argument17 G89 第一篇 拍拍拍 拍拍拍

huangdaoUID: 190018

Argument17  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
共用时间：30分0秒     302 words
------题目------
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.
'Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ—which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks—has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance.'
------提纲------
1 开头
2 每周两次是否有必要
3 多定的卡车是否对Walnut Grove's town有用
4 参与调查的回应者是否能代表大多数人的意见
5 总结
------正文------
The person asserted that the town council should continue to use EZ Disposal not switch to ABC Waste, although, it has raise its monthly fee. Because EZ collects trash twice a week, and ordered more trucks. Meanwhile, the most respondents satisfied the performance of its. It seems reasonable, yet the flaws make it weak to prove the result he concludes.

Firstly, is it necessary to collect trash twice a week? Maybe the citizens of the town is only a few, and the trash per week is not so much needed to collect twice a week, once a week is adequate for the town, it will waste the money to support the service.

Secondly, are the more trucks ordered by EZ Disposal make sense for the town? The trucks ordered may not be used in the Walnut Grove town, but other towns nearby, so the more trucks do nothing about the service EZ Disposal offer to the town, and it will not be considered as an advantage of the EZ Disposal.

Thirdly, are the people taking this survey randomly selected and all the attendants responding the survey? On the one hand, maybe the joined people are mostly the ones who are rich and need more service for trash collection but take small ratio of all citizens. The points of view of them also need to be considered, but not the main stream. On the other hand, most of the people who take part in the survey may not respond the survey, and the respondents may favor the EZ, but not the most.

To conclude, there is no evidence that the ABC's service less quality than the EZ, and ABC receive more money per month. The council need to scrutiny carefully about the service offered by the two companies, and make a wise decision.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-3 at 14:35 ]

jason0926UID: 200697

The person(arguer) asserted that the town council should continue to use EZ Disposal(and) not switch to ABC Waste, although, it has raise(raised) its monthly fee. Because EZ collects (collected和后面时态一致)trash twice a week, and ordered more trucks. Meanwhile, the(去掉) most respondents satisfied the performance of its(EZ Disposal,its换掉). It seems(to be) reasonable, yet the flaws make it weak to prove the result he concludes. (建议你最好选择一个模板写,这个开头不怎么好)

Firstly, is it necessary to collect trash twice a week? Maybe the citizens of the town is (are)only a few, and (collecting)the trash per week is not so much needed to collect twice a week(这句错误太多,前后矛盾,改!!), once a week(无主语) is adequate for the town, it will waste the money to support the service. (论证太单薄)

Secondly, are the more trucks ordered by EZ Disposal make sense for the town? The trucks ordered may not be used in the Walnut Grove town, but other towns nearby, so the more trucks do nothing about the service EZ Disposal offer to the town, and it will not be considered as an advantage of the EZ Disposal. (同样,错误语法多,论证不够,建议多看范文)

Thirdly, are the people taking this survey randomly selected and all the attendants responding the survey? On the one hand, maybe the joined people are mostly the ones who are rich and need more service for trash collection but take small ratio of all citizens. The points of view of them also need to be considered, but not the main stream. On the other hand, most of the people who take part in the survey may not respond the survey, and the respondents may favor the EZ, but not the most. (建议看看别人对SURVAY是怎么反驳的)

To conclude, there is no evidence that the ABC's service less quality than the EZ, and ABC receive more money per month. The council need to scrutiny carefully about the service offered by the two companies, and make a wise decision.

文章整体错误多,特别是语法错误,论证不够,内容太少太单薄,建议楼主赶快多看范文,尽快找到自己的模板, 还有多加练习,一开始可以不限时,argu只要多练习,进步会很快的,加油!!!!!
ps.还有好多错误没有一一改出,建议搂主还是重写,先看看范文吧!!

[ Last edited by jason0926 on 2005-8-3 at 19:14 ]

huangdaoUID: 190018

多谢 努力 努力！