Argument8 敬请大家赐教，谢谢. 请留下链接，方便回拍

Archer1123UID: 206148

argument
8. The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.

“Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country.”
1.        无数据表明增长会持续，同时增加都是相对量，基数很低，增加的百分比就很大
2.        只提到热销品的销量，公司的其它产品如何未提到，且未于其它公司的同类产品比较
3.        Omni Inc和Mesa Food有何相关性
4.        即使在小地区有增长的潜力，不代表应该推广到全国。

In the argument, the author claims that Mesa Foods (MF) has strong growth potential and its best-selling product—Diabolique Salsa (DS) should be expanded throughout the country. That statement is unfounded and cannot be accepted under the examination and scrutiny. Though the author cites data to substantiate the conclusion. At the first glance, the argument seems plausible and reasonable, on the second thought; however, as a matter of fact it is not persuasive as it stands.

To begin with, the author's conclusion bases on a questionable deduction that the increase in the past years can guarantee the increase in the future. Based on the data provided in the argument, there is not any evidence supporting that the MF will keep the current increase continuously. At the same time, the increase is a relative data. If the base is very small, the percent will change largely even if there are only a few increased quantities. The author does not provide the scientific and believable date to convince us that MF really has strong growth potentially.  

Further more, in the argument, the author only tells us the sales of DS—the best selling product, however, does not mention the other products of MF. The possibility cannot be excluded that the other products of Mf have had decreased sales over each of the past three years. What’s more, we are told nothing about the sales data of similar products of other companies. Maybe all snack foods like DS sell well in the past years. Moreover perhaps other companies’ products similar to DS sales are better than MF’s DS. The sale of one product cannot represent the whole condition of the company.

In addition, the author fails to tell us the relationship between Omni Inc. and MF. It is hard or impossible to deduce that MF is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food. Even though MF adopts the same policy as Omni Inc., it cannot warrant its strategy is successful. We cannot find any evidence or data that demonstrate those people whose ages are from 14 to 25 really contribute to increasing the sales. This evidence seems unhelpful to strengthen the author’s conclusion.

Last but not least, even if we can accept that DS has sold well and keep the increase within a relatively small region of the country in the future, it does not mean we have reasons to expand DS throughout the country. The author fails to take into account other factors which can influence the sale among the different districts. There are numerous backgrounds, such as the culture, life styles, favorite tastes, even the religion, any of which can change the sale of snack foods.

To sum up, based on what discussed and analyzed above, it is clearly that the argument is invalid and misleading, and the conclusion reached in the argument is too presumptuous to be accepted. In order to make the conclusion more convincing, the author should gather more scientific and specific data, and provide more efficiency and receivable evidence to support the conclusion.

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

argument
8. The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.

“Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country.”
1.        无数据表明增长会持续，同时增加都是相对量，基数很低，增加的百分比就很大
2.        只提到热销品的销量，公司的其它产品如何未提到，且未于其它公司的同类产品比较
3.       Omni Inc和Mesa Food有何相关性
个人觉得这个驳斥点不是特别好，因为也许omni inc就是一个类似于调查中介公司的，他们就帮助客户公司做一些调查。我觉得他和mesa foods是什么关系不太影响argument的逻辑吧。
4.        即使在小地区有增长的潜力，不代表应该推广到全国。

In the argument, the author claims that Mesa Foods (MF) has strong growth potential and its best-selling product—Diabolique Salsa (DS) should be expanded throughout the country. Thatthis好点吧 statement is unfounded and cannot be accepted under the examination and scrutiny. Though the author cites data to substantiate the conclusion. At the first glance, the argument seems plausible and reasonable, on the second thought; however, as a matter of fact it is not persuasive as it stands.
觉得句子之间的连贯性不是很好，我觉得把后面几个句子调整一下顺序，比如：At the first glance, the argument seems plausible and reasonable because of some data the author cites to substantiate the conclusion. However,on the second thought,the statemetn is , as a matter of fact, unfounded an cannnot be acccepted under the careful examniation adn scrutiny.

To begin with, the author's conclusion bases on a questionable deduction that the increase in the past years can guarantee the increase in the future. Based on the data provided in the argument, there is not any evidence supporting that the MF will keep the current increase continuously. At the same time, the increase is a relative data.这句表达不是很地道，建议改为：the data about increase is a relative one If the base is very small, the percent will change largely even if there are only a few increased quantities. 这两句略显简单，如果在 if前面加个 in that把两个句子连成一个可能更好。The author does not provide the scientific and believable date to convince us that MF really has strong growth potentially.  

Further more, in the argument, the author only tells 这个词过于口语话，建议用正式点的大词us the sales of DS—the best selling product, however, does not mention the other products of MF. 这里加个连词吧，使段落流畅点，比如可以加个in this case/ under such circomstance之类的，The possibility cannot be excluded that the other products of Mf have had decreased sales over during 好点 each of the past three years. What’s more, we are told nothing about the sales data of similar products of other companies. Maybe all snack foods like DS sell well in the past years. Moreover perhaps other companies’ products similar to DS sales are better than MF’s DS. The sale of one product cannot represent the whole condition of the company.
句子之间的流畅性稍微弱了点。象句子之间有因果关系的最好用上therefor,so 之类的连词以让ＥＴＳ明显感觉到你的逻辑．而且有些句子不够精练，比如，第一句可以精练为：the author only presents us with the sales of DS-the best selling product while mentioning nothing about other products in MF.你原来的表达有些中国化了．

In addition, the author fails to tell us the relationship between Omni Inc. and MF. It is hard or 加个even吧　impossible to deduce that MF is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food. 这里的逻辑我没怎么理解　Even though MF adopts the same policy as Omni Inc., it cannot warrant its strategy is successful，这个词感觉用的不是很到位，可能sagacious还恰当点吧， We cannot find any evidence or data that demonstrate those people whose ages are from 14 to 25 really contribute to increasing the sales. This evidence seems unhelpful to strengthen the author’s conclusion.
觉得句型可以多变点。以丰富文才，另外，有些用词可以在斟酌下，有些词语略显得随意了，如tell, find 等等．当然，有更好的词就替换，没的话还是可以用的．不会有什么大影响．

Last but not least, even if we can accept that DS has been sold well and keep时态要和前面一致． the increase within a relatively small region of the country in the future, it does not mean we不是我们要扩大，是公司要扩大 have reasons to expand DS throughout the country. The author fails to take into account other factors which can influence the sale among in 好点 the different districts. There are numerous backgrounds, such as the culture, life styles, favorite tastes, even the religion, any of which can change the sale of snack foods.

To sum up, based on what has been discussed and analyzed above, it is clearly that the argument is invalid and misleading, and the conclusion reached in the argument is too presumptuous to be accepted.最好再稍微提一下ＷＨＹ，要不然这些句子就太摸板化了． In order to make the conclusion more convincing, the author should gather more scientific and specific data, and provide more efficiency and receivable evidence to support the conclusion.
最后一段有点空，象在套摸板，注意一下

总的说来文章的逻辑很清晰，条理很清楚。稍微注意下用词和句试的多样话，有些表达过于平淡了