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argument149 30分钟，525words，大家来看看。 [复制链接]

limaotou
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2004-4-20 22:02:13 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

The following is a memorandum from the director of personnel to the president of Get-Away Airlines.
'Since our mechanics are responsible for inspecting and maintaining our aircraft, Get-Away Airlines should pay to send them to the Quality-Care Seminar, a two-week seminar on proper maintenance procedures. I recommend this seminar because it is likely to be a wise investment, given that the automobile racing industry recently reported that the performance of its maintenance crews improved markedly after their crews had attended the seminar. These maintenance crews perform many of the same functions as do our mechanics, including refueling and repairing engines. The money we spend on sending our staff to the seminar will inevitably lead to improved maintenance and thus to greater customer satisfaction along with greater profits for our airline.'

In the memorandum, the director of personnel recommends that Get-Away Airlines (GA) should pay to send their mechanics to a Quality-Care Seminar. To substantiate this recommendation, the director cites the successful example of the automobile racing industry. And he also shows great confidence that it will inevitably lead to improved maintenance along with greater customer satisfaction and greater profits for GA. This argument is problematic in several critical respects.

First of all, the argument relies on an unwarranted assumption that their mechanics need such improvement in maintaining and inspecting aircraft. However, there is absolutely no evidence to support this assumption. It is possible that the mechanics in the GA has achieved a certain high level and thus they do not need to attend this seminar for improvement. Without ruling out this possibility, the credibility of the argument would be seriously undermined.

In addition, this argument presumptuously assumes that the success of the automobile racing industry would definitely guarantee the success of GA in attending this seminar. Nevertheless, he has neglected the inherent discrepancy between automobiles and aircrafts which could make his argument untenable. Although the maintenance crews of automobile racing industry perform many of the same function as do their mechanics, they might be different in the structures. Or maybe the maintenance skills taught in the seminar was only useful for automobiles but not for aircrafts. If these are the cases, attending this seminar could do little help to improve the proper maintenance procedures.

Further more, the arguer has neglected the potential cost of GA to send mechanics to the seminar. Not only do they have to pay a certain amount of money for the seminar, but also they have to afford the opportunity cost for the time as long as two-week absence of the mechanics. If any unexpected problems happen in these two weeks, the GA might have even more trouble. Thus attending the seminar might cause more trouble than it solves.

Finally, the director of personnel was very optimistic to claim that after improving the maintenance, the customer satisfaction and their profit will rise up with no doubt. But this is not necessarily the case. As we know, customers care for many factors including whether the services are good or whether the airplane is on time, and etc. However, few customers would care about the maintenance of the aircraft since it has little direct relationship with them. Moreover, there are many factors which could influent the profit of GA such as the cost of fuel, the ticket price and the number of airplane takers. Thus the improvement of maintenance might not necessarily lead to greater profit as the director claims.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To better convince the president to send their mechanics to the seminar, the director of personnel should provide sufficient evidence to show that their mechanics indeed need such improvement in maintenance and this seminar will indeed help them to achieve this goal. At the same time, he has to consider how to solve the problems that the absence of mechanics will cause in the two weeks of the seminar.

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imong
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沙发

发表于 2004-4-20 22:12:36 |只看该作者

看过了。挺好的。至少5分。
倒数第三段没看太懂，原来似乎没有人这样写，不太能肯定。
评个精华。自己可以再参考参考6分的argument，自己再稍微琢磨琢磨，Argument很有希望拿六分的。
另外，标题里argument和149不要留空格。要不然别人很难通过站内搜索找到你的文章，排序也用不了。这次我改过来了。

Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

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limaotou
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板凳

发表于 2004-4-20 22:18:57 |只看该作者

嗯，谢谢imong,真是莫大鼓励啊。

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ArmArm
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地板

发表于 2004-4-20 22:35:41 |只看该作者

〉5的，研究一下看看

4 - 4.5 %60
>=5 %10
3.5 %20
<=3 %10

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mlle_hlx
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5楼

发表于 2004-8-17 18:22:41 |只看该作者

啧啧,真不错!

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mlle_hlx
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6楼

发表于 2004-8-17 18:29:01 |只看该作者

用词,语言,还有逻辑,都有可圈可点的地方.
值得学习!
那个倒数第三段说the author 没有看到培训也是要花钱的,而且维修工都去培训了,那培训期间出现维修故障可能会给公司带来很大的麻烦的.我觉得这一点提的在理.

楼主保持水平,向score 6努力!!!

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prettytiger
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7楼

发表于 2004-10-27 18:28:28 |只看该作者

第三段should be joined with 第四段, as they both argue whether or not the costs of going to seminar can be compensated by increased customer satisfaction

haha, I never think of anything funny to put here

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timbryant
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8楼

发表于 2004-12-5 03:15:58 |只看该作者

可以在第二段加上the report's trustbility problems.

爱上一座城,爱上一个人

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aic
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9楼

发表于 2005-1-4 22:55:49 |只看该作者

机会成本都用上了，学经济的吧

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梅子
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10楼

发表于 2005-2-13 22:36:10 |只看该作者

很强啊，30分钟能写这么多字。
我现在400多姿就得话1个多小时，怎么办啊
给点建议吧

我爱喝梅子红茶！

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WHUneptune
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11楼

发表于 2005-2-21 12:04:04 |只看该作者

我觉得在第3段的前面部分是否考虑还可加上如下观念:
对于automobile技术的提高作者没有给出充分的证据证明仅仅是owe to atteding that seminar, 亦可以是因为他们的技术员在近段时间参阅大量相关技术书籍来提高自己的技术水平.

还有就是我觉得第4段还是不加的好~
因为题目中并没有说要把所有的员工都同时送去学习~
所以觉得楼主这么说有点小牵强!~

仅是个人意见~ :P

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