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[活动] 进军美利坚作文10.16 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-12-4 16:53:42 |只看该作者
12.2 It is more fun to see a movie in the cinema with other people than see a movie at home./ z! ^5 F* x8 q  @" o
7 {/ [2 @  v, d: R
Going to movies become a most popular way to release our pressure and enjoy our lives. Then, where would you like to choose to spend your movie time, going to the cinema or just staying at home? As for me, I prefer to see a movie in the cinema, for I could get more fun with other people.( t6 h. x()3 `7 v
1 @9 L8 d( ~8 Z
First, cinema offers a larger place where can easily hold numerous people, anyone of you(us) has the opportunity to communicate with other people. With bigger screen and better sound apparatus, astonishing visual and sound effect are provided, leading us to an sensitive level with occasional emotion eruption. At this time, we always feel like to talk to others about particular pictures or words emerged seconds before. However, if you stay at home, especially alone, you may find no one to share with. In the other case, you are not sure that your father or other family members besides you would get the same appreciation as you. For instance, some days before, I invited my friends to see Harry Potter in the cinema, when you arrive, you will find most of people talk excitedly about clues related to Harry Potter. It's amazing! Here, we behave as funs congregating together in the cinema to share our communal eager and comments. Such a big fun cannot be gained at home.
' W' ^  h" `( c7 J  @- j/ x" o
& z! e; r7 I2 [- K9 X9 j4 eAdditionally, emotions exaggerate much easier according to people's concentration and fully devotion, like sobbing and laughing. When movie goes to a sad section, some people shed the tears incontrollably. And the grieve conference will spread, most common people will feel even sad if they hear someone cried. The same rule can be applied to the laughter. I believe most of us have the experience that when sitting in the cinema, we often laugh louder or happier at the humorous plot. In my opinion that is because we laugh together, and our happy index increases. Then we achieve evaluated emotional level and obviously get more fun.
/ G" ~+ d+ g( }; z( s

: J/ C* J% n" O5 nBesides, most people have a habit to eat popcorn and drink beverage when going to movies, it is tedious and complex to make pop-corn home. Then they would like to choose a cinema to watch movie. However, the most important reason for me to go to the cinema is that I can get more fun there than stay at home.
童鞋的文字驾驭能力很强,语言生动流畅,值得我学习,结尾再多阐述一下就更好了!赞一个~~

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发表于 2009-12-4 10:54:06 |只看该作者
Going to movies becomes a most popular way to release our pressure and enjoy our lives.[我觉得这里主语有问题啦,我想这样好些吧:helps us to enjoy our life] Then, where would you like to choose to spend your movie time, going to the cinema or just staying at home? As for me, I prefer to see a movie in the cinema, for I could get more fun with other people.

First, cinema offers a larger place where can easily hold numerous people, anyone of you[everyone] has the opportunity to communicate with other people. With bigger screen and better sound apparatus, astonishing visual and sound effect are[is] provided, leading us to an sensitive level with occasional emotion eruption. At this time, we always feel like to talk to others about particular pictures or words emerged seconds before[ago]. However, if you stay at home, especially alone, you may find no one to share. In the other case, you are not sure that your father or other family members[这里是不是有些累赘…个人建议啊] besides you would get the same appreciation as you. For instance, some days before[ago], I invited my friends to see Harry Potter in the cinema, when you arrive, you will find most of people talk excitedly about clues related to Harry Potter.[这里主语出现问题了,讲的是“我”的经历,要保持都用第一人称哦] It's amazing! Here, we behave as funs congregating together in the cinema to share our communal eager and comments. Such a big fun cannot be gained at home.

Additionally, emotions exaggerate much easier according to people's concentration and fully devotion, like sobbing and laughing. When movie goes to a sad section, some people shed the tears incontrollably. And the grieve conference will spread, most common people[这里我觉得用the majority of people好些吧] will feel even sad[even + 比较级] if they hear someone cried[crying]. The same rule can be applied to the laughter. I believe most of us have the experience that when sitting in the cinema, we often laugh louder or happier at the humorous plot. In my opinion that is because we laugh together, and our happy index increases. Then we achieve evaluated emotional level and obviously get more fun.

Besides, most people have a habit to eat popcorn and drink beverage when going to movies, it is tedious and complex to make pop-corn home. Then they would like to choose a cinema to watch movie. However, the most important reason for me to go to the cinema is that I can get more fun there than stay at home.

我觉得楼主的作文有好多很好的细节,这是优点。个人觉得还是该有个小型的结尾吧。另外要注意细节咯。
PS:谢谢你的批改哦~
愿飞跃重洋的梦想成真

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发表于 2009-12-2 16:43:26 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 shirley072 于 2009-12-2 16:44 编辑

12.2 It is more fun to see a movie in the cinema with other people than see a movie at home.

Going to movies become a most popular way to release our pressure and enjoy our lives. Then, where would you like to choose to spend your movie time, going to the cinema or just staying at home? As for me, I prefer to see a movie in the cinema, for I could get more fun with other people.

First, cinema offers a larger place where can easily hold numerous people, anyone of you has the opportunity to communicate with other people. With bigger screen and better sound apparatus, astonishing visual and sound effect are provided, leading us to an sensitive level with occasional emotion eruption. At this time, we always feel like to talk to others about particular pictures or words emerged seconds before. However, if you stay at home, especially alone, you may find no one to share. In the other case, you are not sure that your father or other family members besides you would get the same appreciation as you. For instance, some days before, I invited my friends to see Harry Potter in the cinema, when you arrive, you will find most of people talk excitedly about clues related to Harry Potter. It's amazing! Here, we behave as funs congregating together in the cinema to share our communal eager and comments. Such a big fun cannot be gained at home.

Additionally, emotions exaggerate much easier according to people's concentration and fully devotion, like sobbing and laughing. When movie goes to a sad section, some people shed the tears incontrollably. And the grieve conference will spread, most common people will feel even sad if they hear someone cried. The same rule can be applied to the laughter. I believe most of us have the experience that when sitting in the cinema, we often laugh louder or happier at the humorous plot. In my opinion that is because we laugh together, and our happy index increases. Then we achieve evaluated emotional level and obviously get more fun.

Besides, most people have a habit to eat popcorn and drink beverage when going to movies, it is tedious and complex to make pop-corn home. Then they would like to choose a cinema to watch movie. However, the most important reason for me to go to the cinema is that I can get more fun there than stay at home.

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

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发表于 2009-11-12 22:15:49 |只看该作者
Accompanying with the increasing development of economic, lots of environment problems become apparent in various aspects ofsociety. Some people, especially those (who are) engaged in environmental protection, argue that government should focus more on natural environment problems and less oneconomic developments, however, I hold a contrast idea that more attention should be pay->时态 on the latter one. Here come my reasons.开头写的很好简洁又清晰

Thank to the economic development, our lives turn to be better than ever before, filled-->觉得filling做伴随比较好 with abundant material resources. However at the same time, more and more environmental problems emerge as byproduct of this development which threaten our health directly or indirectly. As to me, a best solution is to solve these problems thoroughly without decelerating the speed of economic development--> the best solution to solve these problems is to decelerate speed of economic development. Why is that? Because, we need more fund invested-->to invest in solving the environment problems. For these problems should not be considered as (a) piece of cake, like greenhouse effect 建议从起一句, we must contemplate seriously, better make a plan with several steps to take chronologically, and arrange appropriate researchers to trace every little changes or feedbacks to our measures.前一句子貌似很长但是实际都是简单句子拼一起.建议分开 All of these need suppose of money. And essentially and importantly个人认为用一个就好, economic development could bring us more money to apply our solutions reserving the environment.

n the other hand, with the development of economic,the number of environment  problems seem to decline. Let's take China, my country, as an example. Years before,continuously suffering (from) starvation, we have no energy or conscious..?? to concern the environment pollution. My country--China at that time was filled with unprocessed..?? waste gas from heav industry or poisonous water incorrectly drained out by factories and so on. 那个时候很穷...好像没有什么工业可谈的吧..工业农业都不怎么占优势.饥饿跟工业正好相反...有工业了还怕没饭吃? I can never image how much hazards these dangerous elements made to our settings, not mention to ourselves. However, this situation extinguished because of our developed economic. Take a look at our present days, promotion of material condition strives us to concentrate on our life quality, as well as our conferences. Then, more and more environment problems are avoided artificially along with the developed economic. Follow the historical trace, we can expect more advance society with less environment problems
可以说下哪方面污染得到了提高. 例子不恰当, 不符合历史和逻辑

In conclusion, more available fund will-->用should有建议的含义 be offered ascribe to the development of economic. With theses money, we could figure out the solutions to protect environment better. Besides, we are able to avoid making the silly mistakes on settings. All in all, I believe government should focus more on economic developments and less on economic developments. 语法还好了. 内容再丰富些

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发表于 2009-11-11 23:33:35 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 DriftKing 于 2009-11-12 22:04 编辑

11.11 Governments should focus more on naturalenvironment problems and less on economic developments.% y3 h2 x9 c: e# G+ `, J

\- Z5 T
Accompanying with the increasing development of economic, lots of environment problems become apparent in various aspects ofsociety. Some people, especially those engaged in environment protection, argue that government should focus more on natural environment problems and less on economic developments, however, I hold a contrast idea that more attention should be pay on the latter one. Here come my reasons我觉得这句没必要
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5 O  [* h$ h% j& N; |

Thank to the economic development, our lives turn to be better than ever before, filled with abundant material resources. However【,】 at the same time, more and more environment problems emerge byproduct of this development【是不是were emerged会好点?】 which threaten our health directly or indirectly. As to me, a best solution is to solve these problems thoroughly without decelerating the speed of economic development. Why is that? Because, we need more fund invested in solving the environment problems. For these problems should not be considered as piece of cake, like greenhouse effect, we must contemplate seriously, better make a plan with several steps to take chronologically, and arrange appropriate researchers to trace every little changes or feedbacks to our measures. All of these need suppose of【/】 money. And essentially and importantly,【that is to say是不是好点】 economic development could bring us more money to apply our solutions reserving the environment.我觉得这一段后边的表达有些绕口,其他都非常的好

On the other hand, with the development of economic,the number of environment  problems seem to decline. Let's take China, my country, as an example. Years before可以这么用吗?,continuously suffering starvation, we have no energy or conscious【这个是形容词吧】 to concern the environment pollution. My country at that time was filled with unprocessed waste gas from heavy! industry or poisonous water incorrectly drained out by factories and so on. I can never image how much hazards these dangerous elements made to our settings, not mention to ourselves. However, this situation extinguished because of our developed economic. Take a look at our present days, promotion of material condition strives us to concentrate on our life quality, as well as our conferences. Then, more and more environment problems are avoided artificially along with the developed economic. Follow the historical trace, we can expect more advance society with less environment problems感觉和上一个观点差不多啊

  R* N8 g1 M4 F6 e1 z- s$ T, i8 Q; f
! t, B" X5 p/ R1 C6 c9 [8 p2 `  `
In conclusion, more available fund will be offered ascribe to the development of economic. With theses money, we could figure out the solutions to protect environment better. Besides, we are able to avoid making the silly mistakes on settings. All in all, I believe government should focus more on economic developments and less on economic developments.

卷卷同学的优点是很明显的,观点明确,结构紧凑,细节新颖
不过我觉得还需要注意一下问题
因为我觉得你两个观点比较相近,所以建议在想一个吧
还有就是表达有些缺少变换
当然了 即便这样 你还是做的比我好多了 向你学习!

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发表于 2009-11-11 20:20:01 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 shirley072 于 2009-11-11 20:25 编辑

11.11 Governments should focus more on naturalenvironment problems and less on economic developments.


Accompanying with the increasing development of economic, lots of environment problems become apparent in various aspects ofsociety. Some people, especially those engaged in environment protection, argue that government should focus more on natural environment problems and less oneconomic developments, however, I hold a contrast idea that more attention should be pay on the latter one. Here come my reasons.


Thank to the economic development, our lives turn to be better than ever before, filled with abundant material resources. However at the same time, more and more environment problems emerge as byproduct of this development which threaten our health directly or indirectly. As to me, a best solution is to solve these problems thoroughly without decelerating the speed of economic development. Why is that? Because, we need more fund invested in solving the environment problems. For these problems should not be considered as piece of cake, like greenhouse effect, we must contemplate seriously, better make a plan with several steps to take chronologically, and arrange appropriate researchers to trace every little changes or feedbacks to our measures. All of these need suppose of money. And essentially and importantly, economic development could bring us more money to apply our solutions reserving the environment.


On the other hand, with the development of economic,the number of environment  problems seem to decline. Let's take China, my country, as an example. Years before,continuously suffering starvation, we have no energy or conscious to concern the environment pollution. My country at that time was filled with unprocessed waste gas from heavy
industry or poisonous water incorrectly drained out by factories and so on. I can never image how much hazards these dangerous elements made to our settings, not mention to ourselves. However, this situation extinguished because of our developed economic. Take a look at our present days, promotion of material condition strives us to concentrate on our life quality, as well as our conferences. Then, more and more environment problems are avoided artificially along with the developed economic. Follow the historical trace, we can expect more advance society with less environment problems.


In conclusion, more available fund will be offered ascribe to the development of economic. With theses money, we could figure out the solutions to protect environment better. Besides, we are able to avoid making the silly mistakes on settings. All in all, I believe government should focus more on economic developments and less on economic developments.

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发表于 2009-11-6 20:05:00 |只看该作者
As far as I am concerned, correct methods and work efficiency play a crucial role in the procession of achieving success. Some people insist learning by themselves for the free arrangement of the studying time, however,we've no idea if they command efficient learning skills that help. Therefore(为什么要说因此,这里没有什么因果关系链接), I hold that it is always better to have a teacher. Here come(s) my reasons.


First and foremost, we could acquire some better systematical learning methods provided by teachers. This is an important point especially in our first contacting with unfamiliar fields. We could not even know where to begin, or which part seems to represent the main idea. All these obstacles may let you down, or force you to give up. However, if we get a teacher, situation will completely change. First, teacher is considered as a specialist in his field, that is to say, he owns a large amount of knowledge or(and) experience to share with us. Second, we can also get a full appreciation depicted by the teacher of how to commence on this subject or which part should be focused on.这句话我有点puzzle,appreciation是赞扬,欣赏的意思,depict是描绘的意思,commence是及物动词可以直接接宾语,commence 和subject我查了一下好像也不太合适 There goes a saying, everything begins with tremendous hardness.Fortunately, our teachers will help to make it easy for us to overcome this problem, and furthermore, accompany us along with his brilliant intelligence.


Secondly, according to the favor made by teachers,we could easily promote our work efficiency. For example, we always confront with some difficult concepts that seem hard to understand, not mention to apply these complicated terms in our actual life. Then you turn to a dictionary or internet in order to figure out what these mean, but as I see, the most quick (quickest)way is to ask a teacher, and there are some reasons. First, the dictionary only offers the simplest explanation about the terms which may not sufficient to help you understand, in the other side, internet is filled with explosive information which need you to go though and pick up some useful description which is obviously a time-consuming stuff. If we have a better choice, why not use it. Just bring our puzzle to teachers, they can give an answer immediately, besides, they'd like to provide more background and relative material at the same time to assist you to digest. Sometimes, you can learn more things based on their own experience which you can't find anywhere else and which may sever as an impossible measure to advance your work efficiency.

Industrious work is necessary but not enough to attain success. Thanks to the assistance from our teacher, we may get a chance to learn better, and in my opinion, this will make our road to success comparatively easier.

第一个主体段落的TS是老师交给我们的好的方法,但是段落里面的论证没有针对这个TS进行。第二个主体段落的TS是让我们工作的更有效率,可是第二段一直在说老师给我解答问题很方便。
语言基本是中译英,但是词往往的搭配不当。这个多看一些文章提高的很快的
内容逻辑问题比较大,总体比较混乱。一段定了主题句就要根据它来写。

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发表于 2009-11-5 18:08:55 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 shirley072 于 2009-11-5 18:14 编辑

11.5 Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have ateacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay.


As far as I am concerned, correct methods and work efficiency play a crucial role in the procession of achieving success. Some people insist learning by themselves for the free arrangement of the studying time, however,we've no idea if they command efficient learning skills that help. Therefore, I hold that it is always better to have a teacher. Here come my reasons.


First and foremost, we could acquire some better systematical learning methods provided by teachers. This is an important point especially in our first contacting with unfamiliar fields. We could not even know where to begin, or which part seems to represent the main idea. All these obstacles may let you down, or force you to give up. However, if we get a teacher, situation will completely change. First, teacher is considered as a specialist in his field, that is to say, he owns a large amount of knowledge or experience to share with us. Second, we can also get a full appreciation depicted by the teacher of how to commence on this subject or which part should be focused on. There goes a saying, everything begins with tremendous hardness.Fortunately, our teachers will help to make it easy for us to overcome this problem, and furthermore, accompany us along with his brilliant intelligence.


Secondly, according to the favor made by teachers,we could easily promote our work efficiency. For example, we always confront with some difficult concepts that seem hard to understand, not mention to apply these complicated terms in our actual life. Then you turn to a dictionary or internet in order to figure out what these mean, but as I see, the most quick way is to ask a teacher, there are some reasons. First, the dictionary only offers the simplest explanation about the terms which may not sufficient to help you understand, in the other side, internet is filled with explosive information which need you to go though and pick up some useful description which is obviously a time-consuming stuff. If we have a better choice, why not use it. Just bring our puzzle to teachers, they can give an answer immediately, besides, they'd like to provide more background and relative material at the same time to assist you to digest. Sometimes, you can learn more things based on their own experience which you can't find anywhere else and which may sever as an impossible measure to advance your work efficiency.


Industrious work is necessary but not enough to attain success. Thanks to the assistance from our teacher, we may get a chance to learn better, and in my opinion, this will make our road to success comparatively easier.

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发表于 2009-11-5 03:23:28 |只看该作者
Actually, knowledge can be gained either from books or from experience. As far as I am concerned, I reckon that gaining knowledge from experience is more important. Here come my reasons.开头简洁,好!

% f8 D
First and foremost, theories learned from books are not sufficient to solve all the practical problems. Take biology research as anexample. I have heard a tutor commented one of his students as a thoughtful person, who got fundamental basis through reading a large number of books and articles but at the same time didn't like to do experiments. Lack of feedback knowledge from experiences in experiment, he will never figure out the truth behind the surface. 这个例子开头引的时候很突然感觉Just as we know, practice is crucial and necessary to research. By doing experiments, we accumulate information and knowledge to continuously verify our ideas, finally we can lead a way out.这段写得不是正常水平啊。。觉得有点空呢。。

n2 y2 Z# j- g* z
Secondly, the book will not tell you every solution when you need help, comparatively, the guide这里用guide合适吗 attained from experience would offer you assistance immediately. Back to our college life, why should practice considered as an important part of our education course? Because, we must learn more knowledge directly from experience. Like communicating with people, we'd better rely on ourselves instead of finding out the exact words originating in books  when we have a chat. Once you screw it up, never mind, the fail experience you gained will remind you of what should这里按作者的意思是不是应该是shouldnot be done啊 be done when you encounter the similar problems. These things are never contained in books.


There goes a saying, Learn in Action. I believe the adage encourages us to learn in experiences. Obviously to most of people, reciting the principles in books is kind of difficult compared to acquiring the first-hand feedback knowledge in experience. So, in my opinion, knowledge gained from experience is more important.

看完觉得没有你以前写的好呢。。最然没什么语法错误但是好像词汇用得有点太突兀的感觉不是那种简单有确切的词汇。。论证还可以。。加油吧。。我也不会写啊。。

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发表于 2009-11-4 16:33:26 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 shirley072 于 2009-11-4 16:36 编辑

11.4 It has been said, "Not everything that islearned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained fromexperience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source ismore important? Why




Actually, knowledge can be gained either from books or from experience. As far as I am concerned, I reckon that gaining knowledge from experience is more important. Here come my reasons.


First and foremost, theories learned from books are not sufficient to solve all the practical problems. Take biology research as anexample. I have heard a tutor commented one of his students as a thoughtful person, who got fundamental basis through reading a large number of books and articles but at the same time didn't like to do experiments. Lack of feedback knowledge from experiences in experiment, he will never figure out the truth behind the surface. Just as we know, practice is crucial and necessary to research. By doing experiments, we accumulate information and knowledge to continuously verify our ideas, finally we can lead a way out.


Secondly, the book will not tell you every solution when you need help, comparatively, the guide attained from experience would offer you assistance immediately. Back to our college life, why should practice considered as an important part of our education course? Because, we must learn more knowledge directly from experience. Like communicating with people, we'd better rely on ourselves instead of finding out the exact words originating in books  when we have a chat. Once you screw it up, never mind, the fail experience you gained will remind you of what should be done when you encounter the similar problems. These things are never contained in books.


There goes a saying, Learn in Action. I believe the adage encourages us to learn in experiences. Obviously to most of people, reciting the principles in books is kind of difficult compared to acquiring the first-hand feedback knowledge in experience. So, in my opinion, knowledge gained from experience is more important.

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发表于 2009-10-31 16:37:06 |只看该作者
If a university plans to develop a new research center in my country, I feel like wanting(feel like 本来就有情感意思,建议这里选择其他的词语,如constructing) a center for research in agriculture. Obviously, my country, China, has redundant natural resources which contribute to the basis for the development of farming instead of business. And combining our realistic conditions, I reckon that we should explore our agriculture technology as our priority task.

First and foremost, our vast territory range provides us with more possible cultivated(cultivable) actions. In the other side, (Unfortunately更好吧)we haven't used it totally because of the limited technology.  For example, huge deserts exist in the northwest areas, and they expand year after year, turn the soil unavailable. As we all known, there is no immediate therapies (therapies是不是与前面is有点矛盾)to this problem, however at least, we may figure out how to decrease the its turning speed as long as we have a relative research center focusing on the farming problems. In addition, accompanied by the advance of agriculture technology, more farmers will be released to other fields, like service or high-tech concentrated career, I believe this will help us win the future competition in the world.

Secondly, we need to change the patter of export. Historically, China was considered as a big country with maximum raw material exporting. This characteristic made us unable to gain more trading revenue, and finally led to a low increase pace of our national economy. So, I think agriculture research center is more attractive because it is expected raised the measures to solve such those questions. Detailedly, scientists in this center may design an innovated technology to make the raw materials transit to various goods favored by other countries, improving our economic development.

As far as I am concerned, China has its unique advantage on agriculture, which we should take a reasonable use of. Thus, I prefer to construct a farming research center in my country.

总体来说,我觉得作者写的不错的。从两个角度分别说了agriculture center的重要性。在遣词方面,需要注意些,详见以上的注释。

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发表于 2009-10-31 02:06:24 |只看该作者
If a university plans to develop a new research center in my country, I feel like wanting(没听说wanting啊,seting up a center for research in agriculture.Obviously, my country, China, has redundant natural resources which contribute to the basis forof the development of farming instead of business. And combining our realistic conditions, I reckon that we should explore our agriculture technology as our priority task.

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First and foremost, our vast territory range provides us with more possible cultivated actions. In the other side, we haven't used it totally because of the limited technology.  For example, huge deserts exist in the northwest areas, and they expand year after year, turn the soil unavailable. Aswe all known, there is no immediate therapies to curethis problem, however at least, we may figure out how to decrease the its turning speed as long as we have a relative research center focusing on the farming problems. In addition,accompanied by the advance of agriculture technology, more farmers will be released to other fields, like service or high-tech concentrated career, I believe this will help us win the future competition in the world.(最后一句思维好跳跃啊,并且句子真的好长)

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Secondly, we need to change the patter of export.Historically, China was considered as a big country with maximum raw material exporting(去掉). This characteristic made us unable to gain more trading revenue, and finally led to a low increase pace of our national economy. So, I think aagriculture research center is more attractive because it is expected raised the measures to solve such those questions.(这个理由没看懂如何支持论点) Detailedly, scientists in this center may design an innovated technology to make the raw materials transit to various goods favored by other countries, improving our economic development.

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As far as Iam concerned, China has its unique advantage on agriculture, which we should take a reasonable use of. Thus, I prefer to construct a farming research centerin my country.

太晚了,大致看了下,首先你太爱写长句了,每一段都有好几个。适当的一两个就够了。要知道咱们没足够能力写出perfect的长句,写得多错的多。根据考试经验哪怕你语言平实单词不华丽,只要结构明朗逻辑合理,分数都不低。另外感觉你某些句子会乱加词,就是按中国话来描述加的词。其他没发现什么问题。至于优点我就不多少了,其实楼主功底还可以的,适当改正下定会有好成绩!

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发表于 2009-10-30 19:18:08 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 shirley072 于 2009-10-30 19:20 编辑

10.30 A university plans to develop a new researchcenter in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Otherpeople want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these twokinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specificreasons in your recommendation.


If a university plans to develop a new research center in my country, I feel like wanting a center for research in agriculture.Obviously, my country, China, has redundant natural resources which contribute to the basis for the development of farming instead of business. And combining our realistic conditions, I reckon that we should explore our agriculture technology as our priority task.
First and foremost, our vast territory range provides us with more possible cultivated actions. In the other side, we haven't used it totally because of the limited technology.  For example, huge deserts exist in the northwest areas, and they expand year after year, turn the soil unavailable. Aswe all known, there is no immediate therapies to this problem, however at least, we may figure out how to decrease the its turning speed as long as we have a relative research center focusing on the farming problems. In addition,accompanied by the advance of agriculture technology, more farmers will be released to other fields, like service or high-tech concentrated career, I believe this will help us win the future competition in the world.
Secondly, we need to change the patter of export.Historically, China was considered as a big country with maximum raw material exporting. This characteristic made us unable to gain more trading revenue, and finally led to a low increase pace of our national economy. So, I think aagriculture research center is more attractive because it is expected raised the measures to solve such those questions. Detailedly, scientists in this center may design an innovated technology to make the raw materials transit to various goods favored by other countries, improving our economic development.
As far as Iam concerned, China has its unique advantage on agriculture, which we should take a reasonable use of. Thus, I prefer to construct a farming research centerin my country.

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发表于 2009-10-30 06:26:39 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 heqiang_1001 于 2009-10-30 06:40 编辑

With the development of modern society, situation seems to be more complex than ever before. What we need is not just expanding our knowledge related to the innovated technology, but to command(?我没有查到command ability.不太确定) the ability to plan and organize."

Once you set a goal, you'd better figure out a plan to achieve it. Plan acts as a guide composed of processions which should be done step by step. An efficient plan will assist you to succeed. For example,if you want to be a biological scientist years after, obviously, you may choose to learn more subjects of biology in your college, in addition, you could schedule an appropriate time to enter a lab since biology is a practical science which requires you to test your ideas with experiments. Sequentially,combining your own advantages with the outside conditions, you might consider about continuing your career in a college or a company. Unless you have the ability to make a plan and organize it well, you will lose because of not knowing what to do

A good plan can always help you out when you get stuck. With the advent of the explosive information nowadays, environments keep changing from time to time, thus we can't make sure the conditions on our plan retains the same after several days or years. We must often check the details with our right now experiences. If the things deviate our expectations,we should set another plan or change to make up the errors. My point is,commanding an ability to plan and organize play an important part in our roads to success.这一段观点句说能够帮我们走出困境,后面的论证却说我们应该根据环境的变化时刻调整计划……有点跑了恩

There goes a saying, everything begins with tremendous hardness. However in my opinion, a better plan will make it easy. And that is why an ability to plan and organize seems to be extraordinary important.

很强大恩!第二段论证的很好,很严密,例子也很贴切。第三段稍微有点跑题。学习了很多用法。感谢。

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发表于 2009-10-30 00:48:54 |只看该作者

With the development of modern society, situation seems to be more complex than ever before. What we need is not just expanding our knowledge related to the innovated technology, but to command the ability to plan and organize.
Command用得好
Once you set a goal, you'd better figure out a plan to achieve it. Plan acts as a guide composed of processions which should be done step by step.这两句写得太好啦 An efficient plan will assist you to succeed. For example,if you want to be a biological scientist years after, obviously, you may choose to learn more subjects of biology in your college, in addition, you could schedule an appropriate time to enter a lab since biology is a practical science which requires you to test your ideas with experiments. Sequentially, combining your own advantages with the outside conditions, you might consider about continuing your career in a college or a company. Unless you have the ability to make a plan and organize it well, you will lose because of not knowing what to do.7 [#这一段写得 ]' S% \! Q; Y
这一段写得好啊。。我看了好几遍。。
A good plan can always help you out when you get stuck. With the advent of the explosive information nowadays, environments keep changing from time to time, thus we can't make sure the conditions depicted on our plan retains the same after several days or years. We must often check the details with our right now
current experiences. If the things deviate our expectations,we should set another plan or change to make up the errors. My point is,commanding an ability to plan and organize play an important part in our roads to success.
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There goes a saying, everything begins with tremendous hardness. However in my opinion, a better plan will make it easy. And that is why an ability to plan and organize seems to be extraordinary important.
写得相当好了。。语言功底很深啊。。佩服。。

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RE: 进军美利坚作文10.16 [修改]
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