[i习作temp] 第一次写ISSUE [复制链接]

vikkiH
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电梯直达

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发表于 2014-12-8 00:26:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

ISSUE:There is little justification for society to make extraordinary efforts—especially at a great cost in money and jobs—to save endangered animal or plant species.

I agree with the speaker’s claim that justification for the society to save endangered animal or plant species is little. A controversy view would review that there are many social organizations calling for saving the endangered species already. Nevertheless, the number of people who respond to their calling is quite small, which represents that the society is not aware of this yet, and neither the government pay enough attention to this affair, especially not giving enough money and jobs to pull off a plan.
Although many people, including the environment organizations, realize the emergence to save the endangered species, most people do not take an action. Instead, take some people for instance, they eat the endangered animals as appetizing food, such as bats, pangolins, sharks, even tigers and deers whose specific organs are usually taken as health care products. The endangered animal and plant species are disappearing one by one, but efficient moves are not brought into effect. One can see that under such circumstances there is little promises that the society will respond to the protection.
Moreover, as the number of different species is decreasing, it is going to make a biodiversity, which may lead to a more fragile ecosystem. A biodiversity can bring many benefits, such as resistance to catastrophe, food, medicines, industrial materials, better crop-varieties, as well as aesthetic value and intellectual value. However, the disappearance of endangered species forecasts the dying out of others species, and gradually, more and more deserts may turn up, the air condition will be worse, the environment will lose its previous beauty, by that time, human will be regretful of not making efforts to save the endangered ones as well as saving the ecosystem.
Therefore, not only the society should be aware of themselves about this, but also the government should make an effort to the protection. In the 19th century actions in the United States and certain other western countries emphasized the protection of habitat areas pursuant to visions of such people as John Muir Theodore Roosevelt. In the mid-20th century, it arises efforts to target individual species for conversation. By the 1970s, led primary by work in the United States under the Endangered Species Act along with Biodiversity Action Plans, hundreds of specific species protection plans ensued. It is clearly that the government has realized this problem long time ago, but the result is not as good as expected. Governments should give more money into the projects and provides jobs related to saving the endangered ones. In addition, laws of saving the endangered should be made. The relationship between law and ecosystem is very ancient and useful. It is related to property rights, both private and public. It can define protection for threatened ecosystems, but also some rights and duties.
In conclusion, without the social awareness of saving the endangered animal and plant species, efforts made by only a small number of people could be useless. Without the support of governments, the saving would go slowly and the result could be unexpected. Thus, the protection needs both the society and governments to react to it.

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wildblossom129
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沙发

发表于 2014-12-8 14:46:34 |只看该作者

我帮你改一些语法错误吧（简单介绍一下，我在美国上的大学，MBA，也工作了多年，英文语法应该算是没问题的

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1. "A controversy view would review that there are many social organizations calling for saving the endangered species already. Nevertheless, the number of people who respond to their calling is quite small, which represents that the society is not aware of this yet, and neither the government pay enough attention to this affair, especially not giving enough money and jobs to pull off a plan." I would say "Many social organizations push for saving endangered species. However, the number of people responding to their effort is quite small. This means society at large isn't aware of their effort and government isn't paying enough attention to this issue." 很多词是多余的
2. “Instead, take some people for instance, they eat the endangered animals as appetizing food, such as bats, pangolins, sharks, even tigers and deers whose specific organs are usually taken as health care products." I would say "Moreover, some people even consume endangered animals such as bats, sharks, tigers,....."
3. "Although many people, including the environment organizations, realize the emergence to save the endangered species, most people do not take an action." 应该说 "Although many, including environment organizations, realize the need to save endangered species, most people have not taken any action."

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