[i习作temp] issue136 [戮力同心小组] 第七次作业 by liyi2321 [复制链接]

liyi2321
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发表于 2007-8-2 17:51:46 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

issue136: The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.

In the development of human and society, we often confront with many dilemmas and we must make a choice. Do we have choice when we face these difficulties? In my perspective, with the improvement of the science and society, we have more chances to choose towards most of the dilemmas and the circumstance that we have no choice reduces gradually.

From the childhood to adults, everybody has to choose nearly every day. The improvement of the people's ideology and the science ensure that we have the chance to choose towards difficulties. In the past, our parents often told us that we must try our best to study. Going to universities is the only choice of us to obtain success. If we failed, we would lead a poor life consequentially. But all the things changes now. Universities are not the only choice of us. We can do business or open a company of our own. More graduates from high school choose to initiate a corporation and also can obtain success in their life. The change should contribute to the transformation of the philosophy. The academic skill is no longer the only standard to appraise a people. Many other skills will also lead you to success. Moreover, there are many illnesses which cannot be cure and the patient must choose death in the past. But nowadays, many serious illnesses such as cancer can be cure. There are many kinds of anticancer drugs such as Paclitaxel which have been discovered. Even the gene therapy of cancer is in experiment and will appear in clinic in the future. Death will not be the only choice of the patient who suffers cancer. Modern science solves many problems which treat as dreams in the past. We have more choice when we face some difficulties, which should attribute to the development of science.

What is more, the government and the law are improving to ensure our rights to choose. The autocracy and tyrant had replaced by the democracy. In this regime, we have more rights to choose in our daily life. A good example to illustrate this is the Antitrust Laws in the United States. The case about the America Telephone & Telegraph Corporation is very famous in the Americans. In the 1980s, The AT&T Corporation monopolized the market of communication. But its service was not good and the price of mobile communication was very high. The civilians wanted to possess a cell phone but they had to choose the AT&T Corp to offer mobile communication service to them. At last, the supreme court of the United States arbitrated that the AT&T Corp offended the Antitrust Laws and sentenced them to split into several small company. Because of this, the automobile communication became popular in the United States gradually. It best indicates that in the regime of democracy, people have more choice in their daily life. Just as the Antitrust Laws ensure us have more rights to choose when we consume.

However, it is true that we have the chance to choose towards most of the situations. But we should realize that we cannot choose only by our wish. For one thing, the resources are limited now and cannot meet the needs of everybody. The famous universities such as Harvard or Princeton are a dream for all of us. But we also should pay a lot of attempt to enroll in these famous universities because the education resources of these famous universities are limited. For another thing, absolute free rights will cause chaos in the society. Our choice should be legal and cannot harm to other people.

To conclusion, the dilemma which we have no choice to solve is very rare and will become rarer in the future. Ensuring the rights to choose is an important mission of our society.

大致写作提纲：
1  从个人角度讲，科学的进步和人们意识形态的转变让我们在更多的事情上有了选择的余地
2  从社会和法律角度讲，他们保证了我们有选择的权利
3  但是，选择不是绝对自由的。

整体感觉：例子在写之前准备得很充分，但是写的有点慢。。有些地方还是没有克服边想边写的毛病。

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Lsofia
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-3 11:54:22 |只看该作者

In[With] the development of human and society, we often confront with many dilemmas and we must make a choice. Do we have choice[choices] when we face these difficulties? In my perspective, with the improvement of the science and society, we have more chances to choose towards most of the dilemmas and the circumstance that we have no choice reduces gradually.

From the childhood to adults, everybody has to choose nearly every day. The improvement of the people's ideology and the science[提了好多随着...的发展，第一段就有两个，有点审美疲劳哦] ensure that we have the chance to choose towards difficulties. In the past, our parents often told us that we must try our best to study. Going to universities is the only choice of us to obtain success.【实际上还是有选择的，不足以充当论据】 If we failed, we would lead a poor life consequentially. But all the things changes now. Universities are not the only choice of us. We can do business or open a company of our own. More graduates from high school choose to initiate a corporation and also can obtain success in their life. The change should contribute to the transformation of the philosophy. The academic skill is no longer the only standard to appraise a people. Many other skills will also lead you to success.【这个例子有漏洞，支持度不够】 Moreover, there are many illnesses which cannot be cure and the patient must choose【have no choice but to wait for】 death in the past. But nowadays, many serious illnesses such as cancer can be cure. There are many kinds of anticancer drugs such as Paclitaxel which have been discovered. Even the gene therapy of cancer is in experiment and will appear in clinic in the future. Death will not be the only choice of the patient who suffers cancer. Modern science solves many problems which treat as dreams in the past. 【治疗这个例子用的很好】We have more choice when we face some difficulties, which should attribute to the development of science.

What is more, the government and the law are improving to ensure our rights to choose. The autocracy and tyrant[具体？] had 【been】replaced by the democracy. In this regime, we have more rights to choose in our daily life. A good example to illustrate this is the Antitrust Laws in the United States. The case about the America Telephone & Telegraph Corporation is very famous in the Americans. In the 1980s, The AT&T Corporation monopolized the market of communication. But its service was not good and the price of mobile communication was very high. The civilians wanted to possess a cell phone but they had to choose the AT&T Corp to offer mobile communication service to them. At last, the supreme court of the United States arbitrated that the AT&T Corp offended the Antitrust Laws and sentenced them to [be]split into several small company[companies]. Because of this, the automobile communication became popular in the United States gradually. It best indicates that in the regime of democracy, people have more choice in their daily life. Just as the Antitrust Laws ensure us have more rights to choose when we consume. 例子稍微有点长，精简一下就OK拉

However, it is true that we have the chance to choose towards most of the situations. But we should realize that we cannot choose only by our wish.【转折后应该是“有些情况不能选择”把，衔接上有点唐突】 For one thing, the resources are limited now and cannot meet the needs of everybody. The famous universities such as Harvard or Princeton are a dream for all of us. 【大牛除外哈】But we also should pay a lot of attempt to enroll in these famous universities because the education resources of these famous universities are limited. （For another thing, absolute free rights will cause chaos in the society. Our choice should be legal and cannot harm to other people.）【这一句不错哦】
总的而言，这一段的说服力不够大，感觉有点跑

To conclusion, the dilemma which we have no choice to solve is very rare and will become rarer in the future. Ensuring the rights to choose is an important mission of our society. 末段只是把前文总结了一下，能不能再适当升华下？

第一次给组长改，嘿嘿，比较仔细，所以不要被满篇的批改给吓着了阿，其实还不错拉，只是有些例子的选取有待商榷喽:loveliness:

我感觉这题题干太少，又是哲学类，有点难度，自己写的就不太好，所以给你思路上的建议可能也不成熟，要批判的接受哈！

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