[优秀习作] issue147 [复制链接]

Aloes
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电梯直达

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发表于 2003-6-26 02:14:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue: "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between

them."

Position: It is my belief that tradition and modernization can coexist and contribute to the development of each other.

Only a society that tradition and modernization are balanced properly can develop and maximize its welfare.

Tradition and modernization are firmly inter-related each other due to the society itself. They have never been separated in any society even governments or conquerors have tried to do so. Latest ideas derived from tradition, exotic ideas need to be assimilated by the tradition, upon these ideas societies are likely to be modernized. It is the individuals who are under and for the tradition seek and find the necessity and opportunity to improve their own society, which has embodied people the common spirit--traditional spirit that identifies people as a whole and propel them to innovate the society in an advancing world. In another word, to modernize dose not means to reject but to preserve, to preserve the traditional spirit and the foundational elements of a culture, without such spirit a nation may loose the core of its own culture even if it is modern. And I doubt if without the characteristic such nation could prevent itself from being melted by exotic cultures.

There is no essential dichotomy between tradition and modernization, since the goal of change is to remain, or to preserve. It seems like that modernization emphasizes to change, while tradition is often depicted as resistance against change. Actually, it is the groups who benefit temporarily from fixed society that decline to change, not tradition itself. Thus, common conflicts in history, which are focused on in a special period of time or a special areas are always about the differences in such settings, however, when widen our view upon a long period of history, the process of modernization generally coordinated himself with tradition skillfully, though there were inevitable pains, which are consequences of bitter conflict, but origins of harmony coexist.

Beyond the conflict, tradition and modernization contributes to the development of each other. It is the protestant who terminated the government of king of England in America. But the ethic of protestant that derived from European continental culture developed the new spirit of capitalism in America. The adaptive strategy of Chinese culture, though rigid, provides enlighten intellectuals in the mission of spreading new ideology from western. Tradition is the architecture without which no value can be implemented while Modernization is a wisdom architect who maintain and renovate the building with his insight and proficiency to prevent tradition from decay. When expulsing some rotted pillars or changing a new beam, the architect seems callous, but it may ensure the pedestal of the edifice in security, even in the coming storms which is as stronger as the change of modern world.

In summary, a feasible modernization procedure functions to renovate tradition instead of perishing it. Tradition always composes of modernizations as long as it is advancing. It is as if they used to withhold each other, but the development of society is contributed by their inter-support rather than their conflict.

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paisley
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沙发

发表于 2003-6-26 04:54:58 |只看该作者

呵呵，看你的ID和寄托天下创始人adoes这么像，今天先改你的：）

Only a society that tradition and modernization are balanced properly can develop and maximize its welfare.

我觉得你的开头有点生硬，虽然说ETS最喜欢的是开门见山的表明观点，可是你这样太干巴巴了。如果就一句话，也得有点文彩啊。

Tradition and modernization are firmly inter-related （少with） each other due to the society itself. They have never been separated in any society even （少when） governments or conquerors have tried to do so. Latest ideas derived from tradition（这句最好和后半句的结构要平行，所以缺少谓语）, exotic ideas need to be assimilated by the tradition,（然后这里改成句号） upon these ideas societies are likely to be modernized. It is the individuals who are under and for the tradition seek and find the necessity and opportunity to improve their own society, which has embodied people the common spirit--traditional spirit that identifies people as a whole and propel them to innovate the society in an advancing world. In another word, to modernize dose not means（此处不应加s） to reject but to preserve, to preserve the traditional spirit and the foundational elements of a culture, without such spirit a nation may loose the core of its own culture even if it is modern. And I doubt if without（if应该去掉，两者意思一样，而且if后应该跟句子） the characteristic such nation could prevent itself from being melted by exotic cultures.

这段在说一个社会应该有革新意识，最好能在开头说明一下这个意思。

There is no essential dichotomy between tradition and modernization, since the goal of change is to remain, or to preserve. It seems like（like可去掉，seems和like的意思一样） that modernization emphasizes to change, while tradition is often depicted as resistance against change. Actually, it is the groups who benefit temporarily from fixed society that decline to change, not tradition itself. Thus, common conflicts in history, which are focused on in a special period of time or a special areas（前面是a，后面不应该有s） are always about the differences in such settings, however, when widen（应用分词形式，widening） our view（既然是our，就应该加s） upon a long period of history, the process of modernization generally coordinated himself（应是itself） with tradition skillfully, though there were inevitable pains, which are consequences of bitter conflict, but origins of harmony coexist.

这段说传统和现代化存在的必然性，以历史的观点。好。

Beyond the conflict, tradition and modernization contributes（主语是两个事物，不应该加s） to the development of each other. It is the protestant who terminated the government of king of England in America. But the ethic of protestant that derived from European continental culture developed the new spirit of capitalism in America. The adaptive strategy of Chinese culture, though rigid, provides enlighten （应是enlightened）intellectuals in the mission of spreading new ideology from western（应是west）. Tradition is the architecture without which no value can be implemented while Modernization is a wisdom architect who maintain and renovate the building with his insight and proficiency to prevent tradition from decay. When expulsing some rotted pillars or changing a new beam, the architect seems callous, but it may ensure the pedestal of the edifice in security, even in the coming storms which is as stronger（不应用比较级） as the change of modern world.

In summary, a feasible modernization procedure functions to renovate tradition instead of perishing it. Tradition always composes of modernizations as long as it is advancing. It is as if they used to withhold each other, but the development of society is contributed by their inter-support rather than their conflict.

写的不错。语言表述很清楚，思维也有深度。
不过你语法上仍然有不少细小的错误，这会严重影响你的得分。要当心一点：）
还有，关于传统与现代化，我觉得有必要定义一下。你指的到底是什么？政治？（你文中所指）文学艺术？社会风气？。。。对各个方面可能该题目的结论都不一样。比如你说反对传统的人因为他们是既得利益者。这是否适合其他领域呢？我想先界定清楚再写就容易了

UA
我说人生哪，如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景，写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章，与一个赏心悦目的人错肩，也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美，让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候，是将万里长江视为一匹白绢，裂帛。(简桢)

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