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本帖最后由 DriftKing 于 2009-11-12 22:04 编辑
11.11 Governments should focus more on naturalenvironment problems and less on economic developments.% y3 h2 x9 c: e# G+ `, J
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Accompanying with the increasing development of economic, lots of environment problems become apparent in various aspects ofsociety. Some people, especially those engaged in environment protection, argue that government should focus more on natural environment problems and less on economic developments, however, I hold a contrast idea that more attention should be pay on the latter one. Here come my reasons我觉得这句没必要
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Thank to the economic development, our lives turn to be better than ever before, filled with abundant material resources. However【,】 at the same time, more and more environment problems emerge byproduct of this development【是不是were emerged会好点?】 which threaten our health directly or indirectly. As to me, a best solution is to solve these problems thoroughly without decelerating the speed of economic development. Why is that? Because, we need more fund invested in solving the environment problems. For these problems should not be considered as piece of cake, like greenhouse effect, we must contemplate seriously, better make a plan with several steps to take chronologically, and arrange appropriate researchers to trace every little changes or feedbacks to our measures. All of these need suppose of【/】 money. And essentially and importantly,【that is to say是不是好点】 economic development could bring us more money to apply our solutions reserving the environment.我觉得这一段后边的表达有些绕口,其他都非常的好
On the other hand, with the development of economic,the number of environment problems seem to decline. Let's take China, my country, as an example. Years before可以这么用吗?,continuously suffering starvation, we have no energy or conscious【这个是形容词吧】 to concern the environment pollution. My country at that time was filled with unprocessed waste gas from heavy! industry or poisonous water incorrectly drained out by factories and so on. I can never image how much hazards these dangerous elements made to our settings, not mention to ourselves. However, this situation extinguished because of our developed economic. Take a look at our present days, promotion of material condition strives us to concentrate on our life quality, as well as our conferences. Then, more and more environment problems are avoided artificially along with the developed economic. Follow the historical trace, we can expect more advance society with less environment problems感觉和上一个观点差不多啊
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In conclusion, more available fund will be offered ascribe to the development of economic. With theses money, we could figure out the solutions to protect environment better. Besides, we are able to avoid making the silly mistakes on settings. All in all, I believe government should focus more on economic developments and less on economic developments.
卷卷同学的优点是很明显的,观点明确,结构紧凑,细节新颖
不过我觉得还需要注意一下问题
因为我觉得你两个观点比较相近,所以建议在想一个吧
还有就是表达有些缺少变换
当然了 即便这样 你还是做的比我好多了 向你学习! |
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