[a习作temp] argument144 [0710G　戴三个表冲刺小组] 第5次作业 [复制链接]

nifei
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-30 01:07:31 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

argument144 [0710G　戴三个表冲刺小组] 第3次作业
144According to apoll of 200 charitable organizations, donations of money to nonprofit groupsincreased by nearly 25 percent last year, though not all charities gainedequally. Religious groups gained the most (30 percent), followed byenvironmental groups (23 percent), whereas educational institutions experiencedonly a very small increase in donations (3 percent). This poll indicates thatmore people are willing and able to give money to charities but that fundingfor education is not a priority for most people. These differences in donationrates must result from the perception that educational institutions are less inneed of donations than are other kinds of institutions.

提纲：
层层让步；
它的逻辑：因为对200个样本的调查表明教育的捐赠增长不如其他的捐赠，就得出教育不需要捐赠的结论。
1．得到的与实际需求不一定相符合，所以用what they gained 来衡量 how much they need就是没有道理的；
2．而且，教育的增长不如其他的增长，不能说明教育得到的捐赠就比其他的捐赠少，可能本身就很多呢；
3．就算在这个poll中教育的捐赠比其他的捐赠少，也不能说明整个社会对教育的捐赠就少了。
According to a poll which shows thateducation is not a priority for most people than other kinds of institutions,the argument conclude that educational institutions are less in need ofdonations than other kinds of institutions. However, this conclusion is notsupported by the facts the author displayed because of the lack of sufficientones.
Firstly, the argument estimates the need ofeducational institutions by the attraction they have obtained, which may notshow the real requirement, too hastily. In fact, there is no relation betweenwhat is needed and what is gained. Maybe some schools are quite short in moneybut this fact is not noticed by the society now. This assumption can alsoresult in a poor quantity of donations to the educational institutions.
Secondly, even if the donation inclinationof people has something to do with the need of money, the percentage of increasing,which are the only data the argument use, cannot indicate the real quantity ofdonations the charitable organizations had accepted. The percentage is only aproportion of the increase over the base. The donations that the educationalgroups had gained can be greater than any other groups investigated in thepoll. Thus, the data that is displayed in the argument does not contribute tothe conclusion.
Thirdly, even if the educationalinstitutions have less quantity of donations than others and the quantitygained depends on the need of the institutions, the argument does not show thatall the groups are under the same circumstance. Many other factors besides theinclination of people can influence the money donated to the groups, such as theadvertisements, the organization of the charity activities and the individualor corporation referred. The information gained from the poll is so vague thatthe conclusion is not reasonable.
There are some other logical mistakes inthe argument and the author should give some more efficient data and facts tosupport his opinion.

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斯普特尼克
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-31 03:32:44 |只看该作者

字依然是……
很大啊！
is it called bull man wind meal?
(好冷的笑话……==b)

明早起来给你改，实在困得头疼，sorry

144
According to apoll of200 charitable organizations, donations of money to nonprofit groups increased by nearly 25 percent last year, though not all charities gained equally. Religious groups gained the most (30 percent),followed by environmental groups (23 percent), whereas educational institutions experienced only a very small increase in donations (3percent). This poll indicates that more people are willing and able to give money to charities but that funding for education is not a priority for most people. These differences in donation rates must result from the perception that educational institutions are less in need of donations than are other kinds of institutions.

提纲：
层层让步；
它的逻辑：因为对200个样本的调查表明教育的捐赠增长不如其他的捐赠，就得出教育不需要捐赠的结论。
1．得到的与实际需求不一定相符合，所以用what they gained 来衡量 how much they need就是没有道理的；
2．而且，教育的增长不如其他的增长，不能说明教育得到的捐赠就比其他的捐赠少，可能本身就很多呢；
3．就算在这个poll中教育的捐赠比其他的捐赠少，也不能说明整个社会对教育的捐赠就少了。
调整一下可能更好？

我是这么写的~
1增长少不见得基数少
2这些人捐得少，不见得别人捐得少
3即使整体都少，那可能本身确实资金雄厚，用不着那么多，不是观念差异，而是存在的事实

According to athe poll which shows that the education is not apriority for most people than other kinds of institutions,the argument conclude that educational institutions are less in need of donations than other kinds of institutions. However, this conclusion is not supported by the facts the author displayeddisplays because of the lack of sufficient ones指代不明确.

Firstly, the argument estimates the need of educational institutions by the attraction they have obtained, which may not shows the real requirement, too hastilyhasty. In fact, there is no relation between what is needed and what is gained. Maybe some schools are quite short inof money but this fact is not noticed by the society now. This assumption can also result in a poor quantity of donations to the educational institutions.

Secondly, even if the donation inclinationthe inclination to donate of people has something to do主语颠倒了，应该是the people with the inclination to donate has something...... with the need of money, the increased percentage of increasing(删),which areis the only data the argument use, cannot indicate the real quantity of donations the charitable organizations had accepted. The percentage is only a proportion of the increase over the base. The donations that the educational groups had gained can beis greater than any other groups which are investigated in the poll. Thus, the data that is displayed in the argument does not contribute to the conclusion.

Thirdly, even if(尽量减少重复使用) the educational institutions have less quantity of donations than others and the quantity gained depends on the need of the institutions, the argument does not show that all the groups are under the same circumstance. Many other factors besidesbeside the inclination of people can influence the money donated to the groups,such as the advertisements, the organization of the charity activities and the individual or corporation referred. The information gained from the poll is so vague that the conclusion is not reasonable.

There are some other logical mistakes in the argument and the author should give some more efficient data and facts to support his opinion.
结论太单薄了

[ 本帖最后由斯普特尼克于 2007-7-31 18:33 编辑 ]

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