[急求帮助，不胜感激]20号就考作文了，贴篇我的作文，请大家帮忙看下有什么应该改

prairieUID: 188930

179"What most human beings really want to attain is not knowledge, but certainty. Gaining real knowledge requires taking risks and keeping the mind open—but most people prefer to be reassured rather than to learn the complex and often unsettling truth about anything."
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人类真正需要的不是知识，而是对事物的确定性。真正地获得知识是需要冒险的，并且要有开放的思想，但是大多数人寻求的只是一个安定，而不是去学习复杂的，甚至未解的真理
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我的作文：

   "The magic parts of attaining new knowledge are the process of hypothesis and substantiation", said by a famous scientist. As it goes, if we expect to assimilate real knowledge, we ought to keep our mind open while getting prepared for the risks to come. Some people probably would find it difficult and complicated in gaining real knowledge since there are enormous uncertainties, thus they just require the reassured results settled by others. This manner is surely unacceptable, for the simple reason that there would be no truth without the processing of supposing and convincing. Also this process will allow people learn information effectively. Human beings would have to attain this process in order to gain new knowledge.

    As we know, only by substantiating are we able to arrive at the fruit of certainty. In other words, no investigation, no truth. Take the research in physics for example. It is well-known that Einstein is one of the greatest scientists in the world, and his principle of relativity has experienced a rough way to reach the confirmation by most physicians. Before Einstein everybody believed in authoritative dynamics and most physicians consider Einstein's theory to be ridiculous. Accordingly, if it was not for the effort made by Einstein, and if it was not for the persistence of Einstein, the truth would have been concealed for more than 100 years. For another example, Mendel spent several years on convincing his assumption in genetics, which had been questioned and unaccepted for decades. We would have neglected Mendelism if Mendel and the biologists afterwards were unwilled to convince this unsettled truth. As a result, truth is not attained easily. Both courage in confronting the risks and perseverance in settling the theory lead us to the gaining of knowledge.

    The process of learning the complex and confronting numerous risks would promote people to absorb knowledge more effectively. People could not learn the truth well unless he learns it from beginning to the end, sometimes they would even have to implement or redo the process. For example, students with the major of mathematics will often confront a variety of complex theories or expressions, the most effective method to understand and remember these is to deduce these expressions again by themselves. Also, students doing biology experiments have to do the job with full attention although they have already known the results expected. Moreover, the process of settling risks and learning complex stimulate people to think, which will bring interest and joy to those who finally reach the truth. In other words, it is acceptable for the people to gain knowledge by trying to learn the complex and handle the risks by themselves.

    Admittedly, people do not have to attain all knowledge by the process mentioned above, since there are immense varieties of knowledge in the world and people are short of time and effort. For the knowledge that does not need great attention since they are of other fields, people could probably know the simple conclusion or theory. For the knowledge that is primary and essential for study and work, people would have to learn them attentively, not satisfying with a simple attainment in the fruit. However, the above suggestions do not mean that it is acceptable to be the most common way by which people attain knowledge that they just learn the assured certainty.

    In summary, the presumption, which what most human beings really expect to attain is not knowledge but certainty, is unacceptable. Also, the repulsion of confronting risks and keeping the mind open will not lead to a sound and effective studying circumstance. Again, people who really expect to understand the truth in detain have to learn the complex and try to handle the unsetting truth. Thus, the most acceptable way of gaining real knowledge is to think, learn complex and handling risks, not merely by waiting for the certainty.

prairieUID: 188930

谢谢你：）
请问结构和用语习惯上有什么很大的问题吗？

lakeqianUID: 157560

This manner is surely unacceptable和题目有关系吗？题目是说人们的某种偏好，你在论述这种倾向是否正确。，而且你直接承认了：thus they just require the reassured results settled by others。