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Game is commonly regarded as the way to entertain participaters (participaters..? Just say "players") and to develop friendship among them(delete "among them"). A notion that playing a game is fun only when you win is advocated by some scholars, ("," --> ":") they argue that to win is the ultimate purpose of game, therefore it would be meaningless without victory. However(Don't use however to start a sentence. It means "no matter how" in this situation), I cast doubt on this assertion. In my opinion, the greatest fun of a game is not at the result, but at what you got from the process.

Admittedly (really? admittedly? Only use this word when you quote.), winning a game will surely bring players sense of fun, but it does not mean that without winning, there will be nothing fun in a game.(Leading sentence is too long. Please reword.) In fact, the greatest fun lies in the process: NBA players will enjoy their every shoot, every pass and every block on the court, it is basketball’s charming itself provides the players infinite fun, the result plays only a little role; Warcraft players will be intoxicated by their brilliant operation, creative tactic and stunning sceneries. Compared with them, victory, although has its undeniable position, seems much less important.(Last sentence does not flow together. Please reword.)

Deep down(... Are you sure you can say this when writing a formal essay?), at the risk of sounding cold, not every winner will have fun if the victory is not achieved by their ture(true) effort, but by some deceitful dealings or secret stipulations. Thinking(Think) about those soccer games that are controlled by money, will the players get real fun even if they “win”? (Don't ask rhetorical question when writing an essay. All you need to do is to present your opinions and back 'em up! Rhetorical questions do not work in English essays.) After all, for players, sometimes they just want to show their talent during the game, they just want to enjoy the game, that is enough. (Sometimes, after all, players just want to show their talent in the game; they just want to enjoy the game.)Cheatting will not make them happy.

Overall, game can be fun even you lose (NEVER say "you" while writing. Thing about what if the reader says "Huh, me? I don't think so."), game can also be not fun even you win. Enjoy the game, enjoy the process and enjoy the friendship among players. If all of these could be achieved, it is already the greatest fun. Victory? Just regard it as an extra bonus: Winning deserves cheers, losing is also Ok(okay) to accept.