argument55 第一篇argument

一朵盛开的牛粪UID: 182912

"Commuters are complaining that the rush hour traffic on Blue Highway between Shady Village and Bright City has doubled their commuting time. Some commuters have asked that an additional traffic lane be built, but the recent creation of such a lane on nearby Green Highway apparently attracted more commuters, judging from the fact that rush-hour traffic jams actually increased there this past winter. To reduce rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway, a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane. This approach will succeed because many citizens of Shady Village are avid bicyclists; 75 percent of respondents to a recent questionnaire distributed there said they would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently do."

The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well reasoned. By making comparison the Green Highway, this Highway with an additional traffic lane and subsequently more commuters and traffic jams, with the Blue Highway, which is asked to build an addition traffic line, the arguer concludes such a line actually increases rush-hour traffic, so a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane in order to reduce rush-hour traffic.

First of all, the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives to the increasing rush-hour traffic after building the lane nearby Green Highway. Such alternatives may include there are more factories and companies near the highway, and it is the sole way for a lot people to go work from their homes. It is possible that there are more people to buy cars in the region near Green Highway than before without such a lane. In addition, the past winter period is not particularly enough long to make us believe an additional traffic line increasing the rush-hour jams. Maybe, in the winter, it is so cold that many people go out by car rather than by other transportations. All of these may be the reasons for the increasing rush-hour jams, but not just the additional traffic line. Meanwhile, the demographics of population are important. It is possible there are more people in the zone of Green Highway than of Blue Highway. To build only one traffic lane can not deduce the rush-hour jams in the region of Green Highway, but it may deduce the rush-hour jams in the region of Blue Highway.

Second, although many citizens of shady village are avid bicyclists, they may don't like riding to work. They like riding only as a sport exercises at their spare time. The above questionnaire result in the argument is not credible. They may survey a very small part of shady village citizens, and maybe only a few of people who took part in the questionnaire respond to it. In addition, even if 75 percent of respondents said they would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently, we should not believe they would go work by bikes instead of cars. Another reason is that they currently bicycle few hours, and therefore they would like bicycling more hours.

Overall, in order to solve the problem of traffic on Blue Highway, the governments of Shady Village and Bright City should evaluate all possible causes for the rush-hour jams, and survey the difference between the Blue Highway and the Green Highway, then to make a right decision according to the citizens' requirement.

xiaoheUID: 162707

不好意思，argument我还没看，一无所知，暂时就不胡说了吧。等我先找到一点issue的感觉再说。

版上其他的G友快来帮牛粪MM改改吧。

一朵盛开的牛粪UID: 182912

呵呵，多谢小河姐姐了，最近大概大家都是写issue的，没人改argument 呢

mack1983UID: 183345

偶明天胡说好了

zzfalconUID: 175235

The argument is well presented, but not thoroughly well （是不是有些多余？）reasoned. By making comparison the Green Highway, this Highway with an additional traffic lane and subsequently more commuters and traffic jams, with the Blue Highway, which is asked to build an addition traffic line, the arguer concludes such a line actually increases rush-hour traffic, so a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane in order to reduce rush-hour traffic. （comparison 是要between A and B）

First of all, the arguer is failing to consider other possible alternatives(词不妥) to the increasing （of） rush-hour traffic after building the lane nearby Green Highway. Such alternatives may include there are more factories and companies near the highway, and it is the sole way for a lot people to go work from their homes. It is possible that there are more people to buy cars in the region near Green Highway than before without such a lane. In addition, the past winter period is not particularly enough long to make us believe an additional traffic line increasing the rush-hour jams. Maybe, in the winter, it is so cold that many people go out by car rather than by other transportations. All of these may be the reasons for the increasing rush-hour jams, but not just the additional traffic line. Meanwhile, the demographics of population are important. It is possible there are more people in the zone of Green Highway than of Blue Highway. To build only one traffic lane can not deduce( reduce吧) the rush-hour jams in the region of Green Highway, but it may deduce the rush-hour jams in the region of Blue Highway.

Second, although many citizens of shady village are avid bicyclists, they may don't like riding to work. They like riding only as a sport exercises at their spare time. The above questionnaire (which) result(s) in the argument is not credible. They may survey a very small part of shady village citizens, and maybe only a few of people who took part in the questionnaire respond to it. In addition, even if 75 percent of respondents said they would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently, we should not believe they would go work by bikes instead of cars. Another reason is that they currently bicycle few hours, and therefore they would like bicycling more hours.

Overall, in order to solve the problem of traffic on Blue Highway, the governments of Shady Village and Bright City should evaluate all possible causes for the rush-hour jams, and survey the difference between the Blue Highway and the Green Highway, then to make a right decision according to the citizens' requirement.
找到的错误都还可以， 只是用词上应多加注意。
我才刚刚开始想写argument，一点不成熟的建议， 不知是否恰当。