[i习作temp] issue144 0806Gstrive作文小组第二次作业 [复制链接]

sharkliver
UID: 2308154

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 137
注册时间: 2007-3-2
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2008-2-23 23:13:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 144：It is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value

In the fields of art, who gives society something of lasting value, the artist or the critic? The author believes the latter and I strongly agree with his/her view. As a matter of fact, the significance of critics only exerts on a superficial level, which has nothing to do with the internal value of art.

The first reason that contributes to my inclination originates from the role art acts in our hearts. Those masterpieces are created by artists to arouse resonance among the audience, which alters from person to person on account of different perspectives and backgrounds. That is exactly why art is so fantastic and serves as an inalienable part of civilization. However, the interference of critics, especially those so-called experts who own much influence, is bound to threaten the fantasy of art. They will impose their own ideas and perspectives with cultural biases and subjective eyes on the artistic works and force the public to appreciate those subconsciously in the critics’ way. This situation happens again and again in China, where students in the literature class often have to memorize the view of some influential critics about and article instead of analyzing and feeling what does the real author want to tell. Under these circumstances, critics function as a mold building our distinct thoughts into identical ones. Even more ridiculous, nobody would care whether the mold is accurate or correct enough.

Some assertions supporting the importance of critics might raise that the feedback of critics will become beneficial suggestions for the artists and thereby they can improve their works effectively. This seemingly plausible point of view completely misunderstands the production process of art--artists sense the circumstances, and reflect their sensations with sophisticated skills in their productions. Having realized this, we should come close to the essence of art—an artistic work is the natural production of passion and inspiration of the artist. The conception of free thought is of paramount importance in the field of art. On the other hand, if artists had to collect responses of critics and analyze them first, then began to create based on these considerations, the whole working process would turn out to be the assembly-line with standard protocols and alleged “matters need attention”.

It is also worth mentioning that history has witnessed numerous artistic geniuses, who exceed far away from their cotemporaries, criticized and ostracized by the conservative critics. The most appropriate example involves the story of Vincent Van Gogh. His paintings are characterized by thick brush strokes, brilliant colors, and jagged lines, through which Van Gogh expressed his emotional response to his subjects. But that style was excluded by the mainstream of painting at his time, which emphasizes the accurate description of subjects. Van Gogh had a tough life, full of ups and downs, and ending in tragedy with only one painting sold before his death. Furthermore, critics in a few societies are hired by governments to fight against opposite views and become the tools of oppression of thoughts.

Admittedly, critics might contribute to the understanding of artistic works on a superficial level. They can teach the public some basic skills about art such as the combination of pigments, lines or notes, and how to make them lively. However, this job is not capable of endowing us with eternal value. That is what only artists can do.

[ 本帖最后由 sharkliver 于 2008-2-23 23:20 编辑 ]

0 0

使用道具举报

mabingke
UID: 2457486

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 89
注册时间: 2008-2-11
精华: 0
帖子: 0

沙发

发表于 2008-2-25 20:01:32 |只看该作者

In the fields of art, who gives society something of lasting value, the artist or the critic? The author believes the latter and I strongly agree with his/her view. As a matter of fact, the significance of critics only exerts on a superficial level, which has nothing to do with the internal value of art.

The first reason that contributes to my inclination originates from the role art acts in our hearts. Those masterpieces are created by artists to arouse resonance among the audience, which alters from person to person on account of different perspectives and backgrounds. That is exactly why art is so fantastic and serves as an inalienable part of civilization. However, the interference of critics, especially those so-called experts who own much influence, is bound to threaten the fantasy of art. They will （will表示将来要发生的！也不是表示意愿呢）impose their own ideas and perspectives with cultural biases and subjective eyes on the artistic works and force the public to appreciate those subconsciously in the critics’ way. This situation happens again and again in China, where students in the literature class often have to memorize the view of some influential critics about and article （去掉about an article吧，显得简练些，而且可能是关于一本书的呢！）instead of analyzing and feeling what does the real author want to tell（the author really want to tell）. Under these circumstances, critics function as a mold building (a mold--bulid?)our distinct thoughts into identical ones(one?). Even more ridiculous, nobody would care whether the mold is accurate or correct (accurate , correct 都是正确的程度，用一个就好了吧)enough.

Some assertions supporting the importance of critics might raise that the feedback of critics will become beneficial suggestions for the artists and thereby they can improve their works effectively. This seemingly plausible point of view completely misunderstands the production process of art--artists sense the circumstances, and reflect their sensations with sophisticated skills in their productions. Having realized this, we should come close to the essence of art—an artistic work is the natural production of passion and inspiration of the artist. The conception of free thought is of paramount importance in the field of art. On the other hand, if artists had to collect responses of critics and analyze them first, then began to create based on these considerations, the whole working process would turn out to be the assembly-line with standard protocols and alleged “matters need attention”.
（这一段写得挺像Argument）

It is also worth mentioning that history has witnessed numerous artistic geniuses, who exceed far away from their cotemporaries, criticized and ostracized by the conservative critics. The most appropriate example involves the story of Vincent Van Gogh. His paintings are characterized by thick brush strokes, brilliant colors, and jagged lines, through which Van Gogh expressed his emotional response to his subjects. But that style was excluded by the mainstream of painting at his time, which emphasizes the accurate description of subjects. 加个连接两句话的词Van Gogh had a tough life, full of ups and downs, and ending in tragedy with only one painting sold before his death. Furthermore, critics in a few societies are hired by governments to fight against opposite views and become the tools of oppression of thoughts.

Admittedly, critics might contribute to the understanding of artistic works on a superficial level. They can teach the public some basic skills about art such as the combination of pigments, lines or notes, and how to make them lively. However, this job is not capable of endowing us with eternal value. That is what only artists can do.
（感觉最后一段有些削弱全文的论证呢）

你的用词和造句很不错嘛！挺佩服的：）全文是通过批判critics不能带来lasting value，然后说明它是artists带来的，没怎么说artists，写得有些像驳论文。挺喜欢这个观点的，不过不知这样的写法好不好

求你将我放在心上如印记，
带在你臂上如戳记

使用道具举报

mabingke
UID: 2457486

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 89
注册时间: 2008-2-11
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2008-2-25 21:44:23 |只看该作者

不知为何，Argu那帖不能回。修改贴在这里啦：）
In this analysis the arguer attempts to convince us that the merger of West Roseville 空格(WR) and Roseville 空格(R) will be a reasonable measure for several reasons. First, the merger would eliminate confusion among residents in both township about which one to contact when seeking service. Second, the adminastativeadministrative costs would be saved considrably considerably after the merger. Finally, more potential business investments will be available on account of the merger. This argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted assumptions.

To begin with, the example that the police department in R recieves receives many calls from residents in the other region （in WR）is not persuasive enough to prove the residents are confused. It is entirely possible that residents in WR contact the police department of R because they are confronting troubles in the region of R, or they just want to know about the road condition of R to prepare for a trip. Also there might be circumstances when the residents realized that WR’s local police department are not able to handle their affairs and thereby they turn to contact the other one(the one in other town). The author fails to rule out the possibilities I enumerated above to confirm the existence of confusion. Without this premise, to talk about the elimnation elimination after the merger would be meaningless.

Apart from that, the author’s explanation does not lend strong support to the assumption that the savings in administrative costs would be enoumous.enormous. Apparently since the merged governments are in charge of all the affairs in both WR and R, the total amount of jobs does not decrease. Thus the cost can hardly be pared. Furthermore, although simply reassigning emplyees employees will not lead to job lost, it will undoubtedly contribute to the enlarging of the scale of institution. Consequently, the efficiency is impaired and administrative costs rise. In a word, the evidences given in the letter do not substantiate, or even do harm to the author’s conclusion.

Considering Hamden’s example given by the editor, there lies a gratuitous assumption that the merger of Hamden region is in a casual relationship with the subsequently increasing business investments. As a matter of fact, other reasons such as improvement of enviroments environments and preferential policies might also be considered. The absence of such information would overthrow the casual relationship established by the author.

In addition, granted that merger of Hamden directly causes the increasing business investments, the author falls into the mistake of false analogy between the merger of Hamden region and that of Roseville region. the two regions are not similar enough to justify the analogical deduction. For example, Hamden has well-established transportation lines and economic infrastructures, which make investments feasible and profitable. On the contrary, Roseville locates in the remote area with mountains around and weak economic infrastructures. If it was the case, the enforcement of merging would do little help to the attaction attractions for investments.

To sum up, the suggestion of merging R and WR is far from being sound. To solidify this assertion, the author must validate the neccessity necessity and potential benefits of merging by presentiing presenting more logically tenable evidences

文中绿色的可以说是LZ自己的表述，其他的就基本都是模版啦，绿色的没有黑色的多吧。整篇还是有些软弱无力的，顺着题目一条一条的写，看到错误就提出几个可能，感觉没有力度呢!举的可能也只是每个一句话，平铺在那里。Sharkliver的Argu加油哦！

求你将我放在心上如印记，
带在你臂上如戳记

使用道具举报