【独立写作】~xiaoboss~作业帖

dream0611UID：3168697

0701

dream0611UID：3168697

11# Felislynx
算上给你的这个回复，终于够数了

水果的夏天UID：3022981

嘿，你的文章写的很好喔，学习了

FelislynxUID：3317754

例子语言都很好呢，折中式写法

songlu87UID：3226063

At present [b]Nowdays[/b], young people are undergoing profound and complex changes brought about by the development of modern society,  presenting with opportunities and new challenges on every aspect of our life. In most cases, those difficulties can be easily solved with the assistance of older people, however, in a certain circumstance, suggestions provided by peers seem to be more effective since they are equipped with passion and optimistic spirit. As far as I am concerned, it is important to take the specific situation into consideration before making a judgment.
After graduating from high school I have the option to directly enter the work force which were willing to offer 3000RMB per month to attract me as I exhibited a special talent on programming, it was really a fat salary at that time, while the average salary in the city was 2000RMB. The majority of my peers suggested me to treasure this opportunity, since it was obviously a decent job provided by a famous company which possesses the ideal workplace everyone was looking hoping for. It was an inspiring chance to realize my personal value, However, at last I decide to attend college to further my academic study, this decision was based on my father's suggestion who indicated that college provide a perfect environment to learn cooperation as well as develop independence, which are deemed as necessary qualities to be a successful person, after all, I could obtain a larger arena to display my ambitious ambition when I am graduated.
After a long day's work and study, I usually tend to adopt a life style full of comfortable. In this case, young people's advice often seems to be more attractive while older people are always alternating between watching TV and playing mahjong. Before mapping out a plan, young people will take full advantages of the Internet, with large quantities of information to think about, it will definitely enrich our choices. What's more, young people always take some elements like health, excitement and fashion into consideration while prepare preparing an entertainment activity, which rightly meet my special need. In addition, by taking advice like this, I have a chance to strengthen the relationship between of friends and colleagues as well as enlarge social contact with people have preference in common.

From what have been discussed above, we may safely to draw the conclusion that both older people's and peers' advices are valuable. What matter most is to take proper suggestion under a specific situation

songlu87UID：3226063

我也是作文新手，说的不对的地方还请楼主多多包涵
开头第一段suggestions provided by peers seem to be more effective since they are equipped with passion and optimistic spirit 似乎与下文举的例子关联性不是很大，我觉得把这句话改成since they are leading more healthful and fashionable life style with passion and optimistic spirit 是否可以更好的与下文对照？

班门弄斧，希望楼主多多包涵:loveliness:

dream0611UID：3168697

18# 水果的夏天 我的效率很慢 都是两三个小时才能写完

dream0611UID：3168697

21# songlu87 客气呀 谢谢你的指点

秋雨荆州UID：2903781

23# dream0611

秋雨荆州UID：2903781

补改的综合 23# dream0611

香草鱼UID：3125484

0531的独立和综合这里补上

速度提高后写成这样就差不多了

laotaitaiUID：3143871

进步很大啊
继续啊！

mikejason2005UID：3261124

改好了~

燕鱼小窝UID：3249611

已改，抛砖引玉，请参考

ohlyeonaUID：3234699

改好了～ 迟到了 抱歉～