【寄托No.1】杀G小组 第6次作业 一起读OG~I

良药重口UID：3214270

Issue 在我看来，就是让你把逻辑用地道的英语表述出来的过程，其形式可以是举例子，也可以是摆道理，总之，逻辑和语言的流利性达到了就没太大问题
我曾经不记得在那篇文章上看到了这样一句话，感觉很有道理，给大家分享一下：
对于一篇题目，为了展现自己语言的逻辑性，通常可以从以下四个方面来看--1.原因和结果
                                                                                               2.方面与程度
                                                                                               3.定性与定量
                                                                                               4.优势与劣势
有了这四点，不信你的语言会不充实呵呵，一下就利用这篇范文来具体说明一下（时间不太多，就只看了看6分的了，原谅我把）



As peope rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate..p133
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.




Essay Response — Score 62 l: e5 [& W. n  z2 @& L# H. [
The statement linking technology negatively with free thinking plays on recent human experience over the past century. Surely there has been no time in history where the lived lives of people have changed more dramatically. A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world. Most people commute to work in an automobile that runs on an internal combustion engine. During the workday, chances are high that the employee will interact with a computer that processes information on silicon bridges that are .09 microns wide. Upon leaving home, family members will be reached through wireless networks that utilize satellites orbiting the earth. Each of these common occurrences could have been inconceivable at the turn of the 19th century.（第一句定性表明statement的观点，其后几句就是从生活方面具体引出作者论断）



The statement attempts to bridge these dramatic changes to reduction in the ability for humans to think for themselves.The assumption is that an increased reliance on technology negates the need for people to think creatively to solve previous quandaries. Looking back at the introduction, one could argue that without a car, computer, or mobile phone, the hypothetical worker would need to find alternate methods of transport, information processing and communication. Technology short circuits this thinking by making the problems obsolete.（从科技发展的劣势方面来讲，原因是科技的便利确实使人们不太需要去思考（make the problems obsolete)）。



However, this reliance on technology does not necessarily preclude the creativity that marks the human species. The prior examples reveal that technology allows for convenience. The car, computer and phone all release additional time for people to live more efficiently.This efficiency does not preclude the need for humans to think for themselves. In fact, technology frees humanity to not only tackle new problems, but may itself create new issues that did not exist without technology. For example, the proliferation of automobiles has introduced a need for fuel conservation on a global scale. With increasing energy demands from emerging markets, global warming becomes a concern inconceivable to the horse-and-buggy generation. Likewise dependence on oil has created nation-states that are not dependent on taxation, allowing ruling parties to oppress minority groups such as women. Solutions to these complex problems require the unfettered imaginations of maverick scientists and politicians.（作者从科技给人们带来便利这个方面重新审视了statement的观点，从某种程度上来说，正是这种便利，使得人们有更多的时间去思考问题，从而反驳了statement里科技使人不思考的观点，而且，作者语言表述的流利性和选词用的都相当到位，比如“proliferation”，“maverick”，以及长短句的变化，作者formidable的语言功底可见一斑啊）



In contrast to the statement, we can even see how technology frees the human imagination.
Consider how the digital revolution and the advent of the internet has allowed for an unprecedented exchange of ideas. WebMD, a popular internet portal for medical information, permits patients to self research symptoms for a more informed doctor visit. This exercise opens pathways of thinking that were previously closed off to the medical layman. With increased interdisciplinary interactions, inspiration can arrive from the most surprising corners. Jeffrey Sachs, one of the architects of the UN Millenium Development Goals, based his ideas on emergency care triage techniques. The unlikely marriage of economics and medicine has healed tense, hyperinflation environments from South America to Eastern Europe.（举了几个例子，即科技发展带来的结果。看得出来，WebMD和interdisciplinary interaction这两个素材都是作者上考场之前精心准备的，乍看一眼，交叉学科和科技使人变笨没太多的交集啊，但是作者将其完美的结合于科技发展的优势上了，因此素材我们还是应该得准备一下，总会用上的）

This last example provides the most hope in how technology actually provides hope to the future of humanity. By increasing our reliance on technology, impossible goals can now be achieved.
Consider how the late 20th century witnessed the complete elimination of smallpox. This disease had ravaged the human race since prehistorical days, and yet with the technology of vaccines, free thinking humans dared to imagine a world free of smallpox.
Using technology, battle plans were drawn out, and smallpox was systematically targeted and eradicated.（从具体的方面，从天花的消灭引申到科技给人类思想上的解放，语言的逻辑性，思想的复杂性，有木有啊有木有！！）

Technology will always mark the human experience, from the discovery of fire to the implementation of nanotechnology. Given the history of the human race, there will be no limit to the number of problems, both new and old, for us to tackle. There is no need to retreat to a Luddite attitude to new things, but rather embrace a hopeful posture to the possibilities that technology provides for new avenues of human imagination.（重述观点+引申）



开头和结尾大家练一练其实都可以和该大牛差不多，关键还是正文部分这个大牛的亮点太多了：比如第三段作者从科技带来的结果的两方面（问题和便利）都加以阐述。特别是问题方面：科技发展（the proliferation of automobiles)到产生的问题（a need for fuel conservation in global scale)，又从能源问题揭示了更深的问题（石油国家的政治问题），一环扣一环，逻辑性相当紧密。
嗯，就先扯这么多吧（时间不太多，就只看了看6分的了，原谅我把），一家之言，期待更多大牛解释~大家加油！