[i习作temp] Issue2 我的第一篇GRE作文 [复制链接]

dspanda
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发表于 2007-8-18 16:31:13 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

各位大侠：我初来乍到，望各位不吝赐教！在下感激不尽！
题目是：
2.Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.

我的提纲是（有些简略）：
TS: Competition is more beneficial, but not ultimately.
a. Competition stimulate the progress of the whole society.
b. Competition help everyone establish active philosophy.
c. Competition which is too serious make people feel overwrought and destroy the harmony of the world.

我的作文如下：
I agree with the speaker’s view to the extent that competition is for the most time more beneficial than detrimental to society. But which I couldn’t accept is the word ‘ultimately’. Since competition, in a sense, is a double-bladed sword to both the individual and the society.

To every single person, competition assists to establish active philosophy which is determinative to the entire life and career of an individual. We can clearly tell the difference of the life status between the citizens in metropolises and the villagers who lives in outlying areas. The former, living a more competitive life, are characterized by smart mind, better capacity of communication and ambition of self-accomplishment. On the contrary, the latter are dulled by the plaint and changeless idyll. For the reason which is appreciated by most of us that one of the significances of life is the attainment of self-esteem, the contrast above clearly shows the necessity of competition to individuals. Since the society is composed by single persons, the above advantage of competition to individuals demonstrated the beneficial factor of the competition to the society.

Convert our perspective to a higher level and take the society as a whole, we can easily get the conclusion that competition contributes a lot to the vividness and prosperity of an economic system. A compelling illustration is the market economy. Compared with all the other economic systems in the human history, the market economy is no doubt the most vigor one, in respect that it introduces competition. This kind of system pursue higher quality of the merchandise meanwhile the lower price, which seems paradoxical but indeed pulse both the science and the management field to create inventive substance or mechanism to meet the acute need. New inventions in turn rise the vibrancy of the market. That constitutes a benign circulation.

On the other hand, competition does raise a series of social problems. A survey of the citizens in major cities of China shows that, more than 80% people complained too heavy load of career and life. When asked where did this kind of feeling come from, 60% chose ‘competition’. Struggling with competitors every day calls for highly-tensed nerve, that over wears people easily. Besides pressure of career, more employees in big companies also complained the tension of relationship with colleagues. Due to the competition between employees, one can seldom gain friendship from officemate, just jealousness and doubtfulness instead. Someone may say that the example above only involves a small part of population, however, competitions between different countries sometimes lead much more influential aftermaths which are unignorable. Last century, the famous arms race between two of the super nations in the world, the USA and the Soviet, nearly precipitated another world war. The race exhausted the exchequers and brought depression to both country. All these examples illustrate that too severe competition and misleading competition are the elements which destroy the harmony relationship between individuals and between countries. If these goes too far, it will ineluctably result in the collapse of the whole society.

According to the statement above, we can come to the conclusion that it is the moderate competition that have the capacity to help people to gain smarter mind, to struggle with difficulties, to establish active philosophy. And it is the temperate competition that can boom the economy, can maintain the stable progress of the market. To this extent, competition is beneficial to society. But competition beyond control always raise problems. The most effective approach to diminish the detrimental influence of competition is to call on the whole society to restrict it with mortal and legal standard.

[ 本帖最后由 dspanda 于 2007-8-18 16:34 编辑 ]