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[习作点评] argument处女作,求使劲拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-5-6 23:18:08 |只看该作者 |正序浏览
5.27G 小女argue处女作
题目A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. At present, the nearest jazz club is over 60 miles away from Monroe; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. In addition, there is ample evidence of the popularity of jazz in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly.' Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. We therefore predict that the C Note cannot help but make money."
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   In this application,the group of developers comes to conclude that a jazz music club in Monroe would beatremendously profitable enterprise.To justify the claim,the developers points out that there is no other competitors in the city.The developers also cite that jazz music is very popular due to several reasons andjazz fan would like to spend money on jazz entertainment.Close scrutiny of this argument reveals that it is unconvincing in several aspects.
   First and foremost,the nearest jazz club is over 60 miles away from Monroe do not necessarily indicate that they would have the local market all to itself.Perhaps  another group of developers is also planning to open a jazz club like the C Note which will definitely divide
the market.Thus,without ruling out other possible reasons ,the developers cannot convince me that the local market will be all to itself,let alone jazz music club would be a tremendously profitable enterprise.

   In addition,I cast doubt on the popularity of jazz music in Monroe.Maybe the annual jazz festival and highest-rated radio program Jazz Nightly can account for the popularity.However,it is likely that most people are from other cities.Even if all people are native,they possibly participate by force.And since the developers don't tell me the total number of Monroe's population,maybe 100,000 is just a minority thus cannot represent the whole city's propensity.Moreover,the developers don't provide evidence that citizens give high rate to Jazz Nightly just because they like to listen to it.It is entirely possible that other radio program are so terrible that they have to choose Jazz Nightly the best one.Given that citizens really like Jazz Nightly ,it does not indicate that they would like to go out to hear live jazz music.Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the radio program will be a competent for C Note club.Nor does the mere fact that several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe lend significant support to the developers' claim.It is possible that they live in Monroe just because of its comfortable environment.Moreover,things might even be the contrary.It is just because that people in Monroe don't interest
in jazz music thus they don't so familiar with the musicians,musicians can free from being bothering by fanatic fans.

   Finally,the developers provide no evidence that the nationwide study can typify the Monroe's residents,so I cannot be convinced that Monroe's residents would like to spend close to $1000 per year on jazz entertainment.Even if they do spend so much money on jazz entertainment,it is little indication that they wouldgive money to listen live jazz music in C Note.
   In sum,the application is invalid and misleading.To make it logically acceptable,the developers would have to substantiate that most people go to the jazz festival are native and that the people who listen to Jazz Nightly would like to listen live jazz music.Moreover,I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of this argument until the developers can provide more information about why several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe and whether the Monroe's residents would like to spend that money listening to live jazz music.(510)
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