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The arguer concludes that radio station KNOW should change its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. However, this conclusion does not provide sufficient evidence to prove the correlation between continuous news and older people, thus it is unconvincing.
To begin with, the argument simply equates the number of older people with popularity of continuous news, which is unwarranted. (晦涩的开头.equate the number of older people with popularity of到底什么意思?把老人数量增长和持续新闻的流行等同?看不懂) Firstly, there is no evidence to illuminate that older people-even though they dislike rock-and-roll, spend more time on listening news. (后半句还可以,前半句实在牵强了) Secondly, (不认为两个是平行的关系,这个问题应该更大.感觉应该放在老人问题的前面说,老人作为补充放后面) although the total number of our listeners has recently declined, it does not mean that continuous news would make success. (作者引用decline一大用意是和老人听众的增长联合起来论证听摇滚的人会少.觉得你攻击的有点偏) Perhaps, it is others programs but not rock-and-roll music loses their audiences. If so, the manager should make a comprehensive research and adopt measures to resolve this problem and improve the quality of weak ones.
In addition, the arguer (要把作者的哪个论点是建立在什么基础上明确写出.) is based on a superficial phenomenon (这种模版语句真的不要多用.否则文章看起来很便扭.一会儿冒出来两个不和文章整体风格匹配的大词.难受) that sales of recorded music in this area have decreased. But, there are several factors will lead to such result. (无语了.不要为了攻击sales records而攻击它,不要为了罗列事实而去罗列,最终都是为了攻击电台的问题啊,到现在还没出现电台)(先不要攻击它因,上来就应该直接说录制音乐跟电台音乐本质不同.说不定录制音乐销量问题就是因为人们都开始喜欢听电台音乐了) It is possible that few records have been produced in this area recently, or for recent economic recess, people spend less money on this kind of expenditure than before. Meanwhile, there is no necessary relationship between the records decline and the change of total number of our listeners. (...这句话应该放在最前面!) The rock-and-roll music provided by radio station is free for residents, but records are not. (没看出这句话怎么支持前面的论点了) In fact, most people, even if who not always go to music stores, prefer to becoming listeners. (举反例的时候不要那么绝对.一般都是提出可能性) Without an exact reason for this decline, we can not accept the conclusion.
Furthermore, a problem (用another吧,否则不通) with the argument is that the stated similarities between (不明白这个是哪里来的模版.套用有问题) our area and neighboring cities are insufficient to support the conclusion that our area also would suffer a fate similar to our neighbors. (前面废话太多.直接说别的城市情况不一定是本市情况就ok) For example, citizens of neighboring cities are more sensitive with continuous news than ours and the politic news is better product of them. On the other hand, the radio station KNOW has been working on music for such a long time and accumulated a large amount of experience. (本应用于对比的一组反例跟前面又不够成对比,一个是别的城市的情况,一个说电台一直如何如何.sigh) It is not a wise choice to give up the program of rock-and-roll music.
Finally, lacking more specific information about the survey taken just before the recent election shows, it is impossible to assess that local citizens prefer politics news to music. It is probably that citizens only choose to listen to the news about recent election shows, but will shift when the election shows are over. (首先这个点最好放在前一段前面,然后弄一个让步出来否则看上去段间结构乱.而且这个段落本身没有太多可以说的,跟上一段合并成一段落可能更好)
To sum up, this conclusion suffers from a series of fallacies. |
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