issue51 还有6天，重写当年的考题，欢迎指教

happymichelleUID: 154082

去年3月考的就是这是这道题，当时没准备，而且我又不擅长写教育类，感觉写的应该很烂，幸好有arg保底，成绩才说得过去
这回重写，欢迎排砖，知道大家都很忙，不用看得很细地说，多谢！
51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

The speaker's assertion that effective education must meet the individual needs and interests to have merit is wrongheaded.  Misunderstanding the value of education, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of education, which should not only include develop their interests but also teach them the basic knowledge and fundamental skills as well.

The first reason I disagree with the speaker is that this only interests-oriented education can prevent schools from teaching students basic skills and knowledge, which are essential in their future lives.  As we know, since children are in lack of self-control, they are more easily to addict to computer games and some of them even become crazy fan of such games.  In this case, should school design computer games course for children simply in order to meet their interests?  Nearly no one would expect this result.  In fact, true effective education should provide students more basic knowledge including natural science and social science such as mathematics, literary, without which children can hardly acquire logical analysis and emotional thinking to live in the future.  Therefore, education should not design courses merely according to individual's taste.

In addition, education can hardly be effective by meeting everybody's needs.  On one hand, students especially children change their interests so quick that any trial to keep pace with the change bootless.  For example, given a new toy, children are so easily to be distracted from what they are doing at hand, the same as their interests.  It is quite natural for a child saying "I want to be a pilot on day" at this moment, to say "I will become a scientist in the future" at the next moment.  Since children's interests are not consolidate and easy to change, it is almost a impossible mission for the school to arrange courses according to different students' interests.  Moreover, lacking in the teacher resources is another reason to limit this teaching method.  Thus, this method is unpractical both for students and teachers, not to say “effective”.

Admittedly, individual needs and interests, playing significant role in one’s career, should not be neglected for the reason that they can inspire desire and encourage students to pursue what they like.  As Einstein said, “interests are the best teachers”, without interests, our lives seem so dull in this mundane world that we cannot find the individual value.  So one of the functions of education should be to develop the interests of the individual and the significance of his/her value.  However, the importance of individual needs and interests does not mean that we should only emphasize this function and ignore other important objectives.

In the final analysis, it is unfair and arbitrary for the speaker to conclude individual need and interests are the only criterion in determining whether education is truly effective.  To meet students’ interest is just one function of education while many other objectives should be included. Only by taking practical comprehension, interests satisfaction, and responsibility to teach basic knowledge, into consideration can education become truly effective.

sunnylyon2004UID: 187852

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

The speaker's assertion that effective education must meet the individual needs and interests to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the value of education, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of education, which should not only include develop their interests but also teach them the basic knowledge and fundamental skills as well.

The first reason I disagree with the speaker is that this only interests-oriented education can (would)prevent schools from teaching students basic skills and knowledge, which are essential in their future lives. As we know, since children are in lack of self-control, they are more easily to addict to computer games and some of them even become crazy fan of such games. In this case, should school design computer games course for children simply in order to meet their interests? Nearly no one would expect this result. In fact, true effective education should provide studentswith more basic knowledge including natural science and social science such as mathematics, literary, without which children can hardly acquire logical analysis and emotional thinking to live in the future. Therefore, education should not design courses merely according to individual's taste.第一个理由是阻碍学校传授基本科学知识

In addition, education can hardly be effective by meeting everybody's needs. On one hand, students especially children change their interests so quick(quickly) that any trial to keep pace with the changeis bootless. For example, given a new toy, children are so easily to be distracted from what they are doing at hand, the same as their interests. It is quite natural(common,感觉好一点) for a child saying "I want to be a pilot on day" at this moment, to say "I will become a scientist in the future" at the next moment. Since children's interests are not consolidate and easy to change, it is almost a impossible mission for the school to arrange courses according to different students' interests. Moreover, lacking in the teacher resources is another reason to limit(which limits) this teaching method. Thus, this method is unpractical both for students and teachers, not to say “effective”.第二个理由是不切实际

Admittedly, individual 'sneeds and interests, playing significant role in one’s career, should not be neglected for the reason (fact,感觉好一些)that they can inspire desire and encourage students to pursue what they like. As Einstein said, “interests are the best teachers”, without interests, our lives seem so dull in this mundane world that we cannot find the individual value. So one of the functions of education should be to develop the interests of the individual and the significance of his/her value. However, the importance of individual needs and interests does not mean that we should only emphasize this function and ignore other important objectives.
此段让步,得体
In the final analysis, it is unfair and arbitrary for the speaker to conclude individual need and interests are the only criterion in determining whether education is truly effective. To meet students’ interest is just one function of education while many other objectives should be included.  Onlyby taking practical comprehension, interests satisfaction, and responsibility to teach basic knowledge, into consideration can education become truly effective.
本文内容充分,结构合理,语言流畅.运用了倒装, 句式等(红笔)等,使文章颇有文才.

但是事例方面,还显的不够充分. 第2段是举电脑游戏的例子,是作为假定事实的事例第3段写小孩子兴趣变来变去,也是作为假定事实的事例,第4段是引用名言.若增加一种列数字,或者历史事件的例子, 会使论证方式更多样化.(虽然,我自己觉得要找到这样的例子难度好大!)

总之,我觉得本文写的很不错,至少应该在5分以上.:)

happymichelleUID: 154082

感谢sunnylyon2004细致的修改！你的建议都很正确

关于假定的事例我还有点疑惑，你的意思是说最好能用些facts（指有名有姓的人干的一些大家都知道的事情么？）
我觉得小孩的兴趣变化，还是缺乏自控都是基于我们平时看到的事实，应该也算是一种fact吧
有点糊涂得说~

sunnylyon2004UID: 187852

u r very welcome:)
呵呵，其实关于例证，假设，事实等我也区分的不大清楚，刚才看了一个帖子，问能否写成老外280那种象argument的文章，pooh的回答是＂写成老外280篇那样的格式也是可行的。而且假设的办法是相当好用的，这相当于例证＂，所以我想，不论是真实的例子，假定的例子，还是有名有姓的例子，只要是例子，就可以来支持自己的观点．

我个人是觉得有名有姓的例子会比其他的例子来的更有说服力一点，不过我觉得，这应该不是主要的，不管是什么例子，只要有就好：）

我的一点看法，不知对否：）

LSDUID: 157855

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

The speaker's assertion that effective education must meet the individual needs and interests to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the value of education, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of education, which should not only include develop their interests but also teach them the basic knowledge and fundamental skills as well.我认为中心句再写的明确点比较好。

The first reason I disagree with the speaker is that this only interests-oriented education canmay prevent schools from teaching students basic skills and knowledge, which are essential in their future lives. As we know, since children are in lack of self-control, they are more easily to addict to computer games and some of them even become crazy fan of such games. In this case, should school design computer games course for children simply in order to meet their interests? Nearly no one would expect this result这里显得指代不明了，最好明确写出. In fact, true effective education should provide students more basic knowledge including natural science？？指什么？？reasoning, analyzing and social science社会科学？不是你后面的那些把 such as mathematics, literary, without which children can hardly acquire logical analysis and emotional thinking to live in the future. Therefore, education should not design courses merely according to individual's taste.

In addition, education can hardly be effective by meeting everybody's needs. On one hand, students especially children change their interests so quickquickly that any trial to keep pace with the changeseems bootless. For example, given a new toy, children are so easily to be distracted from what they are doing at hand, the same as their interests. It is quite natural for a child saying "I want to be a pilot on day" at this moment, to say "I will become a scientist in the future" at the next moment. Since children's interests are not consolidate and easy to change, it is almost an impossible mission for the school to arrange coursescurriculum according to different students' interests. Moreover, lacking in the teacher resources is another reason to limit this teaching method. Thus, this method is unpractical both for students and teachers, not to say “effective”.

Admittedly,大负小正，这么用不错啊 individual needs and interests, playing significant role in one’s career, should not be neglected for the reason that they can inspire desire and encourage students to pursue what they like这句话结构好乱阿，改改把. As Einstein said, “interests are the best teachers”, without interests, our lives seem so dull in this mundane world that we cannot find the individual value. So one of the functions of education should be to develop the interests of the individual and the significance of his/her value. However, the importance of individual needs and interests does not mean that we should only emphasize this function and ignore other important objectives.这里为什么光就interests不就need谈一下呢？后面一个更好说呢

In the final analysis, it is unfair and arbitrary像arg for the speaker to conclude individual need and interests are the only criterion in determining whether education is truly effective. To meet students’ interest is just one function of education while many other objectives should be included. Only by taking practical comprehension, interests satisfaction, and responsibility to teach basic knowledge, into consideration can education become truly effective