[a习作temp] argument26 [0710G突击先锋小组]第5次作业_banyanweng [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-26 11:27:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：ARGUMENT26 - The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.

"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
字数：574 用时：00:35:00 日期：2007-7-26上午 10:28:50

提纲：
Steel乐团的比赛得奖，并不能说明它真的进步了，也许它以前更棒。即使成功了，可能有其他因素导致它的成功，而不是Charles。
两校情况不同，即使Charles能领到好Steel，也未必能领导好Saluda。
总结：必须考察Charles的真正能力，以及是否有更好的候选人。

The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By mentioning that the school band from Steel City High has been doing a good job in the past five years, the argument for hiring Steel City High's music director Mr. Charles Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system seems logical.

However, the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda is failing to consider other possible alternatives to the performance of the school band of the Steel City High. The music may have contributed very little to the success of the school band. It is mentioned in the argument that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years, and this improvement may be the real reason for the success of the school band. In addition, the school may have specially recruited students who are proficient in some kind of musical instruments to strengthen the school band. It's also possible that the school band has been well known for decades and has a good tradition to train to collaborate and to perform. Moreover, the music director may have actually negatively affected the success of the school band. Perhaps the Steel City High performed even better in the early years, and had won national or even international competitions. If so, the school band may has degraded in the past five years due to the music director’s mislead. Finally, the music director’s job is to handle the music education of all students in the school. Maybe he appointed a special person to take charge of the daily affairs of the school band and he seldom interferes with the issue of the band. If so, the success of the school band has little to do with the ability of the chairperson.

Even if Mr. Charles Schade is a successful music director in Steel City High, and is a successful music director, we can not arrive at the conclusion that he can also do a good job in planning and directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. They do not know if the situations in these two schools are the same. First, the students in Steel City High may be easier to teach. They may have much more chance to get in touch with music than students in Saluda school outside of class. They may live in communities with a lot of music parties and they attend the party very often. Also, they may come from richer families and many of the parents would like to buy and teach them to play musical instruments. So even if Mr. Charles Schade is good at solving the problem in Steel City High, he may still lack the experience and ability to solve the problems in Saluda school system. The statement provides no evidence that he can do the job well, as well as that there are no other candidates who are more competent than him.

Overall, the reasoning behind hiring Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system seems logical. However, before any final decisions are made about the candidate, the chairperson should investigate the working ability of Mr. Schade to find out whther he is competent for the job. They should see if their are some more competent candidates.

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发表于 2007-7-27 14:45:14 |只看该作者

题目：ARGUMENT26 - The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
字数：574 用时：00:35:00 日期：2007-7-26上午 10:28:50
提纲：
Steel乐团的比赛得奖，并不能说明它真的进步了，也许它以前更棒。即使成功了，可能有其他因素导致它的成功，而不是Charles。
两校情况不同，即使Charles能领到好Steel，也未必能领导好Saluda。
总结：必须考察Charles的真正能力，以及是否有更好的候选人。
The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. By mentioning that the school band from Steel City High has been doing a good job in the past five years, the argument for hiring Steel City High's music director Mr. Charles Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system seems logical.
However, the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda is failing to consider other possible alternatives to the performance of the school band of the Steel City High. The music may have contributed very little to the success of the school band. It is mentioned in the argument that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years, and this improvement may be the real reason for the success of the school band讨论他因导致成功，但我觉得这个他因找的不太合适。题目提到facilities和instruments是为了表彰Charles的另一个功绩，因为出现了In addition，这个也是一个可以提出质疑的地方。. In addition, the school may have specially recruited students who are proficient in some kind of musical instruments to strengthen the school band. It's also possible that the school band has been well known for decades and has a good tradition to train to collaborate and to perform. Moreover, the music director may have actually negatively affected the success of the school band. Perhaps the Steel City High performed even better in the early years, and had won national or even international competitions. If so, the school band may has degraded in the past five years due to the music director’s mislead. Finally, the music director’s job is to handle the music education of all students in the school. Maybe he appointed a special person to take charge of the daily affairs of the school band and he seldom interferes with the issue of the band. If so, the success of the school band has little to do with the ability of the chairperson.
这段包含了两个意思，可以分成两段，结构更清晰一些
Even if Mr. Charles Schade is a successful music director in Steel City High, and is a successful music director, we can not arrive at the conclusion that he can also do a good job in planning and directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. They do not know if the situations in these two schools are the same. First, the students in Steel City High may be easier to teach. They may have much more chance to get in touch with music than students in Saluda school outside of class. They may live in communities with a lot of music parties and they attend the party very often. Also, they may come from richer families and many of the parents would like to buy and teach them to play musical instruments. So even if Mr. Charles Schade is good at solving the problem in Steel City High, he may still lack the experience and ability to solve the problems in Saluda school system. The statement provides no evidence that he can do the job well, as well as that there are no other candidates who are more competent than him.
Overall, the reasoning behind hiring Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system seems logical. However, before any final decisions are made about the candidate, the chairperson should investigate the working ability of Mr. Schade to find out whtherwhether he is competent for the job. They should see if theirthere are some more competent candidates.

惭愧自己功力尚浅，面对楼主的文章，一遍读下来只剩下称赞。问题抓的很准确，逻辑清晰，论证有道，找了好半天才挑出一点自认为不妥的地方^_^

Practice makes perfect
^_^

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