Issue154 希望网友看看，28日上考场,挣扎中....

千年一叹2000UID：192373

就快考了,急呀!!!劳烦各位指点指点俺的ISSUE吧.
------题目154------(超高频)
Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.
------正文------
Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearsay of children tends towards the formation of character. On the one hand, I find the speaker conclusion that both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools is reasonable. On the other hand, I deem the speaker assumption that education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators is unconvincing.

First of all, people should not look down upon a group of professional educators. As professional educators, they are knowledgeable and they can offer a myriad of significant means to teach children. Thus professional educators play an important role to education all over the world. Nowadays, the competition of economics between the different countries is the competition of education between the different countries in nature. Therefore, we need innumerable good professional educators to teach our children.

Secondly, both parents and communities should be involved in the local schools indeed. Admittedly, parents and communities could establish educational environment to teach our children further and better. For example, a child who do not understand a lesson or do not remember the new words when the teacher taught he in the classes need someone other than his teacher to solve these problem. Perhaps he could ask his mother to help, or perhaps he could go to the communities nearby to ask some help. When both parents and communities would be involved in the local schools, they could offer more and more chances to help our children to finish their classes. In addition, the communities who would be involved in the local school could provide more chances to help our children put their theory into practice as well.

Thirdly, without the support of parents and communities, education might not develop greatly only depend on the duties of a group of professional educators. There are a myriad of cases to indicate this point in history. For example, some famous scientists depended on the education from their parents to study, when their teachers peremptory to claimed that they were not intelligent in contrast of their peer.

In conclusion, the author believes that education is too significant to leave only to a group of professional educators, and thus he recommends that both parents and communities should have to be involved in the local schools. However, I deem advanced education need the support of parents, communities and a large group of better professional educators.

iverUID：198348

支持你

morwindUID：202286

字数少了一点， 所以在展开的时候不是非常深入，建议有些句子可以再精简一点，比如I find the speaker conclusion......等，给人的感觉比较chinglish，用in my observation 之类的词组会好一些

而且好像没有提到关于community的作用

不过开头还是很精彩的，而且文章比较流畅，呵呵如果我是评卷人的话会给你4.5分

zoesmileUID：198494

我刚刚也写了这题，觉得教育好难写，先占位，呆会儿看，借鉴一下！有空你也帮我看看把，等一下贴出来
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=267197

imjasonUID：176604

偶觉得字数少了点，大众模板的痕迹有点重

zoesmileUID：198494

字少了,感觉第一段论证不太合理,还有就是其实第二段在最后最好再具体说些社区应该怎么帮忙,第三段举例是其实你可以举一些中国人的例子,他们不认识随你诌,加个定语说很有名什么的,感觉比用some scientist 好,

timeleaverUID：191447

觉得感觉上差一些，不是特别具有整体的感觉，有点散

其余同意大家说得，呵呵