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[求助] 请达人来评评我的文~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-8-6 00:46:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
各位各位,我错了...8号就要考试了...可是我因为长久没有碰托福,觉得自己对那种类型的逻辑文章已经没有概念了.今天晚上很战战兢兢地随意抽了一篇出来写...自己反复看也看不出什么,麻烦各位帮我评评~


Do you agree or disagree:
It is important to know events happening around the world,though sometimes they are unlikely to affect your daily life.

Nowadays, information are reallyaccessible. No matter you surf on the internet, read newspapers or watch TV,you will get a handful information. However, not so many people would chooseworld news as their interest among all other information. Personally, I am oneof the few people who actually enjoys knowing world news and have alwaysbelieved the importance of it.

First of all, learning about what ishappening in the world helps us to make good decisions and succeed. Since theglobalization becomes an unpreventable trend, the world is more and more like awhole. Whatever field you want to work in in the future, I am pretty sure thatyou cannot avoid to encounter with the outer world. Thus, knowing about whathappens around will definitely give you an advantage to make good decisions. Forinstance, if you want to do oil business, and you do not know the wars going onin the Mid-East, you will not be able to predict the fluctuation in the worldoil market. Therefore, you may lose a fair amount of money.

Besides, companies and schools treat theknowledge of what is going on in the world as part of your personal value. Ifyou do not know any news or big events, companies and schools may reject youeven though you have the best academic performance. This is because how muchattention you pay to the world reflects your world view as broad or limited.

Moreover, events happening in the worldwill be a great resource of issues to discuss with people. Having knowledgeabout world news, you will have a strong background when you debate with peopleor just make informal conversations. This is important when you deal with yourclients or make new friends. The meaningful conversation will leave aimpression of a thoughtful person to others.

Indeed, the world news in a magazine maynot be as attractive as a sport or fashion report. Nevertheless, it is animportant thing to read through and make yourself a thoughtful and attractive successfulperson.
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沙发
发表于 2009-8-6 00:59:02 |只看该作者
我觉得写得很好

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板凳
发表于 2009-8-6 03:17:00 |只看该作者
总体来说,还是不错的,但是对于句子的安排,标点符号的把握还是有待提高。

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