issue66 As people rely more and more on technology to solv

FLYING_HEARTUID: 28085

参考了一下别人的提纲，还用金山词霸查了几个词


issue 66
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability
of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

issue:

I disagree with the statement above that, "As people rely more and more
on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for
themselves will surely deteriorate." After fully evacuation of the
influence of technology on humans, we will find that instead of impeding,
actually technology facilities human’s ability to think for themselves.

From the history of technology development, we can see obviously that
technology has extricated humans out of heave physical work and
modified mental work, but it can’t be a substitute for humans’ thought.
It is sure that humans no longer have to spend most of their time doing
some physical work such as preying, fishing and cooking, as their
ancestors once have to do in order to survive. But apparently technology
can’t solve all humans’ problems, for instance, the philosophical
problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never be raveled out by
technology. Only can it be figured out when humans’ thought is
involved.

Along with the evolution of technology, it has been expanding our
ken of knowledge and making our knowledge’s frontier more longer
than ever, thus, there comes new questions to us. While technology is
easing the process of solving common problems, we can focus more
on the new coming questions. During the process of fixing such
problems our ability of thinking on ourselves is improved. Take
computer for instance, during the development of computer, the
computer producing can be made faster and easier by relevant
technology, whereas we can put more time satisfying the arising
demand of computer of new architecture.

Further more, without technology some profound thoughts can’t
be done, since these thoughts’ prerequisite can only be provided
by some highly-developed technology. For example, before the
invention of telescope, it is impossible for humans to do some
research on cosmos, for we even can’t see it how could we realize it.
Only with telescopes can research of the cosmos such as the
realization of solar system be done and only with more advanced
telescope, the X-ray telescope can more detailed research of the
cosmos be possible. The higher the technology is, the more problems
we can thought are.

In sum, the statement overstates the influence of technology on humans,
at least to some extent. When it comes to common work, technology is
enough and humans’ thinking is not necessary. But when it comes to
some specified problems or new coming questions, humans’ thinking
is indispensable, and sometimes technology could facilitate the process
of solving such problems.

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

issue 66
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability
of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

issue:

I disagree with the statement above that, "As people rely more and more
on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for
themselves will surely deteriorate."（最好避免这样平淡的开头） After fully evacuation of（After evaluating accurately） the influence of technology on humans（此句表达含糊）, we will （去掉）find that instead of impeding( intruding into our lives),
actually(多余) technology facilities（has facilitated） human’s ability to think for themselves.

From the history of technology development, we can see obviously that
technology has extricated humans(has freed mankind) out of heave(heavy) physical work and
modified(用complemented会更好) mental work, but it can’t be a substitute for(can never substitute) humans’ thought(mind).
It is (for) sure that humans no longer have to spend most of their time doing
some physical work such as(多余) preying, fishing and cooking, as （多余）their（our）
ancestors once have（had） to do in order to survive. But apparently technology
can’t solve all humans’ problems, for instance, the philosophical
problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never be raveled out by
technology. Only can it be figured out when humans’ thought is
involved.( unless our mentality is involved)

Along with the evolution of technology, it has been expanding our
ken of knowledge and making our knowledge’s frontier more longer
than ever(our horizon of knowledge has been enlarged profoundly ), thus, there comes new questions to us.(therewith the newly-born annoyance brought by new problems) While technology is
easing the process of solving common problems, we can focus more
on the new coming(incoming) questions(ones)(整句可否考虑这样表达 As technology is, the two-edged weapon, helping us smoothing the occurring difficulties, we are fortunately spared to devote ourselves to the inner problems concealed previously) . During the process of fixing such
problems (modification)our ability of thinking on（of） ourselves is(has) improved. Take
computer for instance, during the development of computer, the
computer producing (computers)can be made faster and easier（more easily） by relevant（多余）
technology, whereas we can put more time satisfying the arising
demand of computer of new architecture. (表达不清，可否考虑 therefore we are granted more precious time to satisfy the rising demand of computers of new versions)

Further more, without technology some profound thoughts can’t
be done(provoked), since these thoughts’(the) prerequisite can only be provided
by some highly-developed technology. For example, before the
invention of telescope, it is impossible for humans to do some
research on cosmos, for we even can’t (are incapable of seeing) see it how could we realize it.(let alone the possibility to dig it out or to further study)
Only with telescopes can research of the cosmos such as the
realization( deeper explorations) of solar system be done and only with more advanced
telescope, the X-ray telescope can more detailed research of the
cosmos be possible.(整句有问题, 可否考虑 It’s only through digital telescopes that we are able to explore the marvels of the solar system; it’s only through the X-ray telescopes that we are able to appreciate the inner beauty of the limitless universe.) The higher the technology is, the more problems
we can thought are. (表达不明，可否考虑 The more advanced technology has developed, the more opportunity we have to reflect on what we have achieved as well as what we could achieve.)

In sum, the statement (above) overstates （oversimplify） the influence of technology(technology could have made) on humans,
at least to some extent(赘余). When it comes to common work, technology is
enough and humans’ thinking is not necessary. But when it comes to
some specified problems or new coming questions, humans’ thinking
is indispensable,（此句缺乏理论依据，说服力不够） and sometimes technology could facilitate(rather than block) the process
of solving such problems.

本人愚见：
1.        我们表达“人类”一般用 man, mankind, 而humans and human-beings 常跟animals形成对比， 我建议您用 man 会更符合用语习惯；
2.        每一段的中心句不够明确，论据与论点之间的联系比较松散，例子举得更具体些，多些；
3.        语法上出现一点小错误，特别是 Only…的倒装句型；
4.        句子结构方面请尽量多样化，比如不要总是只用“被动句”；
5.        在写文章之前，本人建议您是否先立个提纲，分析清楚前后的衔接关系，这样写起来会顺畅很多哦。
6.        关于technology 对人类思想界所产生的影响，本人斗胆利用今天早上刚刚才听闻的tragic resulted in technology.
The tragic crash of the space shuttle “Columbia”
Man has expanded himself so enormously that the final frontier------ unlimited but mysterious universe has no longer been a mere mirage, whereas, as he is fulfilling his ambition he finds it impossible to ignore a cruel fact that technology, with its ever-increasing power, can benefit as well as destroy human-being himself. The whole world could never forget this bloody date February 1, 2003, when “Columbia” the manned space shuttle  boasting the most advanced transportation vehicle,carrying 7 outstanding astronauts set its way to destruction.

Man, once again, is sitting before the epitaphs, moaning and reflecting what wrong he has done. But, ‘ The tragedy would never repeat, ’he murmurs to himself, ‘ after all, I could make it much better than ever, better enough to preclude any flaw and fault to happen with my newly improved gadget.’ Once again, he, more confident and a little presumptuous and enterprising, step forward to embrace the brilliant sunshine of another brand new day. That’s the greatness of man, which makes other creatures lusterless.

FLYING_HEARTUID: 28085

回去改一下，太感谢了，：）
Issue 66 As people rely more and more on technology to solve
problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will
surely deteriorate.
Issue:
Nowadays people are always talking about something concerning
technology, some argue that man’s ability of thinking for
themselves will surely deteriorate because of relying more
and more on technology to solve problems. However, after
evaluating accurately the influence of technology on
mankind’s thoughts, I find that instead of impeding our
cogitation, technology has been facilitating man’s ability of
thinking for themselves.

The first and foremost reason why I disagree with above
statement is that not all the problems of man can be fixed via
technology. From the history of technology development,
we can see obviously that technology has freed mankind
out of heavy physical work and complimented mental work,
but it can never substitute man’s mind. For instance, the
construction of a house can be more easily with the technology
of architecture and the computer technology makes some
computation work faster, but some other problems such as
the philosophical problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never
be raveled out by technology, only when man’s mentality is involved
can they be figured out.

Another point why I object the above statement is that not only does
technology facilities some problems, but it also brings us some
incoming questions. During the process of solving these incoming
problems, we can improve out ability of thinking. Along with the
evolution of technology, our horizon of knowledge has been
enlarged profoundly, therewith comes the newly-born problems.
While technology is helping us smoothing the occurring difficulties,
we are fortunately spared to devote ourselves to newly-born
problems. Take the computer for instance, during the development
of computer, technology can make computer production more
easily, therefore we are granted more precious time to satisfy
the rising demand of computers of new kind, during the process
our ability of thinking can be enhanced.

Furthermore, without technology some profound thoughts
can’t be provoked since only some highly-developed technology
can provide the prerequisite of these thoughts. For example,
before the invention of telescope, it is impossible for man to do
some research work on cosmos, for that we are even incapable
of seeing it so we can only let alone the possibility to dig it
out or to further study. It is only through digital telescopes
that we are able to explore the marvels of the solar system;
it is only through the X-ray telescopes that we are capable
of appreciating the inner beauty of the limitless universe.
The more advance technology has developed, the more
opportunity we have to reflect on what we have achieved
as well as what we could achieve.

In sum, the above statement oversimplifies the influence
of technology could have made on man’s thoughts and I
believe that our ability of thinking increased during the
development of technology. The perception that the
opposite of the above statement is true derives from
fully reflection of the influence of technology could
have made on our thoughts.
比第一篇要好，呵呵，不过肯定还有错误

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

Nowadays people are always talking about something concerning
technology, some argue that man’s ability of thinking for(of)
themselves will surely deteriorate because of(because of 这词组一般后跟名词或名词性词组，否则就加上his) relying more
and more on technology to solve problems. However, after
evaluating accurately(Sorry, 我应该提醒您用名词性组合更为妥当，即our deliberate evaluation of) the influence of technology on
mankind’s thoughts, I find that instead of impeding our
cogitation（“意识界”最好不要用此词）, technology has been facilitating man’s ability of
thinking for themselves.（it’s easy to perceive that technology has, instead of impeding our reform in our brains but rather, been facilitating man’s ability of thinking incisively of who we are, and why we are born in this self-revolving blue stone in this immense space.

The first and foremost reason why I disagree with above
statement is that not all (of)the problems of man can be fixed(fix) via
technology. From the history of technology development,
we can see obviously that technology has freed mankind
out of heavy physical work and complimented mental work,
but it can never substitute man’s mind. For instance, the
construction of a house can be more easily with the technology
of architecture and the computer technology makes some
computation work faster, but some other problems such as
the philosophical problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never
be raveled out by technology, only when man’s mentality is involved
can they be figured out.

Another point why I object the above statement is that not only does
technology facilities(facilitate) some problems, but it(多余) also brings（bring） us some
incoming questions. During the process of solving these incoming(inevitable)
problems, we can improve out ability of thinking. Along with the
evolution of technology, our horizon of knowledge has been
enlarged profoundly, therewith comes(eliciting) the newly-born problems.
While technology is helping us smoothing the occurring difficulties,
we are fortunately spared to devote ourselves to newly-born (
problems(chores and odds). Take the computer for instance, during(with) the development
of computer, technology can make computer production more
easily, therefore we are granted more precious time to satisfy
the rising demand of computers of new kind(generation), during the process
our ability of thinking can be enhanced.

Furthermore, without technology some profound thoughts
can’t be provoked since only some highly-developed technology
can provide the prerequisite of these thoughts. For example,
before the invention of telescope, it is impossible for man to do
some research work on cosmos, for that (多余)we are even incapable
of seeing it so we can only let alone the possibility to dig it
out or to further study. It is only through digital telescopes
that we are able to explore the marvels of the solar system;
it is only through the X-ray telescopes that we are capable
of appreciating the inner beauty of the limitless universe.
The more advance （advanced）technology has developed, the more
opportunity we have to reflect on what we have achieved
as well as what we could achieve.

In sum, the above statement oversimplifies the influence
of technology could have made on man’s thoughts and I
believe that our ability of thinking increased during the
development of technology. The perception that the
opposite of the above statement is true derives from
fully reflection of the influence of technology could
have made on our thoughts.(此句表达有点模糊，请再斟酌)

请注意：
1.        ETS 比较倾向与用第三人称he或第一人称复数we，而非第一人称即“I”叙述；
2.        请再参考一下孙远的作文书有关Science and Technology的背景资料，这样或许会让您的作品更加有血有肉点。 ：）
3.        论据还是欠缺点。
这次好很多啦，我的意见毕竟有其局限的一面，请一定再与其他考友切磋，大家一起努力吧，相信能克服一切困难的。愿与大伙儿共勉！

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

Nowadays people are always talking about something concerning
technology, some argue that man’s ability of thinking for(of)
themselves will surely deteriorate because of(because of 这词组一般后跟名词或名词性词组，否则就加上his) relying more
and more on technology to solve problems. However, after
evaluating accurately(Sorry, 我应该提醒您用名词性组合更为妥当，即our deliberate evaluation of) the influence of technology on
mankind’s thoughts, I find that instead of impeding our
cogitation（“意识界”最好不要用此词）, technology has been facilitating man’s ability of
thinking for themselves.（it’s easy to perceive that technology has, instead of impeding our reform in our brains but rather, been facilitating man’s ability of thinking incisively of who we are, and why we are born in this self-revolving blue stone in this immense space.

The first and foremost reason why I disagree with above
statement is that not all (of)the problems of man can be fixed(fix) via
technology. From the history of technology development,
we can see obviously that technology has freed mankind
out of heavy physical work and complimented mental work,
but it can never substitute man’s mind. For instance, the
construction of a house can be more easily with the technology
of architecture and the computer technology makes some
computation work faster, but some other problems such as
the philosophical problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never
be raveled out by technology, only when man’s mentality is involved
can they be figured out.

Another point why I object the above statement is that not only does
technology facilities(facilitate) some problems, but it(多余) also brings（bring） us some
incoming questions. During the process of solving these incoming(inevitable)
problems, we can improve out ability of thinking. Along with the
evolution of technology, our horizon of knowledge has been
enlarged profoundly, therewith comes(eliciting) the newly-born problems.
While technology is helping us smoothing the occurring difficulties,
we are fortunately spared to devote ourselves to newly-born (
problems(chores and odds). Take the computer for instance, during(with) the development
of computer, technology can make computer production more
easily, therefore we are granted more precious time to satisfy
the rising demand of computers of new kind(generation), during the process
our ability of thinking can be enhanced.

Furthermore, without technology some profound thoughts
can’t be provoked since only some highly-developed technology
can provide the prerequisite of these thoughts. For example,
before the invention of telescope, it is impossible for man to do
some research work on cosmos, for that (多余)we are even incapable
of seeing it so we can only let alone the possibility to dig it
out or to further study. It is only through digital telescopes
that we are able to explore the marvels of the solar system;
it is only through the X-ray telescopes that we are capable
of appreciating the inner beauty of the limitless universe.
The more advance （advanced）technology has developed, the more
opportunity we have to reflect on what we have achieved
as well as what we could achieve.

In sum, the above statement oversimplifies the influence
of technology could have made on man’s thoughts and I
believe that our ability of thinking increased during the
development of technology. The perception that the
opposite of the above statement is true derives from
fully reflection of the influence of technology could
have made on our thoughts.(此句表达有点模糊，请再斟酌)

请注意：
1.        ETS 比较倾向与用第三人称he或第一人称复数we，而非第一人称即“I”叙述；
2.        请再参考一下孙远的作文书有关Science and Technology的背景资料，这样或许会让您的作品更加有血有肉点。 ：）
3.        论据还是欠缺点。
这次好很多啦，我的意见毕竟有其局限的一面，请一定再与其他考友切磋，大家一起努力吧，相信能克服一切困难的。愿与大伙儿共勉！

FLYING_HEARTUID: 28085

Nowadays people are always talking about something concerning
technology, some argue that man’s ability of thinking for(of)--->这个是题目中的

themselves will surely deteriorate because of(because of 这词组一般后跟名词或名词性词组，否则就加上his) relying more
and more on technology to solve problems. However, after
evaluating accurately(Sorry, 我应该提醒您用名词性组合更为妥当，即our deliberate evaluation of) the influence of technology on
mankind’s thoughts, I find that instead of impeding our
cogitation（“意识界”最好不要用此词）,---->应该用
什么，你上次提的intruding是对life的
technology has been facilitating man’s ability of
thinking for themselves.（it’s easy to perceive that technology has, instead of impeding our reform in our brains but rather, been facilitating man’s ability of thinking incisively of who we are, and why we are born in this self-revolving blue stone in this immense space.

The first and foremost reason why I disagree with above
statement is that not all (of)--->all不是必须吧
the problems of man can be fixed(fix)---->不是被动式么
via technology. From the history of technology development,
we can see obviously that technology has freed mankind
out of heavy physical work and complimented mental work,
but it can never substitute man’s mind. For instance, the
construction of a house can be more easily with the technology
of architecture and the computer technology makes some
computation work faster, but some other problems such as
the philosophical problem, “What is the meaning of life?”, can never
be raveled out by technology, only when man’s mentality is involved
can they be figured out.

Another point why I object the above statement is that not only does
technology facilities(facilitate) some problems, but it(多余) also brings（bring）---->前面错了,但是not only只是前面倒装
后面应该是brings吧
us some
incoming questions. During the process of solving these incoming(inevitable)
problems, we can improve out ability of thinking. Along with the
evolution of technology, our horizon of knowledge has been
enlarged profoundly, therewith comes(eliciting) the newly-born problems.
While technology is helping us smoothing the occurring difficulties,
we are fortunately spared to devote ourselves to newly-born (
problems(chores and odds). Take the computer for instance, during(with) the development
of computer, technology can make computer production more
easily, therefore we are granted more precious time to satisfy
the rising demand of computers of new kind(generation), during the process
our ability of thinking can be enhanced.

Furthermore, without technology some profound thoughts
can’t be provoked since only some highly-developed technology
can provide the prerequisite of these thoughts. For example,
before the invention of telescope, it is impossible for man to do
some research work on cosmos, for that (多余)we are even incapable
of seeing it so we can only let alone the possibility to dig it
out or to further study. It is only through digital telescopes
that we are able to explore the marvels of the solar system;
it is only through the X-ray telescopes that we are capable
of appreciating the inner beauty of the limitless universe.
The more advance （advanced）technology has developed, the more
opportunity we have to reflect on what we have achieved
as well as what we could achieve.

In sum, the above statement oversimplifies the influence
of technology could have made on man’s thoughts and I
believe that our ability of thinking increased during the
development of technology. The perception that the
opposite of the above statement is true derives from
fully reflection of the influence of technology could
have made on our thoughts.(此句表达有点模糊，请再斟酌)
------>这个是从ETS范文里抄的句式,对观点反面的认同源与……

请注意：
1. ETS 比较倾向与用第三人称he或第一人称复数we，而非第一人称即“I”叙述；
2. 请再参考一下孙远的作文书有关Science and Technology的背景资料，这样或许会让您的作品更加有血有肉点。 ：）
没买到这本书，看来得找到看看

3. 论据还是欠缺点。
这次好很多啦，我的意见毕竟有其局限的一面，请一定再与其他考友切磋，大家一起努力吧，相信能克服一切困难的。愿与大伙儿共勉！
非常感谢你，第一次有人这么细的给我批作文，：）

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

Hi,
至于你提的前两个问题，原来我看错啦！不好意思。
但最后两句你说抄的是ETS的范文句子，那么我想点明的是，并不是所有范文都是绝对正确的，我发觉他们的思维都挺不错但语法往往不怎么样哦。

beckyyeeUID: 8330

谢谢tomatoeggs!