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neochenyaoUID：2944251

···········竟然不能删除原帖..................

abigail123UID：2713337

There is never an excuse for rudeness, while some people may defend themselves from being accused, (这里是不是少了一个连词，怎么两个句子逗号连一起了）I do agree with the author‘s argument, and being rude turn out to be only bad influence and cause people to be depressed.  
Imagine that when you feel bad and turn out to be and quarrel against another people, did you feel any better when you finished the fight?  Being rude to another people not only hurt the person you who you care, it （it指代什么？）also hurt your shelf.  You may argue that they have treat you badly or even didn’t do understand you, even more, they don’t care about your feeling, but would you ever thought of the feeling of the others when they are rudely treat by your attitude? it is stupid to be rude to another person in any condition, it is a lose-lose situation, and in most cases you will feel guilty and regret at last.
（必须要说你的标点有问题哦~好多句子连一块了）
In addition, being rude（可以换一个说法） to the others only shows that you are losing control of yourself, and it wouldn’t solve any problem at all, on the contrary, It may cause things to be more complicate.  One of my friend compliant that he got a ticket from the police officer, because he is so hurry drive to the working place, and an officer pull him over because of his headlights is not turn on, instead of asking the officer what the problem is, he is trying to argue with the police man, and it turn out to be a ticket. （哥哥您给个句号成不）Our rudeness always cause us in trouble, which we could be avoid simply before making rushed decision.
Moreover, rudeness is always accused by our social moral, and with the highly development on the society nowadays, we draw our attentions on the personality development as well as the economic development, so it is important for us to learn respect the others, not only rudeness to others is an behavior of ignorant and is abundant by most of well educated people in our society, （好句子）but also a indecent behavior is rarely appeared in today’s community, I think we all share the common sense with each other, that is to respect the others.
In sum, rudeness is never be a good habit, and we should always try our best to avoid it, no matter what lead to it, it is a bad behavior should never be adopted.

neochenyaoUID：2944251

2# abigail123 谢谢指正！:handshake继续加油

yuanruicongUID：2912839

改好啦~

xiaomeidingUID：3087416

Y10月5日 20100925NA Do you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past  Well,(delete well. I think we only use well in spoken english) in my opinion I suggest(you can either use in my opinion or I suggest, but you cannot use both, it is repetition) that people tend to be more dependent on their parents than in the past. There are some reasons for their changes than in the past, As I will lists below to discuss, these reasons include their living space, emotional connection, and economic situation.
First of all, people tend to be spend more time living with their parents than (they did)in the past, because of growing number of population increased the hardship of the children to get their own spaces. The rocket lunch price of houses already pushed young people to face the challenges in life (.)in some developing country(countries), take my country for example, the real estate expanded as more than 6 times in 2011 than in 2000, with (the high housing prices/the high housing costs)high price for house purchasing, more young man(men) tend to live with their parents today in order to reduce the (housing expenses ) cost. Therefore, I think we don’t have many options to be independent (delete--from our parents,) and living with them seems like a wise choice.

Second, with the highly competitive development of (the )society, young people became (are becoming/ become)much more isolate with their friends and the classmates, they spend more time to share with their parents instead of enjoy(enjoying) their free time with their friends, and the convenience of communication technology (insert such as facebook, google talk, etc,) help us to hook up with our friends from (long distances)distances away.( delete, facebook, google talk, etc,)(A survey on website shows ) an on web survey point out that we tend to use computer instead of face to face communicate. This make (makes)us more tend to connected with our parents instead. My friends told me he always felt(feels) isolate with his friends and he spend more time with his parents to compensate (his sense of emptiness )( delete the lost of his emotional feeling.)

Moreover, during the globe economic crisis today, young people are facing a serious (job hunting situations)(delete  situations of finding a job), this means they need more support from their parents before find a job and completely economical independent (economically independent), they are still economic connected with their parents. I do suggest young people to be more independents(independent) and solve their problems on their own, however, if we take a look at the reality today, I doubt anyone could stand out and face the problems alone (in such hard time. Delete a)in such a hard time.In this case, I think it is natural that young people is more dependent on their parents to fight against the hardship of economic crisis.I took near 3 month to find my first job in my career, and thanks to my father and mother, I will never get this far without their support.

Generally speaking, (in conclusion)I think young people is more dependent on their parents today than (they did) in the past, and family is became a huge support of our lives.


如果有改的不恰当的地方告诉我哦。加油！
谢

deanna.zhangUID：3181158

谢谢帮我改的作文，很受启发。这是帮你改的，不知道改的好不好。
Although families play an important role and support(in supporting ) people to overcome their hardship in most cases today, I don’t agree with the argument that the help from government will (+be ) replaced by the help from families, because families’ support cannot be simply equal with (to )the responsibility, the function, and the role model effect of the government.
To begin with, helping people to solve their problems represent the responsibility of government, the help from families may be self incentive and disordered, however, a(help为不可数名词，感觉不用加a) help from government shows the responsibility of the government and is always well organized.  For example, because of the connection in blood lineage(换到后面感觉更通顺), the help from families sometimes can only cover a few groups of people because of the connection in blood lineage, and they appear to be small units, on the other hand, a government lunched plan may cover a huge group of people, not only in numbers, but also support people in special class in the(感觉应该去掉the) society, and this far surpass(es) the support from family.
In addition, the support from government also shows the primary function of political（politics）, and it balances the power of society as well as the wealth. For instance, in a(n) economic crisis, a heavy tax to (on)the wealth(y) class and a(去掉a,allowance是不可数的吧) allowance towards the poor will undoubtedly help to create a more fair social atmosphere, or take another example, the charity fund which raising(raise) money for the homeless, help them to have a clean space to stay, and these are the key functions which can’t be replaced by the support from families.4 }+ p6 a8 n8 l- K6 |  z
Moreover, supports from government always help to set up a role model, a support of families may help people to solve their problems, but a support from government  helps to support people from (去掉from 会好些)mentally, it give hopes to the people who live in the community（感觉换成hardship会好些）, for example, families may（+only） help to support a man, and save him from financial crisis, but the job create（creating） plan of government is the only support(+which) gives them  hope of finding a job.4 b8 z3 K# I! j5 Y+ P: x
In sum, many people may solve their problems with the help from their families, but the help from government is always a necessary part of support that can never be ignored.

abigail123UID：2713337

Although families play an important role and support people to overcome their hardship in most cases today, I don’t agree with the argument that the help from government will replaced by the help from families, because families’ support cannot be simply equal with the responsibility, the function, and the role model effect of the government.
（你这个句子写得太飘亮了。。。多好的偷了。。。嘻嘻）



To begin with, helping people to solve their problems represent（s） the responsibility of government, the help from families may be self incentive and disordered, however,（however后面不能直接句子吧，用whereas） a help from government shows the responsibility of the government and is always well organized.  For example, because of the connection in blood lineage, the help from families sometimes can only cover a few groups of people, and they appear to be small units, on the other hand,（句号哥哥） a government lunched plan may cover a huge group of people, not only in numbers, but also support (not only but also后面接的东西要完全平行哥哥）people in special class in the society, and this far surpass the support from family.


In addition, the support from government also shows the primary function of political, and it balances the power of society as well as the wealth. For instance, in a economic crisis, a heavy tax to the wealth class and a allowance towards the poor will undoubtedly help to create a more fair social atmosphere, （句号啊）or take another example, the charity fund which raising money for the homeless, help them to have a clean space to stay, and these are the key functions which can’t be replaced by the support from families.


Moreover, supports from government always help to set up a role model, a support of families may help people to solve their problems, but a support from government  helps to support people from mentally, （句号啊）it give hopes to the people who live in the community, for example, families may help to support a man, and save him from financial crisis, but the job create plan of government is the only support gives them  hope of finding a job.



In sum, many people may solve their problems with the help from their families, but the help from government is always a necessary part of support that can never be ignored.


功底相当不错哦。。。句子写得很好，换词换说法非常值得学习，可是。。。。

哥哥，句号啊。。。。。。还有一些小的语法错误。。。。。

学习之。。。加油