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[同主题写作] 0610G同主题写作第四期——argument53 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-19 23:46:55 |只看该作者 |正序浏览
风黑月高啊,电脑里面传来了急促的滴滴滴声音。嗯?+的指示。U,Argu53。ok。My turn。来,掌声,鲜花,灯光,尖叫,板砖,炸弹.................

[题目]
53.Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

[翻译]
13年前,研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕,而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中,这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然,出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。


[出现频率]
06年1-4月出现25次。加上05年一些统计,总共超过38次。从机经上看,这个题目出现的还不是太多,算不上最高频率的题。不过有一点小小的难度。因此本期我们就这个题目作为argument同主题写作。

[题目分析]
此题目虽然前面的前提、假设等看来比较繁琐,但是结论还是很好找到的,就是最后一句话:Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.即本文论断:出生前某素的高含量会使婴儿害羞,而且这种害羞会继续。

前提1
13年前的研究

推论1
早秋怀孕和某种激素

前提2
跟踪调查

[逻辑关系]
(前提1)13年前的,25个婴儿的研究结论——〉(推论1)与早秋怀孕和当时分泌的某种激素有关系——〉(结论前半部分)某种激素增加导致婴儿羞涩。
(前提2)跟踪调查婴儿成年后的情况——〉(结论后半部分)羞涩会持续。

[详细分析]
Ok,这样题目的逻辑关系就很清楚了。为何分析以后觉得题目似乎变简单了??嗯,说明A并不是难的。大家只要头脑清楚,考试A就是拿分的地方。言归正传,继续分析如何攻击。

攻击就是挑错误,找茬,扁人:D
首先回答一个问题:是否攻击都是按照题目出现顺序?
以下是酸奶的话,梳理清楚题目的思路,攻击起来就容易了。提醒大家注意的是,安排攻击顺序的时候不要受到逻辑错误在题目中出现顺序的影响。在某些题目里(比如这道题),逻辑顺序和书面顺序是重合的,但是在其他一些题目里,特别是文章比较长,出现很多错误的argument,逻辑顺序和书面顺序就不一定一致了。大家在写argument的时候,应该从最基础的错误开始攻击。如果一个错误的成立是另一个错误的前提,那么显然应该先攻击前一个,这和盖房子的道理一样。

Now, let’s begin.(废话真多啊,嗯,不知道今天各位那里天气如何?)
1.前提1:Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice.
分析:简要的说,这就是一个最明显的survey错误。首先我们可以说此调查毫无可信力。
A. 首先样本不够,可能其他的大部分孩子都活的白白胖胖的。
B. 其次随机度不够,也许25个不幸的孩子是由于某种特殊生长环境造成的,医疗设备比较差,健康状态不好。或者也许是当时护理比较差,出生以后婴儿的照顾不够好而造成休息不好啊压力上升阿或者总是关在一个特别的环境里等原因。
C.就算害羞也可能是自然反应,成年人对于特别气味等东西都有一定程度的反应,何况是小白的婴儿。

2.推论1:They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight.
分析:此论断忽略了一个前提,就是某素是否会导致婴儿害羞。论者没有提供任何对某素的科学研究,以说明某素的功能或是作用是什么。论者甚至没有提供资料证明某素是否会对婴儿产生影响。虽然论者说某素是一种对某些大脑功能有影响的荷尔蒙,但并没有告诉我们这种影响是对母亲,还是对胎儿。因此论断的论据没有说服力。
A.首先,仅仅是说明more likely是。可能还有其他没有调查出来的原因比如说其他元素,DNA缺陷等等。因此,某素是否有效成疑。
B.其次,就算某素的确有效。也许它的益处大于坏处。是药3分毒嘛。不能说任何东西有缺陷就一定不是好的。

3.前提2:In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy.
分析:在跟踪研究中,论者没有提供有关这些孩子在这十几年里的生活环境的资料,我们不能排除环境对孩子性格的影响。性格的形成有很多原因,后天的环境与经历也非常重要。
A.首先,孩子们可能在婴儿时期并不害羞(虽然被调查结论假定为害羞),而是由于后天的经历(比如说失恋,失学,失去人生理想,失去活下去动力。又扯远了呵呵)造成的。
B.其次,调查过程中可能调查者有意隐瞒了the opposite ones.可能当初很多害羞的婴儿,长大后很brave,open,bright什么的。而且可能这个比例在当初调查的样本里很高。反而说明了某素的好处。

Time's up,分析就到这里,希望能有抛砖引玉的作用。大家还有什么想法,欢迎来信来函讨论(客套话,别骚扰我):)。
注意:我举的一些情况和例子不是都可以用进去的,大家斟酌使用。不然考试扣分别赖我头上:lol:lol

本题目的习作论坛里面不多,大家可以看看。没有毛病的优秀习作个人没有找到,希望大家能整几篇出来;P真得不错的,可以加精。

最后,请不要在这里贴自己的习作,请将习作发表在坛子里面,然后将链接贴进来.除了习作链接之外,更欢迎大家把对于题目的想法拿出来讨论,让大家分享你的独特见地。

发帖请按照家园规则要求发,不然直接给与删除,不要哭。这里已经警告过了,删除不再详细解释。在本主题后面发帖者,作文版自动默认你同意并遵守此规则。https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... &extra=page%3D1

好了,祝大家考场上A53顺利通过:victory:Auf Wiedersehen!
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53
发表于 2006-9-5 16:19:33 |只看该作者
欢迎互拍,虽然来晚了点
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D2#pid1769036989
身体只是借代品

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发表于 2006-8-8 12:04:58 |只看该作者

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发表于 2006-8-7 13:08:56 |只看该作者

我的文

来得晚了些,来拍
outline:
A: the survey lack representibility.
B: over generalize the melatonin's role
C: teenagers' mental conditions may have other factors
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=509314&extra=page%3D1

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发表于 2006-7-30 17:37:49 |只看该作者

大家帮改改吧,留地址回拍~~

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发表于 2006-7-25 23:33:19 |只看该作者

过去这么久了,现在还有写的吗??

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发表于 2006-7-25 19:01:14 |只看该作者
占座,不知道会不会太晚了

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发表于 2006-7-24 15:55:52 |只看该作者

还有十几天就考了,希望高手赐教。

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发表于 2006-7-23 21:19:45 |只看该作者
突然发现写argument还是蛮有趣的,同志们拍吧!

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1768860104

[ 本帖最后由 morallrey 于 2006-7-23 23:22 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-7-23 20:53:54 |只看该作者
http://edu.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=499047&extra=page%3D1
交作业!帮改的请留自己的连接哈!互改加油!

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Golden Apple

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发表于 2006-7-22 17:47:19 |只看该作者
44楼的不要发到这里啊 .

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发表于 2006-7-22 16:43:50 |只看该作者

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发表于 2006-7-22 16:18:55 |只看该作者
恩,第一次交作业,有点超时。

提纲:
1。study的有效性
2。13年前的study结果不能够说明是hormone导致了shy。
3。同样,follow-study也不能说明结论。(1)shy是children自己认为的。(2)shy很可能不是由于早期的hormone导致的。




TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice.

They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight.

In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 492          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2006-7-22

In this editorial, the author conclude that it is the increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness would go on into their later life. To strengthen this conclusion, the author cites a study held thirteen years ago and a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, however, these studies can not well support the conclusion, and the editorial is based on a series unconvincing assumption and reasoning.

In the first place, the study conducted thirteen years ago was based on a group of 25 infants. From the editorial we get the only information that they are all showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. However, other basic information, such as their birthday, their sex, and where they are from, was not provided. Moreover, the sample of 25 infants is too short to make the result convincing, for the sample of infants should be sufficient large. Without such information, the conclusion from this study can not be convincing. Moreover, the study should be conducted on a controlled environment, and all relative factors should be considered.

In the second place, even the 25 infants in the first study did statistically represent all of infants, the assumption from the study that the distress of these infants is caused by the increasing melatonin of their mother, is not convincing. First, the author assumes that the melatonin produced by mothers in autumn would surely affect their infants, but he did not cite sufficient evidence to prove it. Second, the author assumes it is melatonin that caused the distress of infant. From the evidence presented, we can only be convincing that the melatonin and distress of infant only has a correlation, not a cause-result correlation. Without sufficient evidence, we can not be convincing as it claims.

In the third place, considering the follow-up study, the editorial has made a series assumption. First, the result of this study was based on self-identified of these children who show signs. But whether a child is shy should be based on an object test or observation, not by child's own thought. Without consider such factors, it is totally possible that the children who identified themselves as shy are not shy in fact. Second, the author also assume that the shy was caused by melatonin when they were conceived. However, there is no evidence to support this assumption. Without sufficient evidence, the shy of these children may be formed after their birth, and was shaped by the society. In short, without necessary evidence to support the assumption, the author can not conclude from the mere suspected follow-up study.

In sum, in the basis of discussion above, the conclusion of this editorial is unconvincing in several aspects. To strengthen it the author should provide more evidence to ensure that these two studies are statistically conducted and their result are well reasoned. Moreover, the author should provide sufficient evidence to support his assumption from these two studies.

[ 本帖最后由 hustmen 于 2006-7-22 16:55 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-7-21 21:13:25 |只看该作者
占座
交作业
    1 不熟悉的刺激可能会导致所有婴儿有轻微紧张的表现
    2 实验中只有25名婴儿作为样本,不科学
    3 M激素:(1)影响哪些脑功能?是否和shyness有关
         (2)影响谁的脑功能?妈妈的还是婴儿的?
         (3)如果和日长有关 为什么不更多在冬天受孕?
    4 性格很大程度受后天影响

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 guochenfu 于 2006-7-22 00:06 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-7-21 18:25:14 |只看该作者
交作业

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1


提纲:
1结论夸大了研究结果,研究中只提到这些婴儿是在早秋conceived,而早秋褪黑素在母体增加。但结论在时间范围上延长到了整个怀孕期,褪黑素的增加都会起作用。
2文章中没有提供明确的信息证明褪黑素与婴儿紧张的关系。他因指出这些婴儿应在是在相邻的一两年conceied,所以不能排除环境因素。
3第二个结论,成长中的外因影响。因为这些孩子是被跟踪调查,以前的调查对他们有心理暗示作用

[ 本帖最后由 geniego 于 2006-7-21 19:54 编辑 ]

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RE: 0610G同主题写作第四期——argument53 [修改]
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