argument153 G89组8.6作业

liulin12369UID: 2112878

153,the following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.
“Even since the 1950’s, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television ---programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.---should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violent shown during prime time.”

The editor recommend that television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violent shown during prime time to in order to reduce the rate of television violent program. To support this recommendation the auditor point out that parents incline to reduce the violent program during the prime time while the children who view more this kind of programs display more violent behavior than those who do not view at all. The auditor also indicate that teenage crime parallel the increase in violence shown on television. Careful scrutiny of this argument reveals several logical faults, which render it unconvincing.

Firstly, there is no evidence shows that the parents hold some negative view on the violent program displays in prime time. If the group of parents are interested in a literary film, they may reject the program in order to pursue more time to enjoy their own favorite channel. Perhaps, when they find the children spend large mount of time on the TV and reluctant to do their homework, they will blame any the prime time program in this case.

Secondly, even if parents consider the program indeed do harm to the growing of their children, the author fail to establish a relationship between the increasing violent behavior in their home environment of children and watching this program more frequently. For instance, maybe, these group of children selected to study are initially brisk and robust while the violent behavior only shows their happiness or exciting. Furthermore, the violent behavior represents only in their home environment probably means they desire more attention of their parents.

Thirdly, even if the children became more violent after watching this program, there are still several alternatives, which make this crime result unreasonable. If the teenage criminals only commit theft or destroy the government’s network, the crime cannot attribute to the effect caused by the violent program. Moreover, maybe, during the time of the observation, the society was upset and the public security fail to restraint the potential crime, therefore the crime in teenage is not due to the violent TV show.

Finally, even though we suppose all the consumptions are correct and thus the violent programs lead to teenage crime, still we cannot arrive at the conclusion that only by reducing the prime time violent program could the government lower the rate of teenage crime. If the other time period display much more violent programs, the children still could contact with the negative influence. Extremely, if they buy themselves files of DVD about this content, also the violent impact could affect the children. Meanwhile, even if there are no violent movies, there still no assurance that the violent cartoon books, pictures, and novels will be sold nowadays.

In sum, the author’s recommendation is logically unwarranted. To strengthen it the author should provide convincing evidence that the violent program affect children negatively, as well as that this effect lead children to crime. To better evaluate the argument we also need more information the reducing the violent in the prime time is the only and effective way to lower the teenage crime rate.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-7 at 13:32 ]

polymathUID: 179557

帮你顶一个！:)偶自己作业写得真少！:L

iamfeatherUID: 202850

我对变色工具用的不好，先试一下

153,the following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.
“Even since the 1950’s, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television ---programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.---should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violent shown during prime time.”

The editor recommend that television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violent shown during prime time to in order to reduce the rate of television violent program. To support this recommendation the auditor point out that parents incline to reduce the violent program during the prime time while the children who view more this kind of programs display more violent behavior than those who do not view at all. 不用把原文都写出来，只用几个词组概括就可以了The auditor also indicate that teenage crime parallel the increase in violence shown on television. Careful scrutiny of this argument reveals several logical faults, which render it unconvincing.开头太长了，restate并不重要，耽误时间
Firstly, there is no evidence shows that the parents hold some negative view on the violent program displays in prime time. 直接指明错在哪里，比如说那个survey的有效性，或者说家长的反应不属实If the group of parents are interested in a literary film, they may reject the program in order to pursue more time to enjoy their own favorite channel. Perhaps, when they find the children spend large mount of time on the TV and reluctant to do their homework, they will blame any the prime time program in this case.最后应有总结

Secondly, even if 让步很好 parents consider the program indeed do harm to the growing of their children, the author fail to establish a relationship between the increasing violent behavior in their home environment of children and watching this program more frequently. For instance, maybe, these group of children selected to study are initially brisk and robust while the violent behavior only shows their happiness or exciting. Furthermore, the violent behavior represents only in their home environment probably means they desire more attention of their parents.这两段都是说那个survey的，可以并作一段，用In addition连接

Thirdly, even if the children became more violent after watching this program, there are still several alternatives, which make this crime result unreasonable. 这句没看懂？If the teenage criminals only commit theft or destroy the government’s network, the crime cannot attribute to the effect caused by the violent program. Moreover, maybe, during the time of the observation, the society was upset and the public security fail to restraint the potential crime, therefore the crime in teenage is not due to the violent TV show.论点不明确，可以说作者把暴力犯罪和看电视联系起来是因果无关

Finally, even though we suppose all the consumptions are correct and thus the violent programs lead to teenage crime, still we cannot arrive at the conclusion that only by reducing the prime time violent program could the government lower the rate of teenage crime. If the other time period display much more violent programs, the children still could contact with the negative influence. Extremely, if they buy themselves files of DVD about this content, also the violent impact could affect the children. Meanwhile, even if there are no violent movies, there still no assurance that the violent cartoon books, pictures, and novels will be sold nowadays.这一段还好，展开比较全面，最后要总结

In sum, the author’s recommendation is logically unwarranted. To strengthen it the author should provide convincing evidence that the violent program affect children negatively, as well as that this effect lead children to crime. To better evaluate the argument we also need more information the reducing the violent in the prime time is the only and effective way to lower the teenage crime rate.

每一段第一句要把错误明确指出来，不一定每一段都要让步，还有中间三段比较好，小错误可以合并
[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-7 at 13:32 ]

[ Last edited by iamfeather on 2005-8-7 at 14:12 ]

liulin12369UID: 2112878

今天一看，发现拍到很到位呢~~多谢了