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haomiUID??2219690

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer..

Technology never fails to arouse controversy since its born, a good example can illustrate this point is the technology of colon, whether it can bring benefits to humankind or destroy our normal life are always argued by various sections of scientists, with no exception the area of knowledge also exist an debate if technology can help us learn more information or learn it quickly?

In my opinion, I will desperately support that technology, which as a assistant apparatus play a significant role in the possess of acquiring information and knowledge. One of the most compelling evidence is the more ways to the gateway of knowledge and information was created by the advanced technology. For example, besides the printing records, the invention of photography provide us photographic records and digital data so that we can learn information and knowledge not only by words but also by image, even according to scientific fact that the image usually can deliver a deeper impression to us.

Another aspect convinces me to agree that point is technology built more place so that we can acquire more knowledge and information. That is the computer, with the help of computer, we make the digital library and electronic library come true, so that except common library and bookstore, there are more choices were available to us when we want to look for some information and knowledge.

I know the more information and knowledge does not mean we will absolutely learn it quicker since the quantity can not always assure the speed, Therefore if we can learn the things quicker than we thought is still to be open. Fortunately, because the search engineer make information more systematic, the outstanding search website such as google, yahoo, and baidu, serve as knowledgeable teacher always give us the most timely and reliable help, the internet reduce the distance between the whole world in largest degree so that we can seek most intelligent assist in shortest time, obviously, technology also not disappoint us in the speed of acquiring the information and knowledge.

Although technology cost us a lot of precious energy and power, it produce much of harmful radiation on human beings, although it not perfect as we expected, it is no deny that technology as a good server, facilitate us to acknowledge more information and knowledge with faster speed, more definite fact is with the development of technology, its performance would be better!

haomiUID??2219690

i'm so appreciate of your help, i'll try my best to absorb these precious advice, thanks a thousand

jiang08UID??2391146

原帖由 haomi于 2007-9-5 23:34 发表

Technologynever fails to arouse controversy since its born（born形容词，beginning）, agood example can illustrate this point is the technology of colon, whether itcan bring benefits to humankind or destroy our normal life are always argued byvarious sections of scientists, with no exception thearea of knowledge also exist an debate if technology can help us learn moreinformation or learn it quickly?（clone注意拼写根话题没什么关系，反而让人不知道论点在那里）

Inmy opinion, I will desperately support that technology, which as a assistantapparatus play a significant role in the possess of acquiring information andknowledge. One of the most compelling evidence is the more ways to the gatewayof knowledge and information was created by the advanced technology.（前两句ms是一个意思，罗嗦了）Forexample, besides the printing records, the invention of photography provide usphotographic records and digital data so that we can learn information andknowledge not only by words but also by image, even （不用even，没有这种承接关系）according to scientificfact （用research更好一点，毕竟不是地球绕着太阳转。。）that the image usually can deliver a deeper impression（搭配有误，deliver more information/message, leave a deeper impression on） to us.

Another aspect convinces me to agree thatpoint is technology built more place(这句没看懂)so that we can acquire more knowledge andinformation. That is the computer, with the help of computer, （这个写法很不好，让人觉得你是在对着麦克风纠正口误）we make the digital library and electronic （digital够了）library come true, so thatexcept （不是except，besides）common （conventional传统的）libraryand bookstore, there are more choices were（were去掉） available to us when wewant to look for some（有点口语，whenwe are in search of）information and knowledge.(看这段发现lz有个习惯，宾语喜欢两个连着一起用~有时候没必要)I know the more information and knowledge does not mean （口语句式，要改does not necessarily lead to the conclusion一类的）we will absolutely learn it quicker（more quickly）since the quantity can not always assure the （ensure，the不要）speed, Therefore if we can learn the things quickerthan we thought is still to be open.（诡异的话~看不懂）Fortunately,because the search engineer make information more systematic, the outstandingsearch website such as google, yahoo, and baidu, serve as knowledgeable teacher（缺who）always give us the most timely and reliable help, the internet reduce thedistance between the whole world in largest degree so that we can seek mostintelligent assist in shortest time（加period，或者least time）, obviously, technology also not disappoint us（太中了，lz自己看看句子结构吧） in the speed of acquiringthe information and knowledge.Although technology cost us a lot of precious energy andpower, it produce much of harmful radiation on human beings, although it notperfect as we expected, （之前没有提到缺点就不要再conclusion里面写，还有连着两个although的句型肯定有误，缺后半句）it is no deny （denying）that technology as a good server,（可以不要）facilitate us to acknowledge more information and knowledge （动词用acquire/attain，又是两个宾语没啥必要）withfaster speed, more definite fact is（是不是说“可以肯定的是”，We can safely predict/conclude that）with the development of technology, its performance would be better!

每一条论点还可以再展开得更充分一点，比如第一个不止是图像，还 可以补充别的multi-media such as video clips, etc。第二条也许可以说online courses什么的。第三条也许可以和traditionalapproach作个比较（比如问老师要appointment很慢拉什么的）全篇里面make, get出现次数太多，可以多用点最后一段那个facilitate一类的还有就是模版的痕迹问题。。。头上用得太多（冗余），之后的语言就越来越随意了，句子结构也开始有问题。（就是头重脚轻拉~）用模版的话最好平均一 点，比如每段的topic sentence也来点（不重复得前提阿~），还有conclusion，这样不会让人觉得虎头蛇尾

x-sharpUID??2334788

It's not bad except from some tiny mistake~
It seems that the 1st paragraph is a bit of surplus in some degree~
Otherwise~the utilities of the examples u used are possible finite~
I would suggest that u could sum up your holding ground in the head of the article if u can regadless the offending of mine~:)