2009进军美利坚作文小组goback211第八次作业

goback211UID: 2419259

还是开题开不好，想不出什么合适的理由，如果大家有什么好的主意或方法，请提出来分享一下吧
时间没来得及修改，用了35分钟呢
老師應該要多花點時間幫助學生建立自信 than 傳授課業


Aswe know, the role of teachers is to inform the students and teach them moreinformation and knowledge. No one can deny the importance of knowledge we gotfrom the teachers. Most of the people become successful owing to his knowledgefrom schools. However, compared to the knowledge, there is something moreimportant for teachers to teach students. It is the confidence. As a goodteacher, helping the student become more confident would be more essential thanjust giving them the knowledge.

Ingeneral, confidence is the foundation for one person to study. In the school,being confident means that you are able to ask others questions which you cannot solve. As a confident student, you can take part in more contests orcompetitions, from which you can obtain more valuable experience that you cannot acquire in the class. I can remember one of my roommates, who succeeds toenter into the toppest university in China. Indeed, he didn't get moreknowledge in the classroom than others. However, during the courses, ourteachers encouraged him to speak his solution loudly and praised him veryoften. As a result, he becomes confident from a introvert student. During hiscollege life, he took part in many contests and got several outstanding prizesat last. Everyone around him agreed that it is the confidence that makes himlife change.

Eventhough we can get knowledge from the teachers in the class, if the teachers canhelp us build up our confidence, we would be more efficient on learning. Moreimportantly, a confident student would be more likely to create the innovativeideas. When teachers help us become confident, we can have the courage to castdoubt on the traditional theories, thus we have more probability to introduce anew method. Bill Gates, for instance, who set up the giant company calledMicrosoft, did not accomplish his college. In fact, he believed that he couldsucceed at last even though he did not graduate. So he gave up his furthereducation and began his own business, which is the most successful company now.Who can doubt the role of the confidence in his way to succeed?

Inaddition, in some situations, after graduated, the students may find a jobwhich doesn't need his major knowledge. So the knowledge from the teacher seemsto be useless. However, no matter what you are at last, the confidence is themost precious assert in your life. In your study, it helps you gain newknowledge, while in your job it would help you communicate more effectively.The most essential demand of an employee is to communicate with your manager.So the confidence would be your powerful weapon.


Tosum up, we know the knowledge from the classroom is important for us, but theconfidence would be more essential. In the modern time, communicating wouldbecome more and more frequent and fundamental. And the confidence would be thebase of life. Therefore, I think, the teacher should spend more time to helpstudents to be confident.

machi730UID: 2672537

先说一下总体的问题：从结构上来看 分段很清晰每段的主题相对明确 就是第四段有一点混乱 第一句话不能概括段落大意 从语言上来看 表达整体没有太大问题 只是注意三点 第一人称要统一 we和you不要来回换 第二有一些词和短语的使用不当 导致意思不明确 第三 可以考虑句式增加一些变化 比如相邻两句话的主语形式可以不一样 具体问题我标出来了 第一次点评T作文 有说的不对的地方多多包涵^^

As we know, the role of teachers is to inform the students and teach them more information and knowledge(感觉意思有点重复). No one can deny the importance of knowledge we got from the teachers. Most of the people become successful owing to his （应该是their吧 和前面的主语保持一致）knowledge from schools. However, compared to the knowledge, there is something可以考虑加个副词强调一下 比如even more important for teachers to teach students. It is the confidence. As a good teacher, helping the students become more confident would be more essential than just giving them the knowledge.

In general, confidence is the foundation for one person to study(感觉不太自然 可以直接说foundation of study 再长一点可以加个限定 比如especially for the students who are involved in our education system). In the school,being confident means that you are able to ask others questions which you cannot solve. As a confident student, you can take part in more contests or competitions, from which you can obtain more valuable experience that you cannot acquire（感觉这句话you用得太多了 最后这个可以考虑换成that cannot be acquired...） in the class. I can remember one of my roommates, who succeeds to enter into(有enter就不用into了) the toppest university in China. Indeed, he didn't get moreknowledge in the classroom than others.  (这两句话可以合一下 我觉得可以把however后面的话变成定语从句修饰那个同学 把进入最好的大学当成谓语 这样逻辑比较对 这样的话后面那句话就不用转折了)However, during the courses, ourteachers encouraged him to speak his solution loudly and praised him veryoften. As a result, he becomes confident from a introvert student. During hiscollege life, he took part in many contests and got several outstanding prizes at last. Everyone around him agreed that it is the confidence that makes himlife change（语法有问题 可以直接说changes his life）.

Even though（Although会比较好吧？even though感觉语气太强了）we can get knowledge from the teachers in the class（觉得这句话跟后面不是转折关系 可以考虑改成尽管我们自己也可以建立自信之类的更合理的说法 比如这两句话可以改成Although we may gain confidence by ourselves to improve study, if the teachers can provide some help to this confidence-building process, ） , if the teachers canhelp us build up our confidence, we would be more efficient on learning. More importantly, a confident student would be more likely to create the innovative ideas. When teachers help us become confident(前后主语最好一直 可以考虑换成after becoming confident with the teachers' help), we can have the courage to cast doubt on the traditional theories, thus we have more probability(应该是复数吧？) to introduce（这个动词值得商榷 还有为了句式的多样化避免和前半句重复 可以改成thus it is more possible for us to come up with new ideas） anew method. Bill Gates, for instance, who set up the giant company calledMicrosoft, did not accomplish his college(题外话 他其实后来回哈佛拿了毕业证。。。 还有college 后面加个study 或者courses比较好). In fact, he believed that he couldsucceed at last even though he did not graduate. So he gave up his furthereducation and began his own business, which is the most successful company now.Who can doubt the role of the confidence in his way to succeed?

In addition, in some situations, after graduated（after graduation）, the students may find a job which doesn't（考试时不要用缩写） need his major knowledge. So the knowledge(we have got) from the teacher（s） seemsto be useless（有点绝对 可以加个限定 比如under this circumstance 或者sometimes）. However, no matter what you are at last（文中we和you混着说感觉很乱 最好统一一下）, the confidence is themost precious assert（？想说什么？这个词是主张断言的动词） in your life. In your study, it helps you gain newknowledge, while in your job it would help you communicate more effectively.（这个关于自信在工作中的作用应该在段首提一下 否则这段的观点不明确 我觉得这段的目的是对比上一段说自信在工作中的重要性 可是前面一直在说知识不那么重要 又说自信对人生重要 我觉得突出工作这点比较好 再举个例子说明自信是如何促进工作中的交流的 ）The most essential demand of an employee is to communicate with your manager.So the confidence would be your powerful weapon.

To sum up, we know the knowledge from the classroom is important for us, but the confidence would be more essential. In the modern time（这个短语是近代的意思 不是现代社会 可以说In modern society）, communicating would这里说的是事实的话可以直接讲is becoming become more and more frequent and fundamental. And the confidence would be thebase of life. Therefore, I think, the teacher should spend more time to helpstudents to be confident.

这个总结可以在修改一下 把你上面说的三点综合一下 比如我读的时候感觉第一段在说自信是学习的基础 第二段在说自信可以帮助学生更有效的学习并且促进创新 第三段虽然有点混乱 但是结尾在说自信可以促进沟通所以在工作中也很重要 最后一段应该扣着这三点来谈 而不是泛泛的说自信是生活的基础 即使想这样说也可以用一个定语从句先顶一下生活的范围 比如the confidence would be the very base of life, on which we develop our abilities of effective lerning in study as well as the skills of  efficient communicating in work.

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

Aswe know, the role of teachers is to inform the students and teach them moreinformation and knowledge. No one can deny the importance of knowledge we got from the teachers. Most of the people become successful owing to his knowledge from schools. However, compared--comparing to the knowledge, there is something moreimportant for teachers to teach students. It is the confidence可以用从句的形式连在一起. . As a goodteacher, helping the student become more confident would be more essential thanjust giving them the knowledge.

Ingeneral, confidence is the foundation for one person to study. In the school,being confident means that you are able to ask others questions which you cannot solve:O 貌似应该是脸皮问题.... As a confident student, you can take part in这个好 more contests orcompetitions, from which you can obtain more valuable experience that you cannot acquire in the class. I can remember one of my roommates, who succeeds toenter into the toppest university in China. Indeed, he didn't get moreknowledge in the classroom than others. However, during the courses, ourteachers encouraged him to speak--show or share or talk his solution loudly and praised him veryoften可以再读读. As a result, he becomes confident from a introvert student.貌似内向不跟自信发生关系.. During hiscollege life, he took part in many contests and got several outstanding prizesat last. Everyone around him agreed that it is the confidence that makes himlife change.9 X7 l+ g1 }. ^, j1 o5 D" y/ T. J

Eventhough we can get knowledge from the teachers in the class, if the teachers canhelp us build up our confidence, we would be more efficient on learning. Moreimportantly, a confident student would be more likely to create the innovativeideas. When teachers help us become confident, we can have the courage to castdoubt on the traditional theories, thus we have more probability to introduce anew method. Bill Gates, for instance, who set up the giant company calledMicrosoft, did not accomplish his college. In fact, he believed that he couldsucceed at last even though he did not graduate. So he gave up his furthereducation and began his own business, which is the most successful company now.Who can doubt the role of the confidence in his way to succeed? bill 的故事很好的, 中间的语音有点简单细节多

ition, in some situations, after graduated, the students may find a jobwhich doesn't need his major knowledge. So the knowledge from the teacher seemsto be useless哥们不要那么绝对, 这老师看到不得气出病啊. However, no matter what you are at last, the confidence is themost precious assert in your life. In your study, it helps you gain newknowledge, while in your job it would help you communicate more effectively.The most essential demand of an employee is to communicate with your manager.So the confidence would be your powerful weapon.

Tosum up, we know the knowledge from the classroom is important for us, but theconfidence would be more essential. In the modern time, communicating wouldbecome more and more frequent and fundamental. And the confidence would be thebase of life--basic element in one's life. Therefore, I think, the teacher should spend more time to helpstudents to be confident. 在730的基础上改. 他改很多啊, 真是汗颜...我觉得这个没有你写小作文的好. 小作文不错的.应该借鉴下小作文句子结构和语法. 改的不好见谅..