【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 bb980 第二十次作业】

bb980UID: 2527518

With the contemprory society of rapidly development,more and more information can be  recieved by means of radio,televison or Internet.Therefore,people are able to know some significant news in the world which are shaking them deeply and unforgetablely.Only in the way can people experience the reality as well as not only the events,happening around us,but also the whole society.So,with all aspects carefully considered,I am in favor of thhe vie that knowing some incidents is important though sometimes they are not indispensable for us.
    Some people may doubt why should I know about the thing that not influence my daily life.Just wasting time and energy as gained nothing.However,on the other hand,caring more about these events can even gives you more knowledge and teach you the relationships of the human beings.For example,it has a violent earthquake last year on May 12th.Millions of people died in a such disaster in a sudden.Nevertheless,under the calamity,there are still having some moving things such as a teacher sacrificed in order to let the whole class runaway,the soldier went to save others but his famili were caught in the disaster,a kid rescue more than ten children without hesitating of self-safety,just digging by his hands and so on.Have you ever conjured up these amazing spiritual miracles before?
    In addition,reality things also have other advantages for individuals.Just like studying,does it everything we studyed is helpful to the future?Absolutely not.Exactly, most of them are useless but they teached us the strategy of doing things.So the same as the events which happening around world nonetheless affect people's daily lives.
    To sum up,it is indispensable for people to care more affaiirs of the world though it is not able to influence our lives!



啊...这次赶完的，没时间了，要去学校了，估计字数也不够！
哎...快期中考了！
还是请大家多多批评~！！！

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

都是写作小组，大家一起加油努力哈

bb980UID: 2527518

谢谢,改的很仔细啊~!自愧不如…恩,大家一起加油吧!十分感谢哈,我又学会了很多…!

nlhustUID: 2404239

楼主应该再多花点工夫在语法上，毕竟这也是评分的关键点
另外觉得这篇文章的论证太单薄了，第三段没有很好的展开，还需多加努力！！
本人水平有限， 有什么疏漏或改错的地方还望指出，大家一起加油啦！！！

nlhustUID: 2404239

With the contemprory (contemporary) society of rapidly (rapid) development,more and more information can be  recieved by means of radio,televison or Internet.Therefore,people are able to know some significant news in the world which are shaking them deeply and unforgetablely(unforgettably).Only in the way (似乎不能这样用) can people experience the reality as well as not only the events,happening around us,but also the whole society(改成Only in this way can people experience the reality, not only the events happening around us but also the whole society) .So,with all aspects carefully considered,I am in favor of thhe vie that knowing some incidents is important though sometimes they are not indispensable for us(indispensable to sb.; indispensable for sth.)

Some people may doubt why should I know about the thing that (does) not influence my daily life.Just wasting time and energy as gained nothing.(语法错误) However,on the other hand,caring more about these events can even gives you more knowledge and teach you the relationships of the human beings.For example,it has a violent earthquake last year on May 12th.Millions of people died in a such disaster (such 能这样用吗？such a disaster) in a sudden.Nevertheless,under the calamity,there are still having (去掉) some moving things such as a teacher sacrificed in order to (直接用to) let the whole class runaway, the soldier went (going) to save others but (left) his famili were(去掉) caught in the disaster,a kid rescue(rescuing) more than ten children without hesitating of self-safety,just digging by his hands and so on(前面有such as，就不用写and so on 了).(前面这一句如果不这样改的话是有语法错误的，希望楼主好好看看) Have you ever conjured up these amazing spiritual miracles before?（这一句向楼主学习）



In addition,reality things also have other advantages for individuals. Just like studying,does it (去掉)everything we studyed is helpful to the future?Absolutely not.Exactly, most of them are useless but they teached us the strategy of doing things.So the same as the events which happening around world nonetheless affect people's daily lives.

To sum up,it is indispensable (首段用过这个词，这里最好换个同义词) for people to care more affaiirs of the world though it is （they are）not able to influence our lives!