=七月流火=小组第5次小组作业 argument9 by lghscu

lghscuUID: 2552043

TOPIC: ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
WORDS: 402
TIME: 00:27:05
DATE: 2009-8-28 19:29:14

The argument presented above seems relatively sound, for recommending that a termination of student evaluation of teaching effectiveness should be adopted by Omega Unniversity based on the assumption that evaluating the teaching effectiveness causes the higher grades and that these higher grades lead to employers' disconfindence in graduates and that a bad situation takes place in job hungting. However, a close scrutiny reveals several flaws in the argument.
In the first place, the dean at Omega University makes an unwarranted assumption that the evaluation of professors by students causes a untrue higher grades. There is no evidence provided about this assumption. It might be the case that an increasing number of clever students are enrolled by the university. Consequently they have better performance in many aspects of studey, including higher grades. It also might be the case that the faculties at Omega University are working harder and harder, resulting a good performance in teaching as well. Therefore, without ruling out such alternatives to the increase in grades, the dean's recommendation would be that convincing.
In the second place, another important thing to consider is the reason why Omega University students have not been as excellent in finding jobs as others in Alpah University. Perhaps, it is other qualities rather than grades that many empoyers are not satified with. For example, the ability to coorporate is lacked by most of the students, which is essential for the companies. The dean at Omega University should provide such detailed information about the integral abilities possessed by the students before a final decision is made.
Last but not least, terminating student evaluation of professors does not mean a guarantee for the students to find better jobs. The university should make some surveys or something else to find out what causes the failing of find better jobs. Whether the curriculum is adequate to satisfy the need of the companies? If not, the Omega University should make some changes in its specializations to fit the possible gap between the students and the employers. Only considering all possible factors can the university make a wise decision rather than terminating the evaluation system.
In sum, based on the discussions above, the dean at Omega University should make a further investigation about the reason why the grades become higer, and why the students could not find better jobs. Otherwise, the commendation would be accepted easily due to its deficiency in reasoning.

1070810820UID: 2639450

来回拍了
The argument presented above seems relatively sound, for recommending that a termination of student evaluation of teaching effectiveness should be adopted by Omega Unniversity 【based on the assumption that evaluating the teaching effectiveness causes the higher grades and that these higher grades lead to employers' disconfindence in graduates and that a bad situation takes place in job hungting】( 把这段放到最前面会比较通一点) . However, a close scrutiny reveals several flaws in the argument.(开头还是有些臃肿)

In the first place, the dean at Omega University makes an unwarranted assumption that the evaluation of professors by students causes a untrue higher grades. There is no evidence provided about this assumption. It might be the case that an increasing number of clever students are enrolled 【by】（into） the university. Consequently they have better performance in many aspects of 【studey】（study）, 【including】（leading to） higher grades. It also might be the case that the faculties at Omega University are working harder and harder, resulting （in）a 【good】（better） performance in teaching as well. Therefore, without ruling out such alternatives to the increase in grades, the dean's recommendation would be 【that convincing】（unconvincing）.

In the second place, another important thing to consider is the reason why Omega University students have not been as excellent in finding jobs as others in Alpah University. Perhaps, it is other qualities rather than grades that many empoyers are not satified with. For example, the ability to 【coorporate】（cooperate） is lacked by most of the students, 【which is essential for the companies】（把这句移到cooperate后面）. The dean at Omega University should provide such detailed information about the integral abilities possessed by the students before a final decision is made.（这段的论证还不够充分，可以对OU和AU进行其他方面的对比）

Last but not least, terminating student evaluation of professors does not mean a guarantee for the students to find better jobs. The university should make some surveys or something else to find out what causes the 【failing of find better jobs】（failure in finding better jobs）. Whether the curriculum is adequate to satisfy the need of the companies? If not, the Omega University should make some changes in its specializations to fit the possible gap between the students and the employers. Only considering all possible factors can the university make a 【wise】（wiser） decision rather than terminating the evaluation system.

In sum, based on the discussions above, the dean at Omega University should make a further investigation about the reason why the grades become higer, and why the students could not find better jobs. Otherwise, the commendation would be accepted easily due to its deficiency in reasoning.

楼主可以把开头和结尾在写简短些，这样就能有时间把中间部分写得更详细深入