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[a习作temp] ARGUMENT 6 酒香作文小组 chenz09第1次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-10-6 23:18:01 |只看该作者 |正序浏览
ARGU 6
BY chenz09

The loan applicant, merely based on the unfounded assumption and illogical reasoning ,claims that A jazz music club in Monroe would be a profitable enterprise. To substantiate this conclusion, he points out that there is no jazz club around Monroe. In addition, he indicates last summer lots of people attend Monroe`s jazz festival and cites the statistics that a jazz fan spends $1000 per year on jazz. The argument suffers from several problems, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the applicant claim that a jazz club in Monroe would be promising and would have the local market all to itself. At first glance, the nearest club is 65 miles away, there would be no competitors here and the C Note would have the local market all to itself. However, no clubs here also suggests that no demands here. The applicant doesn`t give the persuasive evidence or survey statistics to the demands of jazz club here. The only nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment, but the nationwide study may not reflect the conditions of this specific area. Although a typical jazz fan in Monroe costs such much per year on jazz, he may spend money on improving devices ,which needn`t a jazz club, to listen to the “Jazz Nightly”. Although a typical jazz fan urge a jazz club in Monroe, the applicant can`t assure there is adequate jazz fans here. Since things will be changed from last summer to future and people may come from somewhere far away from Monroe, it would be strongly undermined that the fact that last summer`s jazz festival appeals to people indicates lots of jazz fans and much demand of club. Since it is possible that musicians who live in Monroe usually perform in another place, it would be undermined that several well-known jazz musicians here indicates much demand of club and much attractive to people.

Another important point which is easily consigned to be oblivion is that profit is equal to revenue subtract costs. Based on this common sense, even assuming the C Note club here would have affluent revenue, in itself, doesn`t suffice to prove that the C Note can be profitable. For instance, to set up the C Note jazz club, it is necessary to rend houses, decorate the clubs, buy audio equipment and instrument like guitar ,bass and drums. The costs of all of this may be very high so that the club can not make money. Anyway, the applicant provides no credible and adequate evidence that this is not the case. Besides, a myriad of other unexpected occurrences, such as unfavorable economic depression, might prevent the jazz club from being as profitable as the applicant predicts.

In conclusion, the applicant`s argument is not cogent, because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn`t lend strong support to what the arguer support. To strengthen it the applicant must provide more convincing evidence that there are a lot of people in Monroe are jazz fans and they definitely need a jazz club for communication and amusement. To better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the potential market in Monroe of jazz club. We also need to precisely evaluate the exact costs of running this club—for example, the rent, the decoration cost and even the cost of the brand.
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发表于 2010-10-7 16:00:54 |只看该作者
1# chenz09
The loan applicant, merely based on the unfounded assumption and illogical reasoning ,claims that A jazz music club in Monroe would be a profitable enterprise. To substantiate this conclusion, he points out that there is no jazz club around Monroe. In addition, he indicates last summer lots of people attend Monroe`s jazz festival and cites the statistics that a jazz fan spends $1000 per year on jazz. The argument suffers from several problems, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
First of all, the applicant claimS that a jazz club in Monroe would be promising and would have the local market all to itself. At first glance, the nearest club is 65 miles away, there would be no competitors here and the C Note would have the local market all to itself. However, no clubs here also suggests that no demands here. The applicant doesn`t give the persuasive evidence or survey statistics to the demands of jazz club here. The only nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment, but the nationwide study may not reflect the conditions of this specific area. Although ?(EVEN THOUGH) a typical jazz fan in Monroe costs such much per year on jazz, he may spend money on improving devices ,which needn`t a jazz club, to listen to the “Jazz Nightly”. Although a typical jazz fan urge a jazz club in Monroe, the applicant can`t assure there is adequate jazz fans here. Since things will be changed from last summer to future and people may come from somewhere far away from Monroe, it would be strongly undermined that the fact that last summer`s jazz festival appeals to people indicates lots of jazz fans and much demand of club. Since it is possible that musicians who live in Monroe usually perform in another place, it would be undermined that several well-known jazz musicians here indicates much demand of club and much attractive to people.
Another important point which is easily consigned to be oblivion is that profit is equal to revenue subtract costs. Based on this common sense, even assuming the C Note club here would have affluent revenue, in itself, doesn`t suffice to prove that the C Note can be profitable. For instance, to set up the C Note jazz club, it is necessary to rend houses, decorate the clubs, buy audio equipment and instrument like guitar ,bass and drums. The costs of all of this may be very high so that the club can not make money. Anyway, the applicant provides no credible and adequate evidence that this is not the case. Besides, a myriad of other unexpected occurrences, such as unfavorable economic depression, might prevent the jazz club from being as profitable as the applicant predicts.
In conclusion, the applicant`s argument is not cogent, because the evidence cited in the analysis doesn`t lend strong support to what the arguer support. To strengthen it the applicant must provide more convincing evidence that there are a lot of people in Monroe are jazz fans and they definitely need a jazz club for communication and amusement. To better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the potential market in Monroe of jazz club. We also need to precisely evaluate the exact costs of running this club—for example, the rent, the decoration cost and even the cost of the brand.


我没咋改。。。你写的太多了。。少一百字差不多了。。。

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RE: ARGUMENT 6 酒香作文小组 chenz09第1次作业 [修改]
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