欢迎还有4周以上时间同学加入

tesolchinaUID??2191404

本帖是寄托会员创建小组时自动生成的。小组"14年秋季GRE提纲+全文互改小组"期待你的加入！你还可以查看更多小组、创建小组。

具体参加办法见这个帖子 https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1777232&fromuid=2191404

liliudodoUID??3261082

楼主的指点一针见血，洞若观火，高屋建瓴，应该也是立竿见影的。

andaluciaUID??3556932

看完王老师的帖子感觉好像找到了救星！

tesolchinaUID??2191404

andalucia 发表于 2014-10-14 19:59
看完王老师的帖子感觉好像找到了救星！

你觉得评估自己习作的可操作性如何？欢迎尝试并反馈！

andaluciaUID??3556932

tesolchina 发表于 2014-10-15 00:06
你觉得评估自己习作的可操作性如何？欢迎尝试并反馈！

我觉得操作性是有的，但是我感觉好像不是每一篇issue都能用1+3这个模式来写呢。首先自己评估我觉得效果应该是很好的，但是一些逻辑上的东西自己肯定是觉得没问题的，这个恰恰大家最容易出问题的地方。

tesolchinaUID??2191404

andalucia 发表于 2014-10-15 09:31
我觉得操作性是有的，但是我感觉好像不是每一篇issue都能用1+3这个模式来写呢。首先自己评估我觉得效果应 ...

由于目前人数不多，组员自评之后，我会亲自点评。等更多人参加时，前期参加的组员应该有能力点评。这个项目希望能探索出一个可持续性的模式。目前自评还没有人尝试，或者你可以试一下第一只螃蟹;P

dramaticllyUID??3211826

我也来报个名吧
10.31 首次G
加拿大本科
托福作文正好22

singincloudUID??3361137

发给老师批改。原来老师以前是华科的？华科都是学霸，学霸们作文大多数是3-3.5分？那我该怎么办？好恐怖·····
1. 复制完整的题目包括issue statement 和 写作指引
ISSUE 70
Claim: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's major field of study.
Reason: Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.



  2. 列出自己的观点句

  I partly agree with the claim that  universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study and I totally agree with the reason.
  3. 讨论自己的观点句包括哪几个分论点以及如何回应题目的要求

1.同意reason 的观点 2 部分同意 claim 中的观点，正面阐述   3 指出claim观点中的不足。

4. 列出自己的三个主题句（中间段）
1.Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.
2.Obviously, Taking courses outside the student's field of study have many advangtes for student’s academic study 。
3。However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate.
  5. 讨论自己每个段落如何展开支持主题句
第一段 介绍 介绍true education 的范围和对学生的帮助
第二段 两个分论点1.Broad knowledge helps people thinking and solving problems from multi-side and multi-angle 举例阐述优势  2.Taking courses outside the student's field of study is also good for students’personal life举例
第三段 1.Such a request  infringed  the rights of students choose the ir education.2. Student electiing courses outside professional field need to pay more tuition fees,
  6. 检查自己段落内句子之间的连贯（这个比较复杂，晚些时候再补充讨论）
每个段落字数都很平均，感觉阐述的不够深入，还算比较连贯
  7. 列出自己觉得表达有问题的句子，解释你想表达的意思
However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate。
  8. 提出自己在内容、思路和表达上的具体问题  
思路是中规中矩的，高端句子结构和高端词汇不会运用，思路和文采都没有，这样分数不会太高。怎么办？？？
  9. 附上自己的issue全文

    I partly agree with the claim that  universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study and I totally agree with the reason. However,I would cuation that extending the claim  too far might risk undermining  real objectives of ture education.
    Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly e ducated. True education includes not only gaining the knowledge and ablity to excel in one’s major course of study and in one’s professional career but also providing insight and perspective regarding one’s place in society and in the physical an metaphysical worlds.Course in political sicence ,philosophy,theology ,literature,and even science such as astronomy and physics can help a student gain this insight and perspective .
    Obviously, Taking courses outside the student's field of study have many advangtes for student’s academic study .Broad knowledge helps people thinking and solving problems from multi-side and multi-angle.For example, Tombs excavation need  iarcheology, sociology, biology, chemistry professionals to participate         in. Besides, Science education helps to improve students' ability of mathematical logic and arts education can help cultivate students' humanities quality and emotional intelligence . Various problems in the world is increasingly complex,and many of them need to be solved by using a multidisciplinary comprehensive knowledge and interdisciplinary approach .In addition, Interdisciplinary is a hot topic in modern times, various disciplines can learn from each other.For example, Johh von Neumann with math background made important contribution to computer science, economy,  quantum mechanics  and almost all the field of mathematics.Taking courses outside the student's field of study is also good for students’personal life. Now some people pointed out that college students' academic pressure is more and more heavy, taking course outside will increase their study pressure. Nevertheless, most students will find more interest outside their field of study. It’s a kind of relaxation for students to choose  other courses  according to their own interests and hobbies . For example, physics students can choose to listen to music appreciation course. Besides, To participate in these disciplines outside the course allows students to make more friends and participate in a rich variety of activitives, making their life more colorful .
    However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate.First of all, Such a request  infringed  the rights of students choose their education.Secondly , Student electiing courses outside professional field need to pay more tuition fees, which will no doubt increase the economic burden of students.Besides,there are  various ways to obtain the other discipline knowledge. Moreover,Classroom teaching has its own defects, for instance , the teaching time and place is too fixed,.Students can now study the network courses freely available, such as  Yale open courses ,borrow books from the library,  or  download papers from the network .
    In the final analysis, universities can encourage student to take courses that they are interested in outside the student's field of study according to their economic conditions .And these course will play a important role in expand their horizons and shape their future life.

tesolchinaUID??2191404

singincloud 发表于 2014-10-18 18:07
发给老师批改。原来老师以前是华科的？华科都是学霸，学霸们作文大多数是3-3.5分？那我该怎么办？好 ...

ISSUE 70
Claim: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's major field of study.
Reason: Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.



  2. 列出自己的观点句

  I partly agree with the claim that  universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study and I totally agree with the reason.

如何理解partly agree  你没有具体说明 读者很难理解

  3. 讨论自己的观点句包括哪几个分论点以及如何回应题目的要求

1.同意reason 的观点 2 部分同意 claim 中的观点，正面阐述   3 指出claim观点中的不足。

虽然claim和reason是分开陈述，但是我们最好还是把它们当做一个整体  如果你不同意claim 仅仅同意观点，整体的观点就很难理解。但也不是没有可能，比如你可以说获取各科知识是得到好的教育的最好方法，但是由大学要求学生这么做未必合适等等。
但是你的主旨句明显没有明确地说明你的思路。  


4. 列出自己的三个主题句（中间段）
1.Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.
2.Obviously, Taking courses outside the student's field of study have many advangtes for student’s academic study 。
3。However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate.
  5. 讨论自己每个段落如何展开支持主题句
第一段 介绍 介绍true education 的范围和对学生的帮助
第二段 两个分论点1.Broad knowledge helps people thinking and solving problems from multi-side and multi-angle 举例阐述优势  2.Taking courses outside the student's field of study is also good for students’personal life举例
第三段 1.Such a request  infringed  the rights of students choose the ir education.2. Student electiing courses outside professional field need to pay more tuition fees,
  6. 检查自己段落内句子之间的连贯（这个比较复杂，晚些时候再补充讨论）
每个段落字数都很平均，感觉阐述的不够深入，还算比较连贯
  7. 列出自己觉得表达有问题的句子，解释你想表达的意思
However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate。
  8. 提出自己在内容、思路和表达上的具体问题  
思路是中规中矩的，高端句子结构和高端词汇不会运用，思路和文采都没有，这样分数不会太高。怎么办？？？
  9. 附上自己的issue全文

    I partly agree with the claim that  universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study and I totally agree with the reason. However,I would cuation that extending the claim  too far might risk undermining  real objectives of ture education.   最后一句是模板么 不太明白extending the claim too far 到底是什么意思
你说的real objectives又是什么？



    Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly e ducated. 不要抄题目的原句 True education includes not only gaining the knowledge and ablity to excel in one’s major course of study and in one’s professional career but also providing insight and perspective regarding one’s place in society and in the physical an metaphysical worlds.Course in political sicence ,philosophy,theology ,literature,and even science such as astronomy and physics can help a student gain this insight and perspective .

这几句写得不错 尤其是 第三句中gain this insight and perspective和前一句的providing insight and perspective呼应的很好 但是我觉得你这句里面的 regarding one’s place in society and in the physical an metaphysical worlds.说得太玄乎了 要展开说清楚并不容易 你这段只有三句话 明显是underdeveloped  


    1 Obviously, Taking courses outside the student's field of study have many advangtes for student’s academic study .2 Broad knowledge helps people thinking and solving problems from multi-side and multi-angle. 3 For example, Tombs excavation need  iarcheology, sociology, biology, chemistry professionals to participate         in. 4 Besides, Science education helps to improve students' ability of mathematical logic and arts education can help cultivate students' humanities quality and emotional intelligence . 5 Various problems in the world is increasingly complex,and many of them need to be solved by using a multidisciplinary comprehensive knowledge and interdisciplinary approach . 6 In addition, Interdisciplinary is a hot topic in modern times, various disciplines can learn from each other. 7 For example, Johh von Neumann with math background made important contribution to computer science, economy,  quantum mechanics  and almost all the field of mathematics.8 Taking courses outside the student's field of study is also good for students’personal life. 9 Now some people pointed out that college students' academic pressure is more and more heavy, taking course outside will increase their study pressure. Nevertheless, most students will find more interest outside their field of study. 10 It’s a kind of relaxation for students to choose  other courses  according to their own interests and hobbies .11  For example, physics students can choose to listen to music appreciation course. 12 Besides, To participate in these disciplines outside the course allows students to make more friends and participate in a rich variety of activitives, making their life more colorful.

比起上一段的3句话，这一段有12句 额的神啊:L  段落篇幅一般控制在5-6句比较合适 你可否解释一下为什么你会写这么长的段落以及你觉得写这么长有什么问题

另外你的整体思路先说这个政策好，又说这个政策不好，结果就是你没有一个能自圆其说的立场。
这道题怎么处理 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1779635-1-1.html 这个提纲可以参考一下




    However,The claim saying “ should require every student” and “ a variety of “ is not  appropriate.First of all, Such a request  infringed  the rights of students choose their education.Secondly , Student electiing courses outside professional field need to pay more tuition fees, which will no doubt increase the economic burden of students.Besides,there are  various ways to obtain the other discipline knowledge. Moreover,Classroom teaching has its own defects, for instance , the teaching time and place is too fixed,.Students can now study the network courses freely available, such as  Yale open courses ,borrow books from the library,  or  download papers from the network .


    In the final analysis, universities can encourage student to take courses that they are interested in outside the student's field of study according to their economic conditions .And these course will play a important role in expand their horizons and shape their future life.

tesolchinaUID??2191404

dramaticlly 发表于 2014-10-16 07:00
我也来报个名吧
10.31 首次G
加拿大本科

你时间不多了 不过海本应该基础不错吧 按这个帖子的格式发篇习作给我看看

Amelia2014UID??3570778

我下月就要考了。准备每天写一篇给王老师点评，可以吗？:loveliness:

槭树下的夕熙UID??3470225

The author's argument is not convincing. Although it may be apparent that we should open a cafe which take the place of the children's book section to compete with Fegal Books, there are several aspects the recommender has failed to take into account.

To begin with, the argument is based on a wrong thought that opening a cafe is attractive for customers. It seems quite reasonable at the first glance. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. Perhaps the customers do not like or do not need a cafe in the Monarch Books. For instance, it may be more noisy and crowded because some people may come to the cafe for a rest or meeting their friends. Customers who read, choose or buy books in Monarch Books may be disrupted and annoyed. Moreover, maybe there is a quite popular cafe house near the Monarch Books. It is waste of money and space for them to have a new cafe in the book store. Unless all the aspects like above are proved to be unlikely and impossible, the assumption cannot be used to support the argument.

What is more, the recommender made a mistake that the children's book section will become less popular. It is lack of evidences. It may be true that the percentage of children under ten has dropped, but maybe the whole population is increasing which lead to a growing number of children. In addition, it is very likely that the population of children is increasing in this area but not in the whole country. The result of the national census is not convincing. To strengthen his argument, the author need to give more analysis and details to show the exact situation in this area.

Last but not least, the assumption is of short legitimacy because the author assumes that the Monarch Books is the optional choice. It is very possible that other approaches can be equally or even more worthwhile for getting a better result. For example, we can organize some activities like Reading Days to encourage people to read more books. We do not need to worry about the decorations, transportations of raw materials and even the salaries of the new staffs for the new cafe. What we need to do is to have a brilliant mind about the organization. What is more, we have no ideas whether Regal Books get benefits from its new cafe or not. Even if the cafe in the book store has been proved effective and valuable, it does not follow that the same conditions and situations in Regal Books will reappear in Monarch Books. The recommendation for a new cafe is a fallacious reasoning unless the author can rule out any other possibilities by providing persuasive evidences.

To sum up, this argument is lack of a more complete analysis. Much more work is needed by the Board of Directors of Monarch Books before making a decision to open the new cafe by discontinuing the children’s book section.

槭树下的夕熙UID??3470225

槭树下的夕熙 发表于 2014-10-20 22:56
The author's argument is not convincing. Although it may be apparent that we should open a cafe whic ...

请王老师点评~~~
今天写的有点晚了，没有来得及自评，不过还是希望老师能帮我看一下
还有10天就考试了
~~~~(>_<)~~~~

tesolchinaUID??2191404

Amelia2014 发表于 2014-10-20 22:50
我下月就要考了。准备每天写一篇给王老师点评，可以吗？

建议你先写提纲 1+3的英语句子 然后用汉语解释思路 思路没问题再写全文 否则有可能惨不忍睹

tesolchinaUID??2191404

槭树下的夕熙 发表于 2014-10-20 22:56
The author's argument is not convincing. Although it may be apparent that we should open a cafe whic ...

题目也不抄怎么看啊