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[优秀习作] issue36,历史人物评价问题,各位斧正 [复制链接]

coolwits
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2003-12-14 11:56:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
个人的伟大之处应当由后人评价，而不是同时代的人。
同意。
1．一个人的伟大之处，在一段时间之后, 能够能得到比较全面的评价
2．后人对前人伟大之处的评价，因为比较少受个人利益的影响，更容易做到公平客观。
3．纠正以前做出的错误评价，是后人的责任。

In the history of human being, there are so many great individuals who have promote the development of the society and impressed their names in both history and people’s memories. While here comes the argument whether the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries, I perfectly agree to the speaker’s assertion that it is the people who live after a certain individual can do a employable job of evaluation of the individual’s greatness.

Firstly, at the presence of time, individual’s greatness can usually, if not always, receive a more complete evaluation. In fact, people’s ability of realization and comprehension are always being improved with the eclipse of time, which makes it easier for them to judge a predecessor’s greatness from a deeper and more complete perspective. On the contrary, the predecessor’s contemporaries will probably carry out an incomplete evaluation because of the limitation that their times has put on them. For example, today Einstein’s theory of relativity has been well accepted and regarded as the one of the greatest theoretical contributions of the 20th century. However, when the theory of relativity was first proposed, almost all the people found it difficult for them to understand the theory because it involved so much abstract and went beyond both people’s comprehension and contemporary technology. As a result, that year’s Nobel Prize in physics was not awarded to Einstein, though the genius obviously deserved it.

Secondly, evaluations put forward by individuals’ contemporaries can be more easily influenced by self-interests, which seriously weakens their objectivity. Because the individual and his contemporaries live in the same times, it is highly possible that their interests share a lot or conflict with each other, both of which can make the contemporaries’ evaluation deviate. However, the interests of people who live after the individual have less thing to do with those of the individual, so they can to some degree avoid being influenced like that and consequently bring about a fairer, more objective evaluation. For example, Napoleon built the most powerful empire in France history at the cost of many other countries, such as Britain, Russian. As a result, at that time all France people regarded him as the national hero while the whole Britain and Russia swore him as a devil that is addicted to war. A just, objective evaluation didn’t come out until Napoleon died with the break up his peremptory empire and historians began to look his crimes as well as contributions from calm, objective eyes.

Additionally, it is human being’s responsibility to reevaluate predecessors’ greatness if it has received deviated evaluations. On one hand, those predecessors whose greatness was underestimated deserve their vindication, or social justice will be largely undermined. What’s more, after the revaluation, their important discoveries, their beautiful theories, or their lofty virtues, will be more impressive and consequently more effective in directing next generation. On the other hand, some other predecessors’ invalid reputation that didn’t result from their contribution must be diluted step by step and in the end erased totally, or their misleading actions and proposals will influence next generation’s minds negatively.

To sum up, individual’s greatness should receive evaluation that comes from people who lives after them, not from their contemporaries. In fact, the latter can seldom, if ever, put forward complete and objective evaluation because their times has hold them down.

我们从未爱上过任何人，往往都是爱上什么样的人才可爱的观念。

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imong
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沙发

发表于 2003-12-14 18:25:10 |只看该作者

In the history of human being, there are so many great individuals who have promote (promoted) the development of the society and impressed their names in both history and people’s memories. While here comes the argument whether the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries（这个转述得有些啰嗦，简洁一点。）, I perfectly agree to the speaker’s assertion that it is the people who live after a certain individual （这里好像少了一个that，强调句it is … that …）can do a employable job of evaluation of the individual’s greatness.

Firstly, at the presence of time（？？）, individual’s greatness can usually, if not always, receive a more complete（complete似乎并不准确） evaluation. In fact, people’s ability of realization and comprehension（这个表达不太好） are always being improved with the eclipse of time（are always being感觉很不舒服，后边可以用along with，时光流逝的话，我记得曾经背过一个动词，比较贴切，可是突然想不起来了）, which makes it easier for them to judge a predecessor’s greatness from a deeper and more complete perspective. On the contrary, the predecessor’s contemporaries will probably carry out an incomplete evaluation because of the limitation that their times has put on them（有点变扭）. For example, today Einstein’s theory of relativity has been well accepted and regarded as the one of the greatest theoretical contributions of（in） the 20th century. However, when the theory of relativity was first proposed, almost all the people found it difficult for them to understand the theory （删除the theory，完全可以省略） because it involved so much abstract （so much abstract what?）and went beyond both people’s comprehension and contemporary technology（and用得太多，后边建议写成the technology of his contemporaries，整个句子应该重新组织），. As a result, that year’s Nobel Prize in physics was not awarded to Einstein, though the genius obviously deserved it.后面这句话也许并不很合适。Einstein到最后得到Nobel Prize也只是因为光电效应，说起来等于后来人也没有承认relativity了（如果按照这个逻辑），因此这个例子写到这里恐怕有点问题。需要修改。前两段的行文没有上次那个issue93那么漂亮，有些句子读起来不是很顺。

Secondly, evaluations put forward by individuals’ contemporaries can be more easily（如果是can be就直接写easily，如果是is的话写more easily，我的感觉） influenced by self-interests（personal interests）, which seriously weakens their objectivity. Because the individual and his contemporaries live in the same times, it is highly possible that their interests share a lot or conflict with each other（明白你的意思，但是句子恐怕得revise）, both of which can make the contemporaries’ evaluation deviate.（如果直接写both of which may render deviation of… from … 会不会好一点）However, the interests of people who live after the individual have less thing to do with（have less to do with，没有thing） those of the individual, so they can to some degree avoid being influenced like that （绕口）and consequently bring about a fairer, more objective evaluation. For example, Napoleon built the most powerful empire in France history at the cost of（好！） many other countries, such as Britain, Russian（Russia?）. As a result, at that time all France people (all French?) regarded him as the national hero while the whole Britain and Russia swore him as a devil that is （that is 多余，这种引导词汇一般都是能省就省，或者改用分词，或者改用介词，总是这样写的话结构单一又没有实意） addicted to war. A just, objective evaluation didn’t come out until Napoleon died with the break up his peremptory empire（加逗号） and historians began to look （into?） his crimes （仅仅是look吗？）as well as contributions from calm, objective eyes. 最后这句话还是有点别扭，只是现在没想到好的改动方案。注意意群的连接和分割，该加逗号的时候不要丢，不该加逗号的时候也不要写。

Additionally, it is human being’s responsibility to reevaluate predecessors’ greatness if it has received deviated（deviant是形容词，不过我想是不是inappropriate或者inapposite比较好？） evaluations. On one hand, those predecessors whose greatness was underestimated deserve their（这个their指代不清，干脆去掉） vindication, or（前面改成分号，然后用otherwise，这里的停顿比较大的说） social justice will be largely undermined. What’s more, after the revaluation, their important discoveries, their beautiful theories, or their lofty virtues, will be more impressive and consequently more effective in directing（不是很贴切）next generation. On the other hand, some other predecessors’ invalid reputation（似乎没有invalid reputation的搭配？） that didn’t result from their contribution must be diluted step by step and in the end erased totally, or their misleading actions and proposals will influence next generation’s minds negatively.

To sum up, individual’s greatness should receive evaluation that comes from people who lives after them, not from their contemporaries. In fact, the latter can seldom, if ever, put forward complete and objective evaluation because their times has hold them down.

通篇的论证并不是非常出彩。行文的用词感觉并不舒服。总体上比上一个issue93有一定差距。
如果没记错的话精华区里至少有一篇写得比较好的文章（好像是happyman写的），不妨去参考一下。
加油！

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coolwits
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板凳

发表于 2003-12-14 20:29:52 |只看该作者

谢谢大家

谢谢i-sunshine, zmzhe1648,imong.
新手就是新手，状态不稳定，还要多多向大家学习。
刚刚看了《无间道3》，还比较不错的，有机会看一看

我们从未爱上过任何人，往往都是爱上什么样的人才可爱的观念。

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地板

发表于 2003-12-16 11:01:51 |只看该作者

最近不怎么写新的,修改了issue36,请大家再看看

Issue 36 the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
个人的伟大之处应当由后人评价，而不是同时代的人。
同意。
1 next generation can usually understand predecessors’ contributions better.
2 personal interests can easily influence evaluations put forward by individuals’ contemporaries.
3 it is later followers’ responsibility to reevaluate predecessors’ greatness if it has received inappropriate evaluations.

In the history of human beings, there are so many great individuals who have promote (promoted) the development of the society and impressed their names in both history and people’s memories. While here comes the argument whether the greatness of individuals should only be decided by those who live after them, I perfectly agree to the speaker’s assertion that it is the later followers, not the contemporaries, that can carry out a dependable evaluation of the individual’s greatness.

   Firstly, next generation can usually, if not always, understand predecessors’ contributions better. In fact, people’s ability of understanding are always marching along with the steams of time, which makes it easier for offspring to judge a predecessor’s greatness from a deeper perspective.  For example, when Einstein’s theory of relativity was first proposed, almost all the people found it difficult to understand: The theory had involved so many abstract concepts that neither Einstein’s contemporaries’ comprehension nor their technology could explain it. Finally, the discreet committee of Nobel Prize decided not to award that year’s Nobel Prize in physics to Einstein because they were afraid to make mistakes. Today, however, equipped with more knowledge and advanced technology, people can better understand the theory of relativity and to some degree prove it; Einstein’s greatness is consequently entrenched: he is regarded as one of the most greatest scientists in the 20th century.

Secondly, personal interests can easily influence evaluations put forward by individuals’ contemporaries. For people who live in the same times usually have their benefits related, it is highly possible that the contemporary who sets evaluation of a certain individual have ever gained or lost profits because of the individual’s actions, and that his evaluation be misleaded by personal prejudice.  For example, Napoleon built the most powerful empire in France history at the cost of Britain, Russia, and many other countries. As a result, at that time all French regarded him as the national hero while the whole Britain and Russia swore him as a devil addicted to war. A just, objective evaluation didn’t come out until Napoleon died with the break up his empire, for only then did people begin to look at his crimes as well as contributions from calm, objective eyes.

Additionally, it is later followers’ responsibility to reevaluate predecessors’ greatness if it has received inappropriate evaluations. On one hand, those predecessors whose greatness was underestimated deserve vindication; otherwise social justice will be largely undermined. On the other hand, some other predecessors’ unfounded reputation that didn’t result from their contribution must be diluted step by step and in the end erased totally, or their misleading actions and proposals will influence next generation’s minds negatively.

To sum up, individual’s greatness should receive evaluation that comes from people who lives after them, not from their contemporaries. In fact, the latter can seldom, if ever, put forward objective and reliable evaluation because their times has hold them down.

我们从未爱上过任何人，往往都是爱上什么样的人才可爱的观念。

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imong
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5楼

发表于 2003-12-16 12:48:31 |只看该作者

steams of time 时代的变迁~两三天以来都在想那个词，死活想不起来，唉，郁闷~~

comprehension nor their technology could explain it 不搭配，一不小心comprehension explain就出来了

afraid to make mistakes. 改成afraid of making

greatness entrenched 没有这个搭配的好像。也许用acknowledge？

For people who live in the same times 这里times似乎有错？

have ever gained or lost profits（gain用得不错，但是后面的lost和profit感觉变扭？）
后面那个action不够地道，味道怪怪的

A just, objective evaluation didn’t come out until Napoleon died with the break up his empire（along with the break up of his empire，是不是写得草率了一些？）, for only then （这里的话，前后已经是两部分内容了，恐怕至少要有个and在前面的。）did people begin to look at his crimes as well as contributions from calm, objective eyes.这句话的用词还是不太舒服。我再想想吧，也许给你一个参考版本。你也再考虑考虑，做做调整。

最后一段，并不一定光是underestimation，undeserved denigration也应该被纠正，不妨提到这一点。而且最后一段论证缺乏，你提出了应该平反or重新定论，但是后面只有一句support，没有进一步论证，这样并不有力，前两段改完了之后进步不错，但是这一段，如果写的话，我觉得不能草草了事。

改得不错，进步不小的说，三个论点很清楚，前两段的论证也可以，用词比原来好了很多。

稍微注意一下下次把issue36写在标题的最开头，这个主题我已经改过来了。麻烦你啦。^_^

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