[i习作temp] Issue207 [勇往直前小组]第四次作业 by strontium023 [复制链接]

strontium023
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-24 02:12:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Rituals and ceremonies make a vital role in nowadays societies.They help define a culture as the writer claims in this issue.But I can't agree that societies or groups of people will lose themselves if leave them.

Admittedly,rituals and ceremonies help define a culture for they are the components of a culture. We always distingush one culture from another.In a cuture,rituals and ceremonies are always considered as a symbol.Take the religion for example,it is known that a Buddhist go to temple in their special days while a catholic go to church on Sundays.We can different one from another by rituals.In some easten country such as China India and Korea,they have their national special wedding clothes and ceremonies,meanwhile in most of the westen country they always wearing white clothes dress and go to church to have their wedding-ceremonies.Not only different country have different wedding rituals and ceremonies,but the bound of be an adult are different,for example in China we admitted a eighteen-year-old citizen as an adult in law,but in some other country a sixteen-year-old citizen will be considered as an adult yet.Therefore riturals and ceremonies regarded as a sign differetiate cultures.

As the claims above said,it can be prooved the importances of rituals and ceremonied in helping define a culture,but how to make sure that if leave them societies or groups of people will not have a diminished sense of who they are?First we should find out the definition of who we are.We always define ourselves with a value. It is the culture that we have been educated by for so many years ,brought us the value system of ourselves.The rituals and ceremonies are an obviously representantation of a core culture.We identify ourselves with a standard of a culture,so we always choose the way to show this culture,joining into ceremonies and maitain the rituals as a loyal religionist.Hence we can see that rituals and ceremonies influence us and also have a effect on the society and group who educated by one culture.People in these society or goup try to identify themselves and they companion through this.

However neither rituals nor ceremonies is the only content of a culture,they can not determine what one person is.There are some other factors such as language,words and history,even the new technology would affect a culture.Considering the form of culture is complex ,it will not change so easily.So a person will not so easily have a diminished sense of who they are once he is sure about it.Utimately,culture is accumulated by people,rituals and ceremonies are also created by human being.People identify themselves and recognize themselves along with they establish a culture and modify its rituals and ceremonies.People will not lose themselves unless they cease to create and think.

In sum,people create cultures and form rituals and ceremonies by years.Rituals and ceremonies can influence a person who believes this culture,but they can not determine the person who they are.A person will not have a diminished sense of who he or she is,if he never lose the creation and capability of thinking.

63"To truly understand your own culture—no matter how you define it—requires personal knowledge of at least one other

culture, one that is distinctly different from your own."
1、对比中学习能学得更深入
2、但不一定是要是另一种完全不同的文化，况且真正完全不同的文化是不存在的。

72"One can best understand the most important characteristics of a society by studying its major cities."
1、正如英雄人物那样。主要城市一定是集中最好的东西，
2、真正的了解应该是分层次，选取有代表性的，全面了解。

151"High-speed electronic communications media, such as electronic mail and television, tend to prevent meaningful and

thoughtful communication."
1、应该说人们在面对面的交流上减少了
2、但人们交往的圈子更广，交往的人更多。

196"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."
1、技术是带来了更多的问题。
2、但技术带来了更多的问题不意味着更麻烦，而是使生活越来越好，更加方便。人们只有在不断发现问题和解决问题的过程中才能不断提高。

这个暑假别样凉爽.......给自己一个全新的自己......

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高加索
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-24 17:49:09 |只看该作者

Rituals and ceremonies make a vital role in nowadays societies.They help define a culture as the writer claims in this issue.But I can't agree that societies or groups of people will lose themselves if leaveing them.

Admittedly,rituals and ceremonies help define a culture for they are the components of a culture. We always distingush one culture from another.In a cuture,rituals and ceremonies are always considered as a symbol.Take the religion for example,it is known that a Buddhist go to temple in their special days while a catholic go to church on Sundays.We can different one from another by rituals.In some easten country such as China India and Korea,they have their national special wedding clothes and ceremonies,meanwhile in most of the westen country they always wearing white clothes dress and go to church to have their wedding-ceremonies.Not only different country have different wedding rituals and ceremonies,but the bound of be an adult are different,for example in China we admitted a eighteen-year-old citizen as an adult in law,but in some other country a sixteen-year-old citizen will be considered as an adult yet.Therefore riturals and ceremonies regarded as a sign differetiate cultures.（issue的前一半句论述的挺清楚的）

As the claims above said,it can be prooved the importances of rituals and ceremonied in helping define a culture,but how to make sure that if leave them societies or groups of people will not have a diminished sense of who they are?First we should find out the definition of who we are.We always define ourselves with a value. It is the culture that we have been educated by for so many years ,brought us the value system of ourselves.The rituals and ceremonies are an obviously representantation of a core culture.We identify ourselves with a standard of a culture,so we always choose the way to show this culture,joining into ceremonies and maitain the rituals as a loyal religionist.Hence we can see that rituals and ceremonies influence us and also have a effect on the society and group who educated by one culture.People in these society or goup try to identify themselves and they companion through this.

However neither rituals nor ceremonies is the only content of a culture,they can not determine what one person is.There are some other factors such as language,words and history,even the new technology would affect a culture.Considering the form of culture is complex ,it will not change so easily.So a person will not so easily have a diminished sense of who they are once he is sure about it.Utimately,culture is accumulated by people,rituals and ceremonies are also created by human being.People identify themselves and recognize themselves along with they establish a culture and modify its rituals and ceremonies.People will not lose themselves unless they cease to create and think.

In sum,people create cultures and form rituals and ceremonies by years.Rituals and ceremonies can influence a person who believes this culture（believe this culture？）,but they can not determine the person who they are.A person will not have a diminished sense of who he or she is,if he never lose the creation and capability of thinking.

这个issue挺难写的，看了两遍也没觉得有什么有意义的建议，只能挑点小错。真的很难写啊，不过你写得还挺入情入理的~

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linshao
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板凳

发表于 2007-7-24 18:12:22 |只看该作者

Rituals and ceremonies make a vital role in nowadays societies. They help define a culture as the writer claims in this issue. But I can't agree that societies or groups of people（应该是people of societies or groups 吧） will lose themselves if leave them.
（首段比较简洁，感觉不错）
Admittedly,rituals and ceremonies help define a culture for they are the components of a culture. We always distinguish one culture from another.In a cuture,rituals and ceremonies are always considered as a symbol.Take the religion for example,it is known that a Buddhist go to temple in their special days while a catholic go to church on Sundays.We can different(应该是拼写错误吧differentiate) one from another by rituals. In some easten country(countries) such as China, India and Korea,they have their national special wedding clothes and ceremonies,meanwhile in most of the westen country they always wearing white clothes dress and go to church to have their wedding-ceremonies.Not only different country have different wedding rituals and ceremonies,but the bound of be an adult are different,for example in China we admitted a eighteen-year-old citizen as an adult in law,but in some other country a sixteen-year-old citizen will be considered as an adult yet.(这个例子和rituals and ceremonies好像没什么关系吧)Therefore riturals and ceremonies regarded as a sign differetiate cultures.
（这段论述不错，论证还是比较充分的）
As the claims above said,it can be proved（不用被动语态直接prove就行了） the importances of rituals and ceremonied in helping define a culture,but how to make sure that if leave them societies or groups of people will not have a diminished（这和首段观点不吻合吧，首段说leave them will not lose themselves，现在反而讨论怎么补救，偏了） sense of who they are?First we should find out the definition of who we are.We always define ourselves with a value. It is the culture that we have been educated by for so many years ,brought us the value system of ourselves.The rituals and ceremonies are an（去掉）obviously representations of a core culture.We identify ourselves with a standard of a culture,so we always choose the way to show this culture,joining into ceremonies and maitain the rituals as a loyal religionist.Hence we can see that rituals and ceremonies influence us and also have a effect on the society and group who educated by one culture.People in these society or goup try to identify themselves and they companion through this.
（这段论述很不清，后半段对首句没什么支撑作用吧，感觉偏了）
However neither rituals nor ceremonies is the only content of a culture,they can not determine what one person is.There are some other factors such as language,words and history,even the new technology would affect a culture.Considering the form of culture is complex ,it will not change so easily.So a person will not so easily have a diminished sense of who they are once he is sure about it. Ultimately, culture is accumulate by people,rituals and ceremonies are also created by human being.People identify themselves and recognize themselves along with they establish a culture and modify its rituals and ceremonies.People will not lose themselves unless they cease to create and think.（这段比较好，论述清晰，感觉很有新意）

In sum,people create cultures and form rituals and ceremonies by years.Rituals and ceremonies can influence a person who believes in this culture,but they can not determine the person who they are.A person will not have a diminished sense of who he or she is,if he never lose the creation and capability of thinking.
结尾感觉不错，简洁有力。
总的来说全文论证不错，除了有点偏之外，还是很好的。进步很快。

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