argument 35 同主题练习

纪晓晴UID：3561823

谢谢老师的点评！根据老师的指点又把文章改了一下，黑线加粗部分是文章小的改动 段首括号中是文章结构的改动。
感觉上次的不足是：没有很好的说清楚中间段和结论的关系，有些地方没有举例子不够具体，以及中间段内部的层次问题、

Topic 35: The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

According to the letter, the owner suggests modifying the showerheads to restrict maximum water flow in all buildings since it seems to work quiet well in the first three building. The owner claims that this change can decrease the water usage and increase profits for the company. To evaluate the suggestion, we need to ask more detailed questions about the actual amount of water usage and the profits and the attitude of the tenants.

such as 这里用about比较好 要不就得列出一些问题来


（usage of water）(去掉besides主要就是用水的行为，举出一个可能性，做一个关于用户行为的调查)
To begin with, we need to know whether the usage of water （注意时态和情态）decline or not. The tenants’ behavior may change according to the restriction. For example, in the past, they spent 40 minutes going shower and now it will take more than one hour, since the amount of water per minutes is dwindling. If that is the case, the total amount will not decrease. That is to say, we need to compare the length of time in water usage. So we can make a survey to the tenants about whether they will change their behavior as a reaction or solution for the restriction. Until we get enough information about the behavior of tenants, we cannot implement the change unscrupulously.

the tenants’ behavior指的是什么？   这句话没讲完 为什么就扯到survey上面去了  
Besides开始跟前面的内容完全接不上啊  


(profit can increase) (去掉后面住户是否会离开的这个点，放到下一段了~~)
Moreover, we need to know whether the profits can increase by this method. Considering the profits, we should take cost and revenue into account. So if it does increase the profit, we need to know the cost invested. For example, the restriction will require more changes in the infrastructure and the more labors are needed. Thus, we need to analyze how much funds are needed to implement the restriction and we need to know the decline in water usage. Comparing those figures, we can conclude whether they can increase their profits.

take into account的主语怎么能是amount呢  你怎么想的？  
cost invested 指的啥？  

(Real attitude)（增加了用户满意度和收入的联系，把前一段的后面部分写在这一段，先说为什么要了解用户满意度，以及文章中的弱点，建议做一个调查）
In addition, we need to know the real attitude of tenants in all apartments. We need to know whether the change will cause the decline of tenants, which may also affect the revenue. It is not clear that the reaction in first three buildings can represent that in all the buildings. A survey is needed to find out the real attitude of tenants. The few complaints cannot imply the satisfaction of tenants. Maybe they choose to complain with others or they choose to leave. In the other hand, we need to the attitude of tenants in other buildings. If more tenants are not satisfies by the change, they will choose to leave the apartment. In turn, it will lead to the decline of revenue, which will not help the company increase their profits. In other words, the change cannot lead a positive effect on the company.

这个和题目的结论利润增加的关联在哪里 写着写着就离题了 😓  


Overall, more questions is needed to asked and answered. A narrow sample cannot fully represent the whole subject. Thus carefully examination is needed for the company to make a prudent policy.