to buy Gulf Coast oysters rather than the fresh and nutritional northeastern Atlantic oysters. Secondly, considering the increased safety and the possible tough competition of Gulf Coast oysters, northeastern Atlantic oyster producers might develop a series of actions to keep their customers, such as cut in[cut in是“插入”的意思，应该用cut down吧] price, or other appealing sales methods.

Finally, even if we concede that lots of consumers begin to buy Gulf Coast oysters, it does not follow that profits will increase. The process for killing the harmful bacteria will cost those oyster producers a great number of money, and additionally the oyster producers have to pay a lot to keep oysters’ fresh appearance to attract customers [additionally后面这部分好像有点不合适，用不用那种工艺，销售商都要努力保持新鲜啊]. Without considering these crucial facets to profits, it is presumptuous to assume that the profits of Gulf Coast oyster producers will be greater.

On balance, the speaker fails to take into account those significant factors concerning what consumers care about oysters and what influences [influence] the profits.