[未归类] 0910AW 同主题写作第一期 [复制链接]

We often heard that: "one world, one dream." It is not surprisingly->surprising that the globalization is really diminishing the differences among culture. 这句话一说，后面理所当然认为是全球化导致小语种消失。题目说人越来越少说小语种导致其正在消失。全球化和讲小语种的人少之间少了某种联系。纯属个人建议。At the same time, there is a crucial problem that many lesser-known languages are being lost. So people 最好是作者建议suggest that governments of these countries should do something to prevent languages from being extinct. From my personal perspective, such a problem needs governments to call for a balance thought.

开篇点明题意，重心落在政府应该保护。这个很好。但是想通过自然的过渡来实现，导致题目的意思无形偏离，看看范文怎么衔接的比较好。
To begin with, it is the responsibility for->of governments of countries which languages are being lost to protect their mother tongues. 强调句用得不对。不加mother 我就觉得在保护舌头。It is true that in order to pursue stability and prosperity, a lot of governments encourage their people to study a second language, or-> and even some of them change the second language to their official language. Recently, some scholars said excepting->except
介词怎么能有动名词形式？the convenience and benefit of globalization, over half of the world's seven thousand languages, unfortunately, are in danger of disappearing. Some->A survey points out
指出比指好些that every two weeks one language disappears, so experts proposed 这个时态错了吧 to establish a language museum which uses 应该是被动to collect non-existed主动non-existing language复数吧. This assertion not just shocks us, but also indicates the emergency of this problem. Since a language 可数名词不可以裸着出现 is our vehicle of->for understanding the culture and science of the world, and
a local language
of a country is the tool of local people to communicate with their ancestors
这个词一般用复数and each other, if its people do not use its native language, or they have to know their native languages from museum可数名词不可以裸着出现, its traditional culture and knowledge may disappear with their language either->too. Then it is not difficult to imagine what will happen to the country.
继续说这个国家母语消失了会发生什么匪夷所思的事，不然读到这里没有一点觉得母语消失有什么震撼的地方。Therefore, these governments should ensure their lesser-know language stop being disappeared主动不被动.

本段论证保护小语种的重要性。全球化贸易导致国家为繁荣稳定使用第二语。这是小语种消失的原因。世界语系消失快指出要保护小语种，否则不能理解传统文化。后果可以挖掘得深一些。

Television has become an important vehicle for spreading political ideas. 电视已成为传播政治思想的重要媒介。

He is sprung from noble ancestors.
他出身名门。

On the other hand, different countries have their own urgent issues, the intensity of protecting being lost language should be according to different situations, 这个句子有点缺。保护力度应该跟情况而定表达再斟酌especially for the relatively laggard countries. Since there are several reasons for language disappeared->disappearing which include economic reason, utility, and the world trends. From this->these we could see that the strength of the country will be这个词删去influence its language disappearing directly. Because many counties have to put more energy focusing on the most emergent problems, such as famine, homeless or unemployment, and it will be cruel for governments to solve language problem but ignore these troubles. In my opinion, if the governments do not have the ability to resolve it by them-selves, they could find other solutions, like seeking some organizations for help or developing some charities for disappearing language.

政府无暇顾及导致语言消失。这是说原因的。消失的原因的。
Finally, language disappearing will be a disaster for all of people, which is just like being extinct animals. Because the valuable information contained within a language is abundant, once it lost, it lost forever. It just likes the dinosaurs never back to earth again. For example, a lot of ancient languages include the helpful information about local medicine, plants and animals, which might be the knowledge that some scientists try to research all their lives. When the language died, the information will unknown to scientists. So all governments could call their people to support and help the disappearing languages.
这段讲语言消失的损失。这是原因，应该放前面讲好些。

All in all, as I have mentioned above, governments of countries in which these lesser-known languages should weigh carefully about this problem. With the backdrop of worldwide tide, they could do their best to protect the disappearing language or resort to other solutions to prevent languages from being missing.

政府应该好好想想办法保护本国消失的语种。我觉得应该把政府能想到的你说出来一些具体的会更有说服力。

第一段提出政府要保护本国消失的语种。二段提出全球化导致消失很厉害，后果很严重，所以政府要保护；第三段讲政府保护的力度有差异导致消失。第四段讲消失的后果。第五段总结政府要保护。

我认为，第三段和第四段应该和第二段结合，一段写原因，一段写后果，一段写政府应该怎么做，再总结。

句子表达结构如果好些会增色不少。另外一些小语法错误要注意。以上是参考意见。