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[作文] 8月9日的雅思作文task 2,练习一篇,烦请各位指导。 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2008-8-17 20:20:16 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC:In some countries, governments are encouraging industries andbusinesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas, do youthink advantage of this development outweigh its disadvantage.

In present-day society, industries and businesses are playing anincreasingly important role in promoting the development of society.Yet at the same time, controversy has arisen over whether they shouldbe moved out of big cities into rural areas. Some people contend thatthis movement will bring more advantages than disadvantages. From myown perspective, I am in favor of their proposition, with certainqualifications.

Convincing arguments can be made that taking industries and businesses out of large cities will bring numerous benefits to the whole society and environment. To begin with, by taking factories andbusiness bases out of city centers, the deteriorating environment of cities will be definitely improved greatly. For instance, Beijing’s airquality improves substantially with some heavy industry factories being dismantled to meet the needs of the Olympics. Furthermore, more employment opportunities will be available to the affluent immigrant workers in rural areas, which, in the long run, will promote theeconomic development of undeveloped areas. Last but not least, the enterprises themselves will benefit from the movement. Indeed, moving into another areas could create some new profitable markets for theenterprises, and thus expand their market shares, which is quite important in current society full of cutthroat competition.

Admittedly, this movement could carry potential drawbacks. Oneillustration of this is that such practice would take large amounts of money and energy while reducing tax revenue of the cities. Despitethat, it is worth noting that it is the governments’ function to find an equilibrium among various interests and minimize the total cost.

To conclude, I would concede that taking industries and business out ofbig cities to regional areas may bring some detrimental effects.However, it is unjustifiable if we overlook the benefits this practicemay lead to. Overall, I am convinced that it is advisable to take industries and business from big cities to rural areas, and which, inthe long term, is beneficial to the healthy development of a nation asa whole.

[ 本帖最后由 ranlishan 于 2008-8-18 22:37 编辑 ]
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forbeck + 10 作文互评

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Golden Apple

沙发
发表于 2008-8-17 23:59:19 |只看该作者
lz,对不起,我现在看到英文就头大:rolleyes:
朋友总说我笑得很放肆!
三日不读书就面目可憎!

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Capricorn摩羯座 荣誉版主

板凳
发表于 2008-8-18 09:52:08 |只看该作者
1 Convincing arguments can be made that takingindustries and businesses will bring numerous benefits to the wholesociety and environment

这句话是不是有点逻辑问题,发展工业能给环境带来什么好处呢?大概除了循环工业吧。。。。。?

2 it is worth noting that it’s the governments’ function
作文中不能使用缩写

3 我这是在鸡蛋里挑骨头,楼主的文章很有逻辑性,语言也运用的很好:)
请烤鸭回来的各位板油将回忆写进  每期考试回忆贴 谢谢~~~

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地板
发表于 2008-8-18 22:34:28 |只看该作者

回复 #3 forbeck 的帖子

非常谢谢你的指正。我已经在文中作了相应修改。
再次谢谢!!!

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发表于 2009-4-6 17:10:43 |只看该作者
8  7 8 7   overall 7.5

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发表于 2009-4-6 21:24:14 |只看该作者
moving into another areas could create some new profitable markets for the enterprises
主语对吗
it is unjustifiable if we overlook the benefits this practicemay lead to.
If 还是 that

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RE: 8月9日的雅思作文task 2,练习一篇,烦请各位指导。 [修改]
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8月9日的雅思作文task 2,练习一篇,烦请各位指导。
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-870163-1-1.html
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