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月下花魂
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发表于 2009-8-16 23:37:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由月下花魂于 2009-8-23 10:39 编辑

作业完成情况：
kuaru，月下花魂，Colett，lisa_c，dathsicious，kira，diamondcat，oceanmaster，lliisaJudy都很认真的完成了
没有交的同学请尽快补齐，并PM我。

Topic:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
(题目来自185第一题)

周二（8月18日）晚22:30前上交
周三（8月19日）晚22:30前完成互改 s

互改分配：
第一组：月下花魂，kuaru，Colett
第二组：lisa_c，dathsicious，kira
第三组：diamondcat，oceanmaster，lliisaJudy

组内成员改同组其他两人的^_^

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Windskiing	+ 1	MM ibt加油~

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不以物喜，不以己悲！
淡定再淡定。。。

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月下花魂
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-16 23:38:55 |只看该作者

本帖最后由月下花魂于 2009-8-18 21:33 编辑

交作业^^

When people have graduated the high school, they need to take the choice that whether they will attend college or university or enter the work force directly. If they choose to attend college or university, there may be for the reasons that are the new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge.

First of all, it is a wonderful and helpful experience to attend college or university. In the college, you will have the chance to live with roommates, and it is attractive, for you can understand how to live with others and how to get the balance of your and your roommates’ benefits. Such as when you want to wash the hair while your roommate is sleeping, you may change the time because you do not want to make noise. You can also join the school societies if you like, and from the activities you can strengthen your capability of communication, guidance, affinity and execution.

Second, people attend the college for a sufficient career preparation before they go out of school. In the college, people can learn the specific knowledge and other technologies, such as the computer skills. Nowadays, the competition become more and more drastic, so many companies desire employees who are capable in general diathesis, and the companies even expect to use the higher salaries and status to attract them. For the situation, we can have a cushion in the college before we get the job, and in the cushion, we can have an ample preparation in order to reinforce the competition.

In addition, that attending college can surely increase knowledge. Some people do not care about the new experience or a good job, they just want to learn more extensive and in-depth knowledge and devote their lives to the science. One of my high school classmates is this kind of person. He loves biology very much. He read a lot of books about biology in high school, and he told me that he wanted to attend the best college to learn biology, because he can get the nearest information of it and do the experiments in an advanced laboratory. Now he did it and he said that it is deserved.

To sum up, different individuals have different reasons to attend college or university, and all of these reasons have an identical character that s/he attends college for a better life or achieving a high value.

不以物喜，不以己悲！
淡定再淡定。。。

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colett
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板凳

发表于 2009-8-17 10:10:03 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 colett 于 2009-8-17 15:54 编辑

为了表示重新做人的决心，我要早交作业！！！！

   Different individuals have different purposes to attend college or university, such as new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge and even some young scholars have no purpose and only think that they should attend college with the others at that age.
Generally speaking, the majority of students attending college want to improve themselves in the field of experience and knowledge, in order to meet the need of their career and life in the future. To the beginning, the knowledge that we learned from the primary and middle school is not enough for us to solve the problems we will face in the next stage of our life. We will receive much knowledge of various fields from different majors and increase the quantity of our knowledge. For example, the students of my middle school attend different colleges to study different knowledge of different majors, including clinical medicine, statistics and production of wine. What’s more, as an increasing number of students we have got touch with in the college, we will attain more new experience from the information provided by these new friends and even from this process itself. In fact, a college is just like a miniature society, so we can approach phenomenon of society and learn experience to face society ahead. Last but not the least, what we learn from the college will entire us some skills to get a job and provide enough salary to lead our life. That’s the most real and significant reason for our college students to study in the college. Inversely, there are a great number of young individuals without attending college who are unable to get a comfortable job.
   However, not all the students attend college for the above reasons. In fact, quite a lot of young scholars have no exact purpose to attend college. For one thing, they lack the consideration of their future and are not aware of the use of studying in the college for their future life. For another, they have not decided, even not considered, what they should do at that age, so they attend college with the majority of their peers or obeying the command of their parents. Although we may think these students are so ludicrous, they really exist in the world and some of them are extremely famous. Bill Gates, who takes up the top of the richest persons all over the world for many years, had just no purpose to attend Harvard, so he decided to give up studying in the college to start his empire of software without any hesitations, when he realize what he wanted and what he should do at that time.
   Taking all the above we have enumerated into the consideration, we may safely make a conclusion that different individuals attend college for many different reasons, even without any reasons.

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地板

发表于 2009-8-17 12:14:20 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 kuaru 于 2009-8-19 11:35 编辑

开开心滴把作业贴上来~~
A tendency that has existed for decades is that an increasing number of people are attending college or universities, ranging from fresh graduates to some experienced employees who have worked in
companies for years. Quite a few reasons can account for this phenomenon, including people's pursuit for a degree which represents their special knowledge , having more working experiences , keeping competitive in further career and so forth.

First and foremost, it has long been an accepted fact that applicants with a college degree in a given area will get an upper hand than people who have never attended a university, for diploma is one of the most crucial criterions for an emplyer to grade all the candidates. Suppose you are a personnel manager, there are two applicants for you to choose from: one is a graduate from a prestige university and the other is as excellent as the former one expect that he does not have a college degree. So which one will you choose? I believe you will undoubtedly hire the graduate student who seems to be more qualified by abtaining a formal and systemic colledge education. Therefor, we may see
that it is quite difficult for a person to find a good job without at least attending college, even though it is not always enough.

In spite of getting a diploma, acquiring
more working experiences or getting prepared for further career is another significant factor why people attend univeisity. At the first place, after high school graduation, there is still a long way to go for young adults to be able to survive in the increasingly fierce social competition, luckily enough, university provides them with a proper platform. In the society-like environment, they will come in contact with a variet of people from different cultures with various characteristics, gradually, they will acquire some social skills which cannot be learnt from textbooks. Besides, having some internships during schooldays acts as a transition to the real career. On the other hand, in terms of people who have worked for a pretty long time, and also choose
to attend college, the reason is much more complicated. One is to remain competitive in the workplace. Like some undergraduate shudents back to college to get a master degree. Another reason is simply for their own gratification and enjoyment, to increase their knowledge in different areas that they never had a chance to learn while in school.

All in all, reasons for people wish to attend college or universities varies from person to person. But one thing is for sure, that is they all attend college for a satisfying and promising future.

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熊爱棒棒糖
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5楼

发表于 2009-8-17 13:12:54 |只看该作者

占楼

闪亮的日子

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6楼

发表于 2009-8-17 16:36:37 |只看该作者

Lisa_C 817作文

本帖最后由 lisa_C 于 2009-8-17 21:44 编辑

交作业^&^

Nowadays, College students face more and more fierce competitions with the development of society, we are not guaranteed jobs when we graduate from college. Why do we attend university? Many college students really don't have a clear reason for it. In my opinion, we come here for following three purposes, learning, preparing and experience.

The primary purpose for attending college or university is to learn more. College and university can teach student the footstone of future. The education here tells us how to be excellent in discovering, learning, investing, sharing, living, exploring, supporting, aspiring, thinking, creating, experiencing and succeeding. It is not only about basic theories but also about the basic truth of human beings. It teaches us to see things as they are, to go right to the point, to disentangle a skein of thought, to detect what is sophistical, and to discard what is irrelevant.

Another purpose is to prepare our career in the future. University education is a process to lead and urge university students to achieve their socialization.
As the saying goes, A college is a small society. It is a place where most people can see themselves making the transition to adulthood. On the one hand,
We have a favorable environment in the university for us to prepare the necessary passports in the society. Apart from the College degree itself, we can also have time to get more certificates, such as National Computer Rank Examination, CET 6, BEC, CPA and so on.
On the other hand, we can gain social interaction ability through four years of university life. College life is different from our previous school environment. There are many activities here to help us improve our
interpersonal relationships and social skills.

Furthermore, the campus life is a memorable experience for us. College may be the closest one gets to heaven on earth. The school life is really simple and free. We will have years of great memories here. Some may meet many friends to share thoughts, feelings, hopes and aspirations as well as hurt, anger, longing and memories of painful or embarrassing experiences. Some may have a beautiful love in the university, walking on campus holding the hand of their lovers. Each of the college students can create a lifetime of meaningful memories.

To sum up, attending college or university helps us learn much, prepare for the future and have a great experience, In conclusion, Campus life is to be treasured.

一个慢慢滚向PHD的橙子

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7楼

发表于 2009-8-17 19:12:58 |只看该作者

交作业
People will seek an opportunity to attend college or university for several reasons, but the most important or the most essential reason is to well prepare their career. That is to say, they want to learn the basis of specific field and to find chances to go into the field.

The works in the modern society become more and more complex and technical, so a complete training can not easily be done by self study. However, the college or university has a long tested education system to many fields, they have good training mode, group of experienced faculty, abound library. The good training mode guarantees you could to master all the essentials in the field, the experienced faculty teaches you the knowledge luminously and foresighted, and good library permit you to do your study deeply and extensively.

The college or university also provides lots of opportunity to the field. This is not to say that the college have relevant work positions itself, instead, the college may establish some collaborate relationship with some companies or organizations which would like to accepted graduated students of this school as their new staff. And in addition, the company or the organization will pay enough attention to this kind of new staff, in another words, you would have more chances to be promoted.

These two aspects are important to people who want to a work in specific field, suppose a man with no enough expertise, there wouldn’t be any good position provided to him. And suppose a man full of knowledge but with no chances to go to his field, it’s also hard to achieve a success. In fact, since these two points are so important and are only available in college or university, people would have willingness to get an admission.

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Unlimited Power!
zzzzzzz

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8楼

发表于 2009-8-17 22:00:20 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 kiralovely 于 2009-8-18 22:05 编辑

Accepting university education is becoming an extremley attractive option to huge crowds of poeple.More academic people tend to obtain further degrees,such as master,phd,etc. however,the motivation of attending college varies form one individual to another.From my point of view,university education plays a rather significant role in one's life and the reason to explain this sort of tendency can be summarized as the following conclusion:knowledge driven and community driven.

To begin with,I strongly insist that the knowledge driven situation should be regard as the majarity.Nobody denies that university plays a vital and central role in the higher education system.Because university education is the most powerful machine which is established in modern society,those who own the curiosity to get more konwledge and those who have the ambition to make breakthrough in their own spheres are strongly willing to take course in university.For example,since 1980s',huge amounts of chinese undergraduate students have applied U.S universities and research institutions for get the opportunities pursuing master degree as well as Phd degree.They left far away from their parents,communities,companions,cities and motherland and flew beyond half a planet to an unfamiliar country not only to study abroad with scholarships but also for the exceptional academic reputation of U.S institutions therefore they could obtain much advanced knowledge and technology.

Futhermore,a large quantities of people pursue university education hold the motivation of community driven.And this motivation could be splited as 2 factors:career reputation and treasure.As we can see,the criterion that modern society evaluates people becomes multiple.Nevertheless, individual's education background always ranks as top aspects.For instance, 3 precedent Intel chief executive officers including Robert Noyce,Gorden Moore,Andy Grove all own physical or electrical engineering phd degree from MIT,UC berkeley or Stanford.Apprently,their university education and research experience helps them a lot to their further career development.

To sum up, I assert the tendency that university education attracts huge amounts of people because of both knowledge and community assessment.Actually,these 2 reasons are reasonable，sustainable and universal.

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发表于 2009-8-18 12:22:40 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 diamondcat 于 2009-8-18 21:41 编辑

People attend university for different reasons like new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge, to meet new people, to be specialized in a field, to change the city that they were born in, to make their parents proud, to be out of the parents' eyes and many, many other reasons.

As human beings, we are programmed to establish goals in our life. One of the goals is the career or how we will earn the income and at what standard we want to live. If we want a high level income and life then is necessary to choose a university or a college. Why? Because only if you are professional in the field that you want to practice then your income and life-level will be high.

Not all the teenagers that choose to enroll in a university or college know very well what they want to do with their life so their goals are not too specific. Then, they must be motivated by other reasons. One reason can be just to get out of the small towns or villages that they were born in and to go into a big city with so many opportunities. Imagine what a life...new friends from different backgrounds, clubs, parties, freedom (the parents are not there). Maybe you just dream to know other society than yours...well, the borders are open now, and you can study in your dream country or society.

Another reason to attend university is the level of knowledge that your are exposed to. Every day the amount of knowledge is getting bigger, more specific with each level. So many opportunities are open in your face, specialties that you did not know before. Is impossible not to find something that you like...molecular physics, behavior analysis, a philosopher that you agree with, genetic science etc. The environment will take you to the highest level. You just need to choose the field.

Finally, one of the most common reasons to attend a university is the family. It is more probable that, if you come from an intellectual family to attend university. It is a fact that the parental model is very important in the way you choose to live your life. The percentage of teenagers that attend university is much higher in intellectual families than in families where parents do not have degrees. Many persons attend university for the sake of their parents.

There are many reasons to attend university. I think in these days everybody can attend a university. You can take a loan or you can attend different programs and foundations, or your grades will speak for you and you can win a grant or a bursary. I am sure that there are many persons who regret that they had not attended a university, but none to regret that have a degree.

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10楼

发表于 2009-8-18 19:37:08 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 oceanmaster 于 2009-8-18 21:57 编辑

Universities, especially famous ones, occupy the highest position in education system.
Meanwhile, the number and quality of a country's universities stands for the nation's
technology ability. Just because of universities' double importances in both education and
research fields, there are tempting reasons for people throught the world to fight to enter
them. Three of these reasons will be discussed in following passage.
A realistic bait for people is the high value of a college graduate identity. University
students are usually considered to the best of all their ages, and there are reasons to
support. To enter a university, a student have to survive all his importand exams and enjoy
a clear record of bahavior. Consequently, them are supposed to be the smartest and most law
-bidding citizens. That's not so hard to understand. The strongest survives.
Correspondingly, college graduates enjoy higher social position and many more chances to
sucdess than other group of people, right after their graduate. Take my hometown for
instance. The identity of college graduate has been an essential requirement of all superior
vocations. Only dirtiest vocations are open to all.
Another convincing reason for people to enter college is involved with career preparation.
University is one of the key paths to get into research work, if not the only. Research
activities require some important abilities and experiences. A common knowladge of cutting-
edge progress, being familiar with paper reading and writing and the ability to use research
tools, for instance. And universities are perfect places to study accsssory knowladeg and
build up experience. Some research institutes, in fact, are just get started as college
training institutes.
The purest cause to go to university is the desire for knowladge. A proper illustration for
this can be the famous table tennis player DengYaping. After winning Olympic golden medals
for three times, she has, by all means, been a successer. However, she decided to leave
behind the sport field and go to TsingHua University then. I believe this action is out of
her purpose to get a systematical education of human knowladge, which can only be provided
by universities.
To sum up, out of the purpose to get higher in social position, get more prepared for future
research or simply get more known, people choose to fight their way to the palace of
knowladge, colleges.

总字数386。。时间嘛...大约一个半小时...
望同学们狠批。特别是希望同学们给出如何更精简有效（最好同时精彩）的表达同样的内容的指导~~
先多谢了~~

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11楼

发表于 2009-8-18 22:26:03 |只看该作者

交作业咯！
University is no longer a fresh word to people nowadays. Since the beginning of this century, more and more youngster choose to enter university after they have completed the study in high school rather than to join the army or become a apprentice. For different people they have different reasons to make such kind a choice, like new experiences or increased knowledge. As far as I am concerned, I choose to go to university is to prepare for my career.

Firstly, study in a university, most of us have to live in a different city from our parents and thus we must learn how to live independently. When I began my collage life, I could nearly do nothing without my parents. I donot how to get rid of the stain on my white T-shirt which I've washed again and again and which mum could deal with it easily. I donot know how to clean the windows in my dorm as mum does in my house. However, I never gave up and I would ask my parents for help on the phone. Now, I have been the best "cleaner" in my dorm. Besides, after learning in this two years, I have picked up the skill how to bargain when on business.

Another important skill we can learn during our collage life is communication skill, which is one of the key factors for our success. When first come to the school, we try to know how to communicate with our roommates, who may have the opposite characteristic with us and get along well with them. After that, we learn how to communicate with our professors and classmates during a discussion in classes. Some students may join some unions, it offers more opportunities for them to obtain the ability to express himself and communicate with others.

Most people claim that the most important thing during university is to study hard. I oppose it because I believe that learn how to study is more important. Frankly speaking, many people will not devote to the profession they are majored in now. However, if they have developed a good habit to learn knowledge they could learn anything well after graduation.

All in all, people who choose to enter university all have their hopes: to prepare for their social life sufficiently. At the same time, present university generally provides such an environment for people to achieve such goals. Therefore, when we see more and more fresh smiles on the campus of universities, let us just wish them a promising future.

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12楼

发表于 2009-8-19 08:31:45 |只看该作者

批改月下的作文
When people have graduated from the high school, they need to take (觉得这里用这个词不好，但又想不到合适，改成have to face the choice 你觉得咋样？)
the choice that whether they will attend college or university or enter the work force（看不懂，改成get a job?） directly. If they choose to attend college or university, there may be for the reasons that are (这样写总觉得别扭，改成，the following reasons，including) the new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge., S8 Q5 S$ b9 T

) u* J9 i" i3 z! o$ e6 [First of all, it is a wonderful and helpful experience to attend college or university（改成To attend college will bring us wonderful and helpful experience）. In the college, you will have the chance to live with roommates, and it is attractive, for you can understand (看不懂！！！为什么要用for) how to live with others and how to get the balance of （make a balance between 是不是感觉上舒服一些）your and your roommates’ benefits. Such as when you want to wash the hair while your roommate is sleeping, you may change the time because you do not want to make noise. You can also join the school societies
（改为community）if you like, and from the activities（campaign） you can strengthen your capability of communication, guidance, affinity and execution.; N0 ~. X1 O: G4 d

2 Y' m" l/ B' E* rSecond（Secondly）, people attend the college for a sufficient career preparation before they go out of school. In the college, people can learn the specific knowledge and other technologies, such as the computer skills. Nowadays, the competition become more and more drastic, so many companies desire employees who are capable in general diathesis, and the companies even expect to use the higher salaries and status to attract them. For the situation, we can have a cushion（什么意思？） in the college before we get the job, and in the cushion, we can have an ample preparation in order to reinforce the competition.（这一段总体写的还是不错的，只是月下mm你为什么这么喜欢用can啊？）
: s. Q0 S) X- g* X, b
6 E( N/ w' w7 f( o
In addition, that（是否该删去？） attending college can surely increase （our）knowledge. Some people do not care about the new experience or a good job, they just want to learn more extensive and in-depth（可以这么用么？我没见过啊） knowledge and devote their lives to the science. One of my high school classmates is this kind of person. He loves biology very much. He read a lot of books about biology in high school, and he told me that he wanted to attend the best college to learn biology, because he can get the nearest（改成newest） information of（about） it and do the experiments in an advanced laboratory. Now he did it and he said that it is deserved（语态不对吧？）.3 k5（ k: N9 f. J% ^

& e; H1 F* \9 WTo sum up, different individuals have different reasons to attend college or university, and all of these reasons have an identical character that s/he attends college for a better life or achieving a（改成realize their） high value.
月下组长，你昨天是不是有什么事啊，时间不够？还是晚上写作文的时候困了？总之，这不应该是你的真实水平，这些小错误完全可以避免啊。当然，如果你是限时作文的话还是应该夸赞一下的！！！但是，总体上的内容不错，还能感觉到你的英语基础比较扎实，单词背的也很认真，继续加油油！！！

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月下花魂	+ 2	加分^_^

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13楼

发表于 2009-8-19 08:34:00 |只看该作者

批改组长的作文
A tendency that has existed for decades is that an increasing number of people are attending college or universities, ranging from fresh graduates to some experienced employees who have worked in ! B; o; K* [4 y& N' Xcompanies for years. （首句写得很有水准！！）Quite a few reasons can account for this phenomenon, including people's pursuit for a degree which represents （the level of）their special knowledge , having(是否可以删去，都直接作pursuit for的宾语？) more working experiences , keeping competitive in further career（改为competitive job in future） and so forth.& o. E9 U% t3 m$ D
, U7 R. D0 Q% O* h0 f' |/ w
First and foremost, it has long been (看不懂呢？) an accepted
（不大妥，我又实在想不出该改成什么）fact that applicants with a college degree in a given area will get an upper hand than people who have never attened a university（这一句都不大懂，意思明白，加下划线的词组不懂）, for diploma is one of the most crucial criterions for an emplyer to grade all the candidates. Suppose you are a personnel manager, there are two applicants for you to choose from（总觉得别扭）: one is a graduate from a prestige university and the other is as excellent as the former one expect that he does not have a college degree. So which one will you choose? I believe you will undoubtedly hire the graduate student who seems to be more qualified by abtaining a formal and systemic colledge education. Therefor, we may see ! W, d8 U. R! P5 v. g; z' wthat it is quite difficult for a person to find a good job without at least（应该去掉） attending college, even though it is not always enough.（小错误太多啦！！！！）2 J# R; m- r0 M/ s. |; \
2 c% \. p/ o- [! \- S
In spite of getting a diploma, acquiring0 c* b) ~5 ~  Q, h( Rmore working experiences or getting prepared for further career is another significant factor why people attend univeisity. At the first place, after high school graduation, there is still a long way to go for young adults to be able to survive in the increasingly（这里可以用more and more） fierce social competition, luckily enough, university provides them with a proper platform. In the society-like environment, they will come in（看不懂） contact with a variet of people from different cultures with various characteristics, gradually（这个词后置如何？）, they will acquire some social skills which cannot be learnt from textbooks（直接用books不行么？）. Besides, having some internships during schooldays acts as a transition to the real career. On the other hand, in terms of people who have worked for a pretty long time, and also choose; j! j& e; v$ _  a7 Bto attend college, the reason is much more complicated. One is to remain competitive in the workplace. Like some undergraduate shudents back to college to get a master degree. Another reason is simply for their own gratification and enjoyment, to increase their knowledge in different areas that they never had a chance to learn while in school（这一段总的感觉就是乱啊，看不大懂，缺乏条理啊，罗列的原因如果能用同一组连词衔接的话效果会好很多）.1 i& f) L9 ^: z1 h# I% |5 H

# f9 N$ z* ?- v- |  W1 lAll in all, reasons for people wish to attend college or universities varies from person to person. But one thing is for sure,（读起来还是别扭啊） that is they all attend college for a satisfying and promising future.
组长写的东西确实很有水平啊，先夸一下！！！不过，小错误太多了，组长是不是也是限时是作文啊？这些地方以后一定要仔细啊！！！另外，我想问一下领导，作文的字数控制在多少比较好啊？8 ]2 c  C' G" t+ ~1 g9 K

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14楼

发表于 2009-8-19 10:38:27 |只看该作者

13# colett

那个啥，首先偶不是限时写的，就是写写改改那样的（还没到限时的水平，加上打字很慢。。。⊙﹏⊙b。。）
另外，你指出的小错误，偶来给你解释一下（这可不是偶原创的，老美就这么用的。。
it has long been an accepted fact that（这是个长久来被人们认可的事实） ,in an given area,（在特定领域） get an upper hand(占优势)

字数呢，个人认为考场上越多越好啊，当然要是在有质量的前提下
平常做不限时联系的话，还是多写的好，扩展思路嘛

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15楼

发表于 2009-8-19 11:02:46 |只看该作者

To 月下

When people have graduated （为什么用完成时？graduate from high school ）the（这个the删掉，并没什么特指的意思，这一点在你口语里也发现了，有的时候是不需用的） high school, they need to take（make） the choice that whether they will attend college or university （后面还有个or，建议吧前面一个去掉，不过没什么影响）or enter the work force （这里用错了，workforce是指劳动力啊，职工什么的，反正是指人的）directly. If they choose to attend college or university, there may be for the reasons that are the new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge.- _/ l% G6 w% [/ k" d
% J2 K. `0 C* L3 t4 X6 }) g0 B
First of all, it is a wonderful and helpful experience to attend college or university.（分论点。那么你下面应该说怎么美好和有用。但你第一个列子是关心体谅室友，哪里支持论点了？） In the college, you will have the chance to live with roommates, and it is attractive, for you can understand how to live with others and how to get the balance of your and your roommates’ benefits. Such as when you want to wash the hair while your roommate is sleeping, you may change the time because you do not want to make noise. You can also join the school societies if you like, and from the activities you can strengthen your capability of communication, guidance, affinity（这两个应该不属于capability的） and execution.

Second, people attend the college for a sufficient career preparation before they go out of school. In the college, people can learn the specific knowledge and other technologies, such as the computer skills（最好再加几个）. Nowadays, the competition become more and more drastic, so many companies desire employees who are capable in general diathesis, and the companies even expect to use the higher salaries and status to attract them. For the situation（什么意思？）, we can have a cushion in the college before we get the job, and in the cushion, we can have an ample preparation in order to reinforce the competition（加强竞争？）.3 s0 C3 （）V: E( X) a X
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In addition, that （去掉）attending college can surely increase knowledge. Some people do not care about the new experience or a good job, they just want to learn more extensive and in-depth knowledge and devote their lives to the science. One of my high school classmates is this kind of person. He loves biology very much. He read a lot of books about biology in high school, and he told me that he wanted to attend the best college to learn biology, because he can get the nearest（不知道能能不这么用） information of it （去掉）and do the experiments in an advanced laboratory. Now he did it and he said that it is deserved.（这一段在事例论证方面很不错）

To sum up, different individuals have different reasons to attend college or university, and all of these reasons have an identical character （这个从句错了）that s/he attends college for a better life or achieving a high value.

总结：在结构上没有问题，分论点耶很充分。不足之处是细节处理的不好，有一些语法错误，不能很好的表达你的想法。另外，我不知你写完以后是否自己读过或该过一遍，但我感觉是没有的，因为一些错误你自己看了耶能改过来。

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月下花魂	+ 1	多谢，果然你说了以后，我也觉得第一个例子 ...

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