[a习作temp] argument200『勇往直前小组』第八次作业 [复制链接]

joycening
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-28 05:58:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

argument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

In this argument, the author recommends that dentists should target the male consumer and stress on both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous and suffering patients. To support this recommendation, the author cites statistics which shows more men than women faint while going to see dentist as the evidence of higher possibility of men to be distressed during the dental work. However, the argument seems to be plausible. Further examination will prove it to be untenable.

A threshold problem of this argument is the reliability of the statistics based on which the author claims that men are much more likely to faint during dental work. However, the author proves no assurance to show the statistics to be credible, thus leaving open the possibility that there are only ten men and ten women are referred. For that matter, the sizes of people who are surveyed are too small to be persuasive. It is also likely that people in the survey are all from the same area, which is not reprehensive of the whole population who are suffering from teeth problem in general. Without information about the size and the reliability of the statistics, the argument cannot be accepted as a warrented one.

Furthermore, even assuming the statistics is reliable, there is no evidence can establish the causal relation between the fact that men are more likely to faint than women do and the indication that men are more likely to be distressed during dental work than women do. Perhaps the dental problems which men are suffering are ones that can cause more pain. If so, men might faint due to the great pain, instead of the higher possibility of being distressed. Lacking further analysis of other possible cause of men's faint, the causal relation between the two events the author assumes is totally unreasonable.

Finally, the author's recommendation of turning to advertisements to attract patients has not proved to be the most effective way to achieve the result as the author expects, let alone the only one, thus leaving the possibility that many patients do not notice the advertisements at all. For that matter, this recommendation seems to be a poor advice. It is also possible that people nowadays put more emphasis on the proficiency of their dentists, in which case, the certificate of dentists turns out to be a more powerful way to attract customers. No further evidence is offered to show the advertisements are valid, we cannot accept the recommendation.

In sum, the author fails to support the recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide information about the credibility of the statistics, while ruling out other possible causes of men's faint. Further details about the effectiveness of the advertisements can make the argument more persuasive.

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269750640
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-28 22:02:27 |只看该作者

argument200『勇往直前小组』第八次作业

argument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

In this argument, the author recommends that dentists should target the male consumer and stress on both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous and suffering patients. To support this recommendation, the author cites statistics which shows more men than women faint while going to see dentist as the evidence of higher possibility of men to be distressed during the dental work. However, the argument seems to be plausible. Further examination will prove it to be untenable.(观点指出了但却未有进一步的证实，要是能够展开来说就好了)

A threshold problem of this argument is the reliability of the statistics based on which the author claims that men are much more likely to faint during dental work. However, the author proves no assurance to show the statistics to be credible, thus leaving open the possibility that there are only ten men and ten women are referred. （这点我很喜欢）For that matter, the sizes of people who are surveyed are too small to be persuasive. It is also likely that people in the survey are all from the same area, which is not reprehensive of the whole population who are suffering from teeth problem in general. Without information about the size and the reliability of the statistics, the argument cannot be accepted as a warrented one.（似乎举两个反例就更好了）

Furthermore, even assuming the statistics is reliable, there is no evidence can establish the causal relation between the fact that men are more likely to faint than women do and the indication that men are more likely to be distressed during dental work than women do. Perhaps the dental problems which men are suffering are ones that can cause more pain. If so, men might faint due to the great pain, instead of the higher possibility of being distressed. Lacking further analysis of other possible cause of men's faint, the causal relation between the two events the author assumes is totally unreasonable.

Finally, the author's recommendation of turning to advertisements to attract patients has not proved to be the most effective way to achieve the result as the author expects, let alone the only one, thus leaving the possibility that many patients do not notice the advertisements at all. For that matter, this recommendation seems to be a poor advice. It is also possible that people nowadays put more emphasis on the proficiency of their dentists, in which case, the certificate of dentists turns out to be a more powerful way to attract customers. No further evidence is offered to show the advertisements are valid, we cannot accept the recommendation.

In sum, the author fails to support the recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide information about the credibility of the statistics, while ruling out other possible causes of men's faint. Further details about the effectiveness of the advertisements can make the argument more persuasive.

你的Ａ　我是需要学习的，实在不知道该如何改　总的来讲是不错的，要是对于每段的论述都能够展开来说就更加好了！

ISSUE的精髓－－将辩论进行到底

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-719344-1-1.html

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板凳

发表于 2007-7-29 07:27:13 |只看该作者

Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

In this argument, the author recommends that dentists should target the male consumer and stress on both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous and suffering patients. To support this recommendation, the author cites statistics which shows more men than women faint while going to see dentist as the evidence of higher possibility of men to be distressed during the dental work. However, the argument seems to be plausible. Further examination will prove it to be untenable.

A threshold problem of this argument is the reliability of the statistics based on which the author claims that men are much more likely to faint during dental work. However, the author proves no assurance to show the statistics to be credible, thus leaving open the possibility that there are only ten men and ten women are referred. For that matter, the sizes of people who are surveyed are too small to be persuasive. It is also likely that people in the survey are all from the same area, which is not reprehensive of the whole population who are suffering from teeth problem in general. Without information about the size and the reliability of the statistics, the argument cannot be accepted as a warrented one.(这段论述很充分哦,不过是不是可以和上一段合并呢?)

Furthermore, even assuming the statistics is reliable, there is no evidence can establish the causal relation between the fact that men are more likely to faint than women do and the indication that men are more likely to be distressed during dental work than women do. Perhaps the dental problems which men are suffering are ones that can cause more pain. If so, men might faint due to the great pain, instead of the higher possibility of being distressed. Lacking further analysis of other possible cause of men's faint, the causal relation between the two events the author assumes is totally unreasonable.

Finally, the author's recommendation of turning to advertisements to attract patients has not proved to be the most effective way to achieve the result as the author expects, let alone the only one, thus leaving the possibility that many patients do not notice the advertisements at all. For that matter, this recommendation seems to be a poor advice. It is also possible that people nowadays put more emphasis on the proficiency of their dentists, in which case, the certificate of dentists turns out to be a more powerful way to attract customers. No further evidence is offered to show the advertisements are valid, we cannot accept the recommendation.

In sum, the author fails to support the recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide information about the credibility of the statistics, while ruling out other possible causes of men's faint. Further details about the effectiveness of the advertisements can make the argument more persuasive.
小结:总体来说组长的作文很值得学习,顶一下.

这个暑假别样凉爽.......给自己一个全新的自己......

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地板

发表于 2007-7-30 08:01:11 |只看该作者

issue138
"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."

Mistakes, from which we can learn much lessons不需要, can serve as a way to discovery and progress. Success, from which we can get enlightened and suggested, can also lead a way to discovery or progress. Both of them are the precise experiences or reference of us, which play a crucial role in the further development in the current world. However, mistakes are not always valid to advise people and thus prevent progress and further advancement. In my view, mistake is by no means the only approach, as well as not always the most effective approach to discovery or progress.

Admittedly, we learn a lot from mistakes of both ourselves and others. The reference of others' mistakes can prevent the possible unpleasant results from turning out. Nowadays, enterprises have put more emphasis on the culture of themselves. This is mainly due to the lessons of Enron, which once had been the leader in business world but collapsed because of corrupted enterprise culture. As a result, a lot of companies succeeded due to a unique and favorable culture which put more stress on the environment inside the entity. Culture was found to be the key factor serving the good performance of a company, which was not noticed in the past. The experiences of mistakes of one's own can also prevent the reoccurrence of the same problem in the future. One, who has fallen down in a certain place, will be much more careful when passes there again, thus reducing the possibility of further mistake.

Apart from mistakes—the passive experiences, the positive experiences can also give birth to discovery or progress. Edison, one of the most famous inventors who we are familiar with, succeeded in the invention of bulbs. It is not only his invention that promoted the whole world into a new one with brightness, but also his experiences of the invention, with great patience and persistence, that enlightened us to move on while in difficulties.（这个例子是说爱迪生的事例给了人们在困难中的启迪,你想证明的是，正面经验可以带来发现和进步，那我觉得爱迪生的例子不重要，重要的是爱迪生的例子和进步之间的联系，不应该最后只用一句话就一笔带过的） The greatest event in the beginning of the twentieth century--the Industry Revolution also proved to be a complete and profound success, from which brought the appearance of numbers of new machines and revolutionarily progress. The succeed of the revolution, so meaningful as it is, demonstrated us that the world can be much more efficient thanks to these new inventions and that science is of the most productivity, which serves as a golden rule in the following years. （说工业革命的例子我觉得和上面的问题一样）
或者说你想表达的是正是因为爱迪生的成功和工业革命的成功社会才得以进步？这样就说明了成功也可以带来进步
Just as the success sometimes would prevent a person from improving because of self-satisfaction, failure, or mistakes can also reduced to obstacle to discovery or progress. One, once fallen down in a certain places can gain progress only if he or she has the courage to pass there again, thus the more attention will enable his or her successful command of the situation. However, what if one, as a Chinese saying goes that a person avoid eating once being struck by food, once falling down there will avoid passing there again, which way may lead to bright future? In such condition, mistakes, instead of promoting, will hold on people further development.
（失败可以产生反作用可是我觉得失败是否产生反作用和你要证明的主题失败不是唯一让人们成功和进步的办法是没有关系的，这个命题能说道的可能是还有其他的办法可以让人们进步 However, mistakes are not always valid to advise people and thus prevent progress and further advancement. In my view, mistake is by no means the only approach, as well as not always the most effective approach to discovery or progress.
如果要表达你的想法的话我觉得你的主题句应该这样来提
失败不仅有时候和成功没有关系（有其他因素导致成功），并且还可能产生负作用
In sum, on one hand, while through mistakes, certain discovery and progress can be achieved, it is by no means the only way, with the success of a person making the same effect. On the other hand, due to the possibility of mistakes' failure to function as a way to development, people should be more careful when referring to the once mistakes. Mistakes are only used to remind people when they take action in the future. People should regard them in a proper way thus not losing confidence and not missing the opportunity to further success as well.

argument200『勇往直前小组』第八次作业
argument200
Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

In this argument, the author recommends that dentists should target the male consumer and stress on both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous and suffering patients. To support this recommendation, the author cites statistics which shows more men than women faint while going to see dentist as the evidence of higher possibility of men to be distressed during the dental work. However, the argument seems to be plausible. Further examination will prove it to be untenable.

A threshold problem of this argument is the reliability of the statistics based on which the author claims that men are much more likely to faint during dental work. However, the author proves no assurance to show the statistics to be credible, thus leaving open the possibility that there are only ten men and ten women are referred. For that matter, the sizes of people who are surveyed are too small to be persuasive. It is also likely that people in the survey are all from the same area, which is not reprehensive of the whole population who are suffering from teeth problem in general. Without information about the size and the reliability of the statistics, the argument cannot be accepted as a warrented one.（个人觉得事实不能够被批判，能批判的应该是逻辑过程）

Furthermore, even assuming the statistics is reliable, there is no evidence can establish the causal relation between the fact that men are more likely to faint than women do and the indication that men are more likely to be distressed during dental work than women do. Perhaps the dental problems which men are suffering are ones that can cause more pain. If so, men might faint due to the great pain, instead of the higher possibility of being distressed. Lacking further analysis of other possible cause of men's faint, the causal relation between the two events the author assumes is totally unreasonable.

Finally, the author's recommendation of turning to advertisements to attract patients has not proved to be the most effective way to achieve the result as the author expects, let alone the only one, thus leaving the possibility that many patients do not notice the advertisements at all. For that matter, this recommendation seems to be a poor advice. It is also possible that people nowadays put more emphasis on the proficiency of their dentists, in which case, the certificate of dentists turns out to be a more powerful way to attract customers. No further evidence is offered to show the advertisements are valid, we cannot accept the recommendation.
（广告的有效性？这个问题我有点小的疑问，作者的结论是说为了吸引病人，我们应该针对….做广告，广告有效是什么意思呢，我觉得就是我们针对…做广告这样是有效的，这样说的话感觉你前面批的都可以放在这一段，比如，如果男人不比女人容易痛苦，那么广告也是无效的，所有的批驳点都可以被这点套进来，感觉广告无效性只是作者结论换了一个说法）
In sum, the author fails to support the recommendation. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide information about the credibility of the statistics, while ruling out other possible causes of men's faint. Further details about the effectiveness of the advertisements can make the argument more persuasive.

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