Argument6 新手限时第二篇 求拍

玻璃渣UID: 2599262

TOPIC: ARGUMENT6 - The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."
WORDS: 429
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-2-19 15:55:39

    In this argument, the author brought out several facts to support his loan plan. First, currently there is no jazz club nearby Monroe (M). Second, jazz is of great popularity in M. Third, nearly $1000 was spent per year in jazz nationwide. A careful inspection will reveal that these facts are not sufficient to guarantee a profitable result of C note.
    To begin with, the favor of 'Jazz Nightly' doesn't necessarily indicate that M's resident will also be interested to take part in a jazz club. On the contrary, the highest-rated radio program which airs every weeknight may attract those people, and provide them with a reason not to attend a jazz club. After all, turning on the radio is much more convenient than driving to a club. Neither can the residence of several well-know jazz musicians infer that a jazz club located in M will be warmly welcomed. It is quite possible that those musicians are acting in the nearest jazz club, or on frequent nationwide show.
Without evidence that the people in M will be eager to attend a jazz club, I can not accept that C will be so welcomed.
    Another critical fallacy the argument suffer is, the nationwide study that typical jazz fan spends nearly $1000 per year on jazz doesn't necessarily apply to M. It is quite possible that the fans in M do not follow these general trends. Besides, the money spend on jazz club may only contribute a little part to the whole budget. Thus, lacking evidence that M's residents will behave similarly as the typical jazz fans do, and they will indeed spend large amount of money on jazz club, the author's conclusion that C Note will make money is unconvincing.
    Finally, even assuming the people in M will be crazy about jazz club and they prone to spend a lot of money attending a jazz night, it doesn't means that C Note will definitely be profitable. As we all know, both revenue and cost contribute to the profit. Probably the rent in M is quite expensive, or the salary level in M is relatively high, which will inevitably increase the cost. Unless the author provides more information about supply, demand, and relative costs, it is almost impossible to make sure whether C Note will make money.
    In conclusion, the argument is not well reasoned. To strengthen it the author should provide clearer evidence that M's residents will go in for C Note. The author should also clearly analyze the relative costs against its incomings, and make this application more persuasive.

xiaoyaozi5566UID: 2510336

楼主最后那段的论证有点牵强，收税、工资、租金...如果俱乐部火的话，这些钱都不算什么的，除非到了非常变态的程度...
另外可以攻击那个100000个人参加的爵士乐节，那些人可能大部分都是从外地慕名而来的
还有最近的那家俱乐部，如果非常出名的话，60miles并不会显得很长（也就1一个多小时车程），人们可能更愿意去那家俱乐部

玻璃渣UID: 2599262

恩，有道理！谢谢哈～ 2# xiaoyaozi5566