看了几篇精华，明白为什么没人理睬了。诚求互改partner

長安UID：2573189

9月14号南京AW，二战。今天第一篇习作，没限时，找找感觉，树点信心。

文章没限时，不过希望有余力又热心的版友帮忙看看，如果语言和破题方法上没问题的话，我就开始按照这个sample继续练习了。当然，接下去会老老实实地限时。

谢谢诸位！

另外，如题，希望找个版友互改。

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 594          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-8-22 AM 12:08:18

I agree with the speaker's statement that the ability to socialize of our youth is of great importance in determining the future of our humanity. However, the following conclusion which carries the connotation that current education has failed its mission deserves further scrutiny.


Children, "the hope of tommorrow", "the future of our world", those glorious titles make the question of how to nurture them all the more essential, and apropos of the word 'cultivation', here it means more than just their intellectual potential, but more imprtantly, their capability to express their innermost feelings and ideas, to communicate with parents, friends and the rest of the society. There are two considerable merits in this very emphasis on the youngs' development of socializing skills. Firstly, the upkeeping statistics of teenagers' suicides call for our attention on their mental health, which largely lies in their ability to expressing themselves rather than repressing. Also, the growing overlapped and interweaven global village entails not only highly educated experts of a certain field, but also 'people persons', who have strong interpersonal skills and team spirit. The worldwide acknowledgement of the new term CQ，the abbreviation of 'compatibility quotient', being equally essential in achieving career success as IQ（interllectual quotient）attests to the necessecity of cultivating sociable children.


It holds true that the current educational system still has a long way to go before reaching perfection. Commercialized post-secondary schools are cramming even the most mediocre students, who would never be regarded as "college material" decades ago, into a degree course, as long as they are paid exorbitant extra amount of tuition. And this earns them not such a dignified title as"diploma mill". Nevertheless, to our relief, this disappointing senario still remains negligible in the broad panorama of the impressive 21st century education crusade. Take my country, China for example, a little more than 50 years ago, almost every 7 out of 10 people were either poorly educated or illiterate and with this ignorance they could barely actively and judiciously participate in the issues in which they have a direct stake. But thanks to the booming of public education, especially the preliminary as well as secondary compulsory education, the majority of Chinese people now are able to read and write. and for those who possess a relatively higher degree, the ruling class could no longer manipulate them anymore. If it was not for the nurturing of the citizens since they were young, the very formative education, perhaps today's China would be far more lagging behind the developed world.


"A better society", as the speaker put it, carries with it different meanings depending on its definition. If by saying "better", one refers to nothing more than just materially, then I believe very few people would doubt that it is through education that our humanity gain the momentum to progress and evolve. On the other hand, however, if the speaker broadens the meaning of this phrase to a phylosiphical level, then the "failure" is understandable, and "unfortunately" unavoidable, since there exists certain banals such as war and poverty that simply could not be eradicated over the course of human history. Not even by education or any form of material advancement.


In final analysis, the statement is reasonable in pointing out the significance of training our children to be sociable. But pontificating that today's education enterprise has failed to raise our young properly is unfair, for palpable development due to education indeed plays a noticeable role in revolutionizing our daily life and creating a more comfortable society, and "a better society" is a huge issue that perhaps should be better left to philosophors and preachers.

長安UID：2573189

暈，沒人理睬
自己頂一下