john 的 作文本

johnmclainUID：2676153

It is important forother people to know about our strengths and accomplishments. Yet I can notagree with too much trial to make sure about this acknowledgement.

If someone wants to besuccessful, he would need the opportunity to prove his ability. When theleaders are making decisions, they would choose those they trust. A workermight be pretty good at a specific job and have the ability for a higherposition. How could he get promotion if the manager even can’t recognize himfrom a great number of stuff? A company might be producing high qualityproducts and tentative services. How could a buyer turn to the company if henever heard anything about it and have to choose from thousands of potentialproducers? A football player might be talented. How could the coach pick him upout of the pages of a name list? So we have little chance getting the job tomake a difference, unless we make our strengths heard.

However, the leadersare choosing us because we have the corresponding quality for the job. If ourabilities or qualities fails to satisfy the need, even if the decision-makersknows us, they would prefer a person who seems to meet the demand to a personthat definitely can not get the job done. Those who have little gifts yet stillmaking the most of themselves, suffer disgust from every co-workers as well asthe managers. So the more primary work for an ambitious person is to improvehimself instead of showing off all the time. Moreover, since first impressionis the most impressive one, it seems that we should have some favorable strengthbefore shows.

It should be concededthat some people did make a difference by working for themselves. However, mostof workers are making a living at a plant or company that is managed by otherpeople. On the other hand, without the trusts from his cooperation partners,those company owners would never be successful.

Iagree with the statement with reservations that improving ourselves should bethe fundamental work before trying to show off ourselves. And since thecomplexity of our society, an able man will be useful sooner or later.

nishuowosheiUID：2843451

9.9 号的作业，周末没上网，抱歉~改晚了

rysfUID：2514937

改的不好 见谅

johnmclainUID：2676153

9月9日作业it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life

The movie is a worthy art style not only because some movies could teach us something about real life, they could also serve as amusements.

Many movies are viewed as classical ones because they are thought provoking and reflect realities of the contempory people. Such as documentaries about important issues, Crashes, Sindeler’s list, the Simpsons and so on. They incite us to think about our real lifes. The Crash, for example, make us aware of cultural shocks. Then we may have a relatively comprehensive understanding about the relations between people from different nations, what others are thinking about cultural shocks, why we should respect each other, how this crashes happen. So movies like Crashes are highly remarked and some people might claim that movies that could not teach us something in life are not worthy of watching.

However, what such a claim has occluded might be the fact that movies could also serve to make funs. With increasing tension of modern society, people are inclined to find some space to release themselves. That is to say, many people are merely watching a film for fun. And movies that show much about real life cause boredom though they are intrinsic. Thus, movies of fictions and amusments have been more popular nowadays. It is a good way to set free oneself after a week of hard work watching a film that is full of excitements.

Classic thought provoking films are really precious artworks. But it dose not mean that movies that aimed at amusment are not worthy because they offer us a way to forget the troubles and tension for a while. Just like we need formal clothes for parties and ceremonies as well as ordinary clothes for everyday life.

primrose0519UID：2887617

我用word改的，如果需要，可以发给你 18# johnmclain

primrose0519UID：2887617

9月7日
1 a2 O! i' w. T, WDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.
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I partly agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine the future[url=] for their children[/url][S1] , with reservations [url=]that parents should interfere when necessary.[/url]" [S2] g/ s$ R7 k! R. R, c2 [

$ Y+ U3 r1 R* O& XThe ability to decide on one’s own is an indispensible ability for a modern person [url=]because[/url][S3] in a complex world full of crossings, one can’t always find a universally valid guidance and have to think for their own behalves. So the parents have the responsibility to cultivate the child’s ability to judge and make their own choices. The best way of giving such lessons is to offer adequate [url=]space[/url][S4] to think and decide. A research showed that when facing difficulties, children raised under careful attention are more likely to retreat and call for help before a trial than those who grow up with enough [url=]independent space[/url][S5] . The latter shows some commendable spirits such as self-confidence and toughness. 9 O5 n2 O) L! s3 A1 J
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However, an attempt to comprehend “leaving enough independent space” as leaving the child alone might be skin-deep. When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then. I [url=]am not meaning[/url][S6] that we should prevent our children from making any mistakes. What I meant was that we should stop our children with proper guidance, for example persuading them out of smoking or taking drugs. Moreover, a proper suggestions helps bring a family together. When the child’s best friend is moving away, the kid would feel sad for a time. That might be all right for parents to comfort the kid and share their own similar experiences, telling them they still could be best friends through mailing and both of them would run into new friends. In this way, without any interference, parents are helping a child out of depression and at the same time build up a positive way of living.
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3 j  x9 p- f8 W1 OFrom what has been stated above, I think the best way to raise a child might be keeping a proper distance, instead of extreme ways of too attentive or leaving children alone.结尾最好用上题目中的关键词显得更加的扣题。
文章总体来说还是很连贯的，词句的变化也很到位，但是注意一下某个词或某个关键短语不能老是重复的使用，一些句子“When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then.”读起来不够简练；句式也不要重复，因为这里不是排比表达法，后一句可以这样写“as they become adolescents, they still make mistakes every…due to….”
逻辑方面，仅扣文题是很好的，举例可以再详细一些就更好了。
总之，很不错，加油加油！！




[S1]这个删掉,和前面累赘



[S2]这个从句是修饰哪部分的呢,修饰reservations不太对



[S3]Because是连词,应该接从句,这里用for好些



[S4]换成opportunities是否更好呢



[S5]我总觉得space这个词不是很合适，这里可以用independence直接代替



[S6]这个一般不用进行时，说成do not mean 就行了



18# johnmclain

johnmclainUID：2676153

9月7日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

I partly agree with the statement that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine the future for their children, with reservations that parents should interfere when necessary.

The ability to decide on one’s own is an indispensible ability for a modern person because in a complex world full of crossings, one can’t always find a universally valid guidance and have to think for their own behalves. So the parents have the responsibility to cultivate the child’s ability to judge and make their own choices. The best way of giving such lessons is to offer adequate space to think and decide. A research showed that when facing difficulties children raised under careful attention are more likely to retreat and call for help before a trial than those who grow up with enough independent space. The latter shows some commendable spirits such as self-confidence and toughness.

However, an attempt to comprehend “leaving enough independent space” as leaving the child alone might be skin-deep. When children are very young, they have little experience to make decisions on their own. When they are in their teens, due to the disability of controlling impulses and a lack of moral concerns, they make mistakes every now and then. I am not meaning that we should prevent our children from making any mistakes. What I meant was that we should stop our children with proper guidance, for example persuading them out of smoking or taking drugs. Moreover, a proper suggestions help bring a family together. When the child’s best friend is moving away, the kid would feel sad for a time. That might be all right for parents to comfort the kid and share their own similar experiences, telling them they still could be best friends through mailing and both of them would run into new friends. In this way, without any interference, parents are helping a child out of depression and at the same time build up a positive way of living.

From what has been stated above, I think the best way to raise a child might be keeping a proper distance, instead of extreme ways of too attentive or leaving children alone.

johnmclainUID：2676153

14# superchaos 我文章的第二段是个关键段落。。。。

johnmclainUID：2676153

14# superchaos 我的逻辑结构是这样的

首先，孩子们的课已经很多了。

第二，题目说还要加课。这就减少了他们的课余时间。

第三、我觉得课余时间很重要。

第四、所以不同意题目的说法。

frlenderUID：2629962

楼主下回word吧，感觉更好些

superchaosUID：2863434

Aug 31  W, f: h7 X, A) v" L/ z
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.  7 F/ O7 v4 l. v( u; C# D) ?

In my opinion, younger children should be given enough spare time. It might be officious (感觉不太合适这词儿..)to require them to learn art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

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From my experience of life, younger children are forced to learn by their parents. They have to take personal or vacation classes, which left little time for them to do what they want. An addition of lessons on art and music would further press their “own time”. Spare time is important for a younger child at an age of five to ten. They may spend time on playing games, chatting with friends and focus on the subjects that really interest/attract them.

As have been proved by scientific research, playing games could help develop a child’s muscle and nervous system. The former determines the healthy condition of a child and the later would affect intellectual ability. And children with less sports or games would have average inferior performances in both health and intellectual quality.(跑题了.........你讲这个干嘛?别告诉我是讲除了art & music 课程之外的activity的好处..没这么论述的...)

t$ \6 J
(上下文链接不顺畅……)Nowadays, people need a fine ability of exchanging ideas to become more cooperative. (该句可以考虑从状语前置..fine用的也不好..)Not only are those who have little friends and who communicate with others improperly not welcomed, but also they may even face with psychology problems. Many criminals break laws because they thought they should revenge the society because they are isolated. For instance, the criminal who killed seven children in Fujian, China could not help himself out from loneness and attributed his failure to his neighbors.(你想讲什么...??)

Moreover, it is precious to find something that really interests oneself. As a famous saying goes, interest is the best teacher. A good interest could fulfill a person’s inner life. (A good interest could help people fulfill their inner life) Einstein played the violin for inspiration when he was tired. My favorite is football. It teaches much and has accompanied me through the days of happy as well as sorrow.

From what has been argued above, spare time is necessary if we consider the lives of the young child instead of merely scores from school. So I think adding more lessons by force might not be a wise idea.

楼主...你这文章跑题很严重啊,你的观点是什么??就说课余时间很重要??跟题目要求的完全没关系啊..当然你可以说学这些课程不能保障学生们的课余时间...但是绝不是你这么阐述的..希望以后能注意一下扣题！句式方面也希望能加强！~加油！！

johnmclainUID：2676153

Aug 31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.  

In my opinion, younger children should be given enough spare time. It might be officious to require them to learn art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

From my experience of life, younger children are forced to learn by their parents. They have to take personal or vacation classes, which left little time for them to do what they want. An addition of lessons on art and music would further press their “own time”. Spare time is important for a younger child at an age of five to ten. They may spend time on playing games, chatting with friends and focus on the subjects that really interest them.

As have been proved by scientific research, playing games could help develop a child’s muscle and nervous system. The former determines the healthy condition of a child and the later would affect intellectual ability. And children with less sports or games would have average inferior performances in both health and intellectual quality.

Nowadays, people need a fine ability of exchanging ideas to become more cooperative. Not only are those who have little friends and who communicate with others improperly not welcomed, but also they may even face with psychology problems. Many criminals break laws because they thought they should revenge the society because they are isolated. For instance, the criminal who killed seven children in Fujian, China could not help himself out from loneness and attributed his failure to his neighbors.

Moreover, it is precious to find something that really interests oneself. As a famous saying goes, interest is the best teacher. A good interest could fulfill a person’s inner life. Einstein played the violin for inspiration when he was tired. My favorite is football. It teaches much and has accompanied me through the days of happy as well as sorrow.

From what has been argued above, spare time is necessary if we consider the lives of the young child instead of merely scores from school. So I think adding more lessons by force might not be a wise idea.

johnmclainUID：2676153

11# 雲靉玥 Thank U very much !

雲靉玥UID：2888572

话说改完了~



本人水平有限，挑不出什么错…感觉写的很好，有些东西都是我没想到的呢，拓宽了一下思路！


但感觉段与段之间的衔接几乎没有，有点让人摸不着头绪，大概就是这样了恩！加油咯~




2010-08-28


Life is not merely about working, it also contains other aspects. I agree with the statement that a job with more vacation but a low salary is better.

While working is important, because all of our food and facilities come from work, yet it does not mean that we should always be engaged in routine jobs. There are so many interesting and meaningful things other than work. For example, tourism, exploration to the mountains, caves, diving,(建议删掉，不然读不懂）and helping those who need care.



Tourism could broad our horizons. Through touring(加个逗号或者挪到句子末尾) we know what kind of life others are living and what other parts of the world look like. With a fine understanding of other places and people, tourism could help build a comprehensive understanding and mitigate narrow horizons. After months of work with anxiety, a tour to another beautiful and quiet place could also ease tension. Thereby help mold a salubrious life style.

At first sight, explorations might be formidable to some people. In daily lives, however,（个人比较喜欢这么写） everybody is running into a variety of explorations. When a child is learning to ride a bike, a high school student is learning to drive a car, an adult is contacting with a potential customer, they are exploring new field of lives. Other trials such as riding a bike to a remote city might be more exciting ones. Though peaceful livings are sweet, a life needs some piquancy if it were to be tastier. By leading us into the unknown lands overcoming all kind of difficulties, explorations make us bolder, more confident as well as stronger.（这段完全没有提到工作和假期，算不算有点跑题？）


Other kinds of extra time could be spending on help those who need our assistance. For instance, single old people who often feel lonely（举的是需要帮助的人的例子）. They want to talk to their children who might be in another country. By talking with the old people or taking care of them for a few hours, the young could be more experienced from the talks and the old feel warmer with other people’s care.

From what has been argued above, we need more free time to make lives more colorful and meaningful. Thereby I’d(不可以缩写) prefer a job with less pay but enough vacations.

johnmclainUID：2676153

8月28日作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

Life is not merely about working, it also contains other aspects. I agree with the statement that a job with more vacation but a low salary is better.

While working is important, because all of our food and facilities come from work, yet it does not mean that we should always be engaged in routine jobs. There are so many interesting and meaningful things other than work. For example, tourism, exploration to the mountains, caves, diving, and helping those who need care.

Tourism could broad our horizons. Through touring we know what kind of life others are living and what other parts of the world look like. With a fine understanding of other places and people, tourism could help build a comprehensive understanding and mitigate narrow horizons. After months of work with anxiety, a tour to another beautiful and quiet place could also ease tension. Thereby help mold a salubrious life style.

At first sight, explorations might be formidable to some people. However, in daily lives everybody is running into a variety of explorations. When a child is learning to ride a bike, a high school student is learning to drive a car, an adult is contacting with a potential customer, they are exploring new field of lives. Other trials such as riding a bike to a remote city might be more exciting ones. Though peaceful livings are sweet, a life needs some piquancy if it were to be tastier. By leading us into the unknown lands overcoming all kind of difficulties, explorations make us bolder, more confident as well as stronger.

Other kinds of extra time could be spending on help those who need our assistance. For instance, single old people often feel lonely. They want to talk to their children who might be in another country. By talking with the old people or taking care of them for a few hours, the young could be more experienced from the talks and the old feel warmer with other people’s care.

From what has been argued above, we need more free time to make lives more colorful and meaningful. Thereby I’d prefer a job with less pay but enough vacations.