issue67 大家尽管批判，不怕

ilikeappleUID：135385

花了将近一小时，结果还觉得没什么说服力，晕菜了
大家有没有什么好的建议呢？

67"Colleges should require students to engage in public-service activities in order to assure that each student receives a balanced, well-rounded education."

College students, as the backbone of the future society, should be well rounded, obtaining a balance between the acquirement of knowledge and the cultivation of other virtues. Thus, colleges and universities should encourage their students to engage in public-service activities, which is proved to be helpful to well balanced development of the students.

The present education system, including that of the higher education, has been blamed for its failure to educate students with strong public responsibility; while taking part in the public-service activities for the college students will help, in some sense, to solve the problem. Just in these recent decades, many colleges have placed their emphasis on the career-oriented education. That is, students are taught to be knowledgeable to survive in a society full of rigid competition; while the previously valued virtue cultivation have given way to the more practical education and students, although probably not be on purpose, are left with the impression that they have to lead a decent life by all means, even at the cost of others' interests, which is responsible for decay of sense of social obligation. Fortunately, little by little, a growing number of colleges have realized the problem and managed to create much more opportunities for their students to participate in the public-service activities, such as working on weekends in the nursing houses. By doing this, students become aware of their responsibility as members of the society, therefore adjust themselves to be more morally acceptable and work in the future with the public interests in mind all the time. Then, a healthy society, in return, will be guaranteed.

Taking part in the public -service activities for the college students can not only help the them to build their social awareness, but also benefit them to equip themselves with some abilities essential to succeed in the future. In schools, students are mainly taught to study hard, having less opportunities to communicate with the society, thus lacking the ability to deal with some social problems, for instance, the ability to effectively communicate with different individuals with complex personalities. That's why colleges and universities are always called as "Ivory Tower", a place isolated from the outside world. However, students are capable of compensating this shortcoming by taking part in public-service activities, which can work as the window to the outside for the colleges. During the course of taking these activities, students have a lot of access to meet with all kinds of people and then learn how to get on with them, which in the end will always contribute to their future success.

Nonetheless, taking part in public-service activities is not indispensable for the students to be well rounded. In fact, many college graduates nowadays have not got any opportunity to participate such activities while at school, but they still manage to be successful, winning respect from their peers by their excellent performance both in their work and social life. Although engaging in the public-service activities can benefit many students to be well balanced, whether or not an individual can really be rounded depends mainly on personalities, rather than merely taking some activities. Therefore, colleges should not rely too much on these activities or require all of their students to take them regardless of their own will.

In sum, it is desirable and effective for the colleges to encourage their students to take part in public-service activities in that they help the students, while intellectually knowledgeable, to be socially responsible in the future as well and to be better prepared for their future social life. Meanwhile, such activities should not be compulsory since different individuals may be well rounded by different ways, or even after graduation.

gteryyUID：114434

College students, as the backbone of the future society, should be well rounded, obtaining a balance between the acquirement of knowledge and the cultivation of other virtues. Thus, colleges and universities should encourage their students to engage in public-service activities, which is proved to be helpful to well balanced development of the students.
开头不错，简洁明了。

The present education system, including that of the higher education, has been blamed for its failure to educate students with strong public（social好象好点） responsibility; while taking part in the public-service activities for the college students will help, in some sense, to solve the problem.（我感觉这句话中的while前后半句调换一下会比较好。） Just in these recent（recent可以不要） decades, many colleges have placed their emphasis on the career-oriented education. That is, students are taught to be knowledgeable to survive in a society full of rigid competition; while the previously valued virtue cultivation have given way to the more practical education and students, although probably not be（ing） on purpose, are left with the impression that they have to lead a decent life by all means, even at the cost of others' interests, which is responsible for （the）decay of sense of social obligation. Fortunately, little by little, a growing number of colleges have realized the problem and managed to create much more opportunities for their students to participate in the public-service activities, such as working on weekends in the nursing houses. By doing this, students become aware of their responsibility as members of the society, therefore adjust themselves to be more morally acceptable and work in the future with the public interests in mind all the time. Then, a healthy society, in return, will be guaranteed.
这段通过对现实的分析、对比论证，主题清晰，不错。

Taking part in the public -service activities for the college students can not only help the them to build their social awareness, but also benefit them to equip themselves with some abilities essential to succeed in the future. In schools, students are mainly（感觉maily放在taught后面比较好） taught to study hard, having less opportunities to communicate with the society, thus lacking the ability to deal with some social problems, for instance, the ability to effectively communicate with different individuals with complex personalities. That's why colleges and universities are always called as "Ivory Tower", a place isolated from the outside world. However, students are capable of compensating this shortcoming by taking part in public-service activities, which can work as the window to the outside for the colleges. During the course of taking these activities, students have a lot of access to meet with all kinds of people and then learn how to get on with them, which in the end will always contribute to their future success.
说了另一个好处，可以为将来进入社会生活锻炼必要的能力。举了与人交流的例子来说明。

Nonetheless, taking part in public-service activities is not indispensable for the students to be well rounded. In fact, many college graduates nowadays have not got any opportunity to participate such activities while at school, but they still manage to be successful, winning respect from their peers by their excellent performance both in their work and social life.（这样说可以理解，但若能举个名人例子说明就更好了） Although engaging in the public-service activities can benefit many students to be well balanced, whether or not an individual can really be rounded depends mainly on personalities, rather than merely taking some activities. Therefore, colleges should not rely too much on these activities or require all of their students to take them regardless of their own will.
这段让步。
In sum, it is desirable and effective for the colleges to encourage their students to take part in public-service activities in that they help the students, while intellectually knowledgeable, to be socially responsible in the future as well and to be better prepared for their future social life. Meanwhile, such activities should not be compulsory since different individuals may be well rounded by different ways, or even after graduation.
总结的也不错。

我个人认为这篇文章写得很不错了。无论从用词造句结构上说都很流畅，且论述合情合理。这样练下去，作文一定能有高分。
有空也帮别的同学看看吧，你的水平真的不错了。
你不怕批判，可我找不出毛病了呀，呵呵。

happyman2000UID：136936

这篇文章真的写得很不错，你能在1个小时内写出这种水平的issue，真是佩服！我现在刚开始，没有3，4个钟头根本写不完。以后还请多多指教！

ilikeappleUID：135385

谢谢辣，忽然有信心了很多。一起努力 ：）